What would you do or say...

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Replies

  • jfluchere
    jfluchere Posts: 346 Member
    You do look good and forget about her. Find a true person and show her your old pictures when you really want to impress her.
  • lr8812
    lr8812 Posts: 111
    Just like to say thank you everyone. Means a lot. I will take the advice and move on. I'll find someone who is right for me.
  • hvasu
    hvasu Posts: 1
    Don't even bother thinking about her.. Not worth your time
  • skinnyfabulous
    skinnyfabulous Posts: 7
    With everything already said by the fellows up here I'll just going to add: "superficial b*tches... superficial B*itces eeeeeevrywhere!!!
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
    Hey fellas, quick question here. Let me share a story. I met a girl last year through my mom's job. The girl was an intern and the same age as me. We never actually met, just texted/talked on phone, and chatted through Facebook. We talked a lot, then it dwindled down. She expected me, at the time, to be this guido (did I get that right?) looking guy and have this amazing body. Well, at the time, I was around 200 + pounds, had a really fat face, and a big 'ol tummy to boot. Plus I lost interest in my appearances. Never would get the proper haircut, never care about my face, etc. So basically, I was... a mess.

    Now her, she was the usual blonde. She's very pretty and that opinion will never change. Eventually, this happened. In August, when my weight was around 207 pounds, still at an all time high... I said ya know, I'm going to meet her. I arranged for us to meet and well.. this is when disaster struck. She came to a friend's get together. It was me, my friend, and about 10 other people (mix of guys/girls) and I expected her and I to hit it off. Well... she comes in, I'm sitting down. I wave, she says hi... and the WHOLE night, I kid you not... we never even made eye contact. I even text messaged her asking why we weren't talking. She promised at a later time we'd meet again/talk. I said to myself, I think I made a mistake. I'm simply not for her. Disaster soon struck. She actually went outside, at a get together I INVITED HER TO! And she talked it up with the other guys and they all became best buddies. I'll never forget the feeling of just... being pushed to the side and basically spit on. It was terrible.

    Fast forward. I never met her again. Never texted. I recently posted my story on Facebook, where she was still my friend. She saw it, and I got a response... saying wow, she was stunned, and that I look amazing NOW! Ok... NOW I do?? What the hell. I'm the same guy I always was, expect yes, I admit it, I look MUCH better now and FEEL much better. I maintain the proper look now. But now, she immediately has messaged me again, saying I look so great.. and how she'd like to be my "Valentine". She flat out asked if I was single.

    What do I do? Should I bother with her? Or do I move forward and find a new girl. Hmmm. My friends, help me!

    Shallow b*tch alert.

    Run. Don't walk.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    No way - do not bother with her. That was VERY rude of her to act that way at that party. Nobody deserves to be ignored like that unless they are acting like a jerk, which you clearly were not. Do not give this girl any more thought just because she is pretty.

    If you had a sister (assuming you do) and she told you that a guy had treated her that way, what would you recommend to her?
  • Fit_Mama84
    Fit_Mama84 Posts: 234 Member
    Well, it's hard to say without actually knowing the girl. So let me ask you this, if your weight went up again due to any factor, depression, loss of commitment to your healthy life style, medical conditions, etc... how likely is it that she would be your support and stay by your side? Just something to consider.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    She's not worth the effort.

    Just a question - if she wasn't into you when you were big, what happens (and I don't think this will) if you guys start dating and then you gain the weight back? Is she going to leave?

    You deserve someone who will be there through thick and thin (literally). Wait for someone better.
  • Ceezie
    Ceezie Posts: 21 Member
    Not worth your time -___-
    Really, it's because you LOOK GOOD now..
    :X
  • skarr28
    skarr28 Posts: 98
    Just like to say thank you everyone. Means a lot. I will take the advice and move on. I'll find someone who is right for me.

    Kudos! I was actually in the same boat a few years ago. I took a year long course with about 50 other ppl. Half of which were guys and I was about 216 lbs. Almost everyone started dating eachother, lol (except me). No one would consider me until a few months later, when I had lost a lot of weight. One day, I walked into the building with my new wardrobe (clothes that actually fit) and suddenly the guys stood around in groups & were checking me out & started talking to me more, inviting me to places.

    It actually made me feel bad at first, as if I wasn't worthy of the attn before that day. I didn't bother with any of them. Fast forward to today and I'm more decided on what kind of guy I'd like to be with. So kudos to you for showing her (and yourself) that you're worth better than that (not even eye contact??? How cruel!)

    :flowerforyou:
  • cotso
    cotso Posts: 86
    bro, she ain't worth it.
  • future_marathoner
    future_marathoner Posts: 170 Member
    If she didn't give you the time of day then, she doesn't deserve your time now. You are the same person you were back then, you just look different. She sounds like there isn't a chance in hell she deserves your time :o) Enjoy the new life and the new people you get to meet who appreciate you.
  • ImSoPerfectlyFlawed
    ImSoPerfectlyFlawed Posts: 127 Member
    Don't waste your time hon, she doesn't sound worth it
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    A true lady will be friendly, regardless of romantic or physical attraction. It doesnt matter whether she found you attractive or not, she simply is oblivious to basic etiquette and tact, or worse, she doesn't care as long as she receives the kind of attention she wants. Not the best relationship material.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
    What's that quote, "If they can't handle me at my worst, they don't deserve me at my best"? That seems applicable here. I'm actually appalled that she'd actually have the gall to act that rudely and then ask you to go out after citing the fact that you now look good, as if you'd have no negative feelings or memory of the way she treated you. Some people will never cease to amaze me.
  • ESVABelle
    ESVABelle Posts: 1,264 Member
    So the problem is a girl you wanted to get with in the past blew you off. Now she's all over your stuff.......well what's the Damn problem? You should give her what she wants and get out!

    Oh wait, this isn't one-time use? Well f*** me, lol
  • bubblywine
    bubblywine Posts: 28 Member
    hmm. I'm going to disagree with some people here, because I think we are capable of change. If we weren't, what's the point of life? If this girl appeared to be put off by your weight, even though you had enjoyed good conversations, and now is comfortable with how you look....and if you have the confidence to be the grown up here, this is an opportunity for the two of you to explore the impact of stereotypes and prejudice/prejudgment. I'm not saying to get emotionally involved; certainly do NOT do that, unless and until you feel that she understands who and what you are.

    And to my fellow MFP members, we all know that we are judged by our weight, our looks, etc. It can't be denied. Being self-righteous might feel good but doesn't make it go away. Let's face it, address it, deal with it, talk about it.

    I'd say, meet with her, tell her exactly what you feel and think and tell her how you feel pretty icky about how things went earlier and that you don't have a lot of trust in her friendship yet, and see how it goes.

    Or not. There are a lot of fishh in the sea!
  • supershiny
    supershiny Posts: 170 Member
    Umm... so she has a type. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference. That doesn't make her shallow. I would go on a date with a guy when I am at my goal weight who wouldn't have started dating me while I was this weight. She didn't have anything invested in your relationship and she didn't owe you anything. The littlest thing can make someone not want to date another person. However, her just cutting you off was pretty crappy of her.

    If you like her enough, go on a date with her and see if you click. You never know. If you don't like her that much (and this is just a passing whim), I'd say let her down easy.
  • jillybean0123
    jillybean0123 Posts: 238 Member
    I have the perfect solution to your problem. Date me instead.

    That'll show her.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    While, I noticed that most people are quick to blame her. I'm not going to blame or vindicate her behavior. Not even going to try and interpret it, but, I would point out that relationships are all about chemistry between two people.

    When you were at your heaviest, your self image may have been suffering and you may have been putting out an entirely different version of yourself. Self effacement, low self-esteem. You may not have putting out the image that you are now.

    If you want to give it a try; give it a try. You've both evolved since then. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't, but you'll never know if you don't try.

    By the way, everyone is attracted to a "type". Nothing wrong with that.
  • lynnmarie60
    lynnmarie60 Posts: 325
    she didn't like you for who you are but what you looked like; of course she IS NOT worth your time.
  • CharityPearce
    CharityPearce Posts: 215
    The thing is, I can understand her just simply not feeling the physical attraction. But the fact she couldn't even talk to you for ONE NIGHT means she is really is just shallow. If she were at least friendly when you had invited her to meet, then I could see giving her a chance. You deserve someone who is NICE, and she is not.


    ^^This.^^ And here's something else I was thinking. How do you feel about dating girls who have a few extra pounds and aren't into taking care of themselves? Women are always b**ches when they are shallow, but guys are just expected to get the gorgeous girl. I don't feel I'm shallow at all. And I think it was really, really crappy that she ignored you at a party you invited her to. Just thought I'd put the whole thing in a different perspective. Just sayin...
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
    I only have 2 thoughts really - 1st of all - if we are not physically attracted to the other person for whatever reason, chances are we are not going to try to get involved with them. Even though people can be good or bad underneath it all - it's the outside package which first draws your attention. An unfortunate truth. There has to be something drawing you towards that other person.

    2nd - by not even speaking with you at a party you invited her to even though you txted her about it shows that underneath it all she is not a very good person. She still could have hung with you and if you made advances she could have nicely said she wasn't interested in that way. She still could have and should have hung out with the one who invited her. If anything, she could have gained a great friend instead of writing you off as unworthy to even speak with.

    For reason #2 - I would say you shouldn't waste any time on her. You can do and deserve better. Never settle for less.
  • BFit40
    BFit40 Posts: 163 Member
    If I were you I wouldn't pursue a relationship. If it were me and it started to look long-term, I would be spending all my time worrying if I gained a few small pounds whether she would take that as a licence to dump me. Do you want that pressure?
  • brian_lee78
    brian_lee78 Posts: 1
    Who ****ing cares
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