What would you do or say...

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  • cotso
    cotso Posts: 86
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    bro, she ain't worth it.
  • future_marathoner
    future_marathoner Posts: 170 Member
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    If she didn't give you the time of day then, she doesn't deserve your time now. You are the same person you were back then, you just look different. She sounds like there isn't a chance in hell she deserves your time :o) Enjoy the new life and the new people you get to meet who appreciate you.
  • ImSoPerfectlyFlawed
    ImSoPerfectlyFlawed Posts: 127 Member
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    Don't waste your time hon, she doesn't sound worth it
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    A true lady will be friendly, regardless of romantic or physical attraction. It doesnt matter whether she found you attractive or not, she simply is oblivious to basic etiquette and tact, or worse, she doesn't care as long as she receives the kind of attention she wants. Not the best relationship material.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    What's that quote, "If they can't handle me at my worst, they don't deserve me at my best"? That seems applicable here. I'm actually appalled that she'd actually have the gall to act that rudely and then ask you to go out after citing the fact that you now look good, as if you'd have no negative feelings or memory of the way she treated you. Some people will never cease to amaze me.
  • ESVABelle
    ESVABelle Posts: 1,264 Member
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    So the problem is a girl you wanted to get with in the past blew you off. Now she's all over your stuff.......well what's the Damn problem? You should give her what she wants and get out!

    Oh wait, this isn't one-time use? Well f*** me, lol
  • bubblywine
    bubblywine Posts: 28 Member
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    hmm. I'm going to disagree with some people here, because I think we are capable of change. If we weren't, what's the point of life? If this girl appeared to be put off by your weight, even though you had enjoyed good conversations, and now is comfortable with how you look....and if you have the confidence to be the grown up here, this is an opportunity for the two of you to explore the impact of stereotypes and prejudice/prejudgment. I'm not saying to get emotionally involved; certainly do NOT do that, unless and until you feel that she understands who and what you are.

    And to my fellow MFP members, we all know that we are judged by our weight, our looks, etc. It can't be denied. Being self-righteous might feel good but doesn't make it go away. Let's face it, address it, deal with it, talk about it.

    I'd say, meet with her, tell her exactly what you feel and think and tell her how you feel pretty icky about how things went earlier and that you don't have a lot of trust in her friendship yet, and see how it goes.

    Or not. There are a lot of fishh in the sea!
  • supershiny
    supershiny Posts: 170 Member
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    Umm... so she has a type. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference. That doesn't make her shallow. I would go on a date with a guy when I am at my goal weight who wouldn't have started dating me while I was this weight. She didn't have anything invested in your relationship and she didn't owe you anything. The littlest thing can make someone not want to date another person. However, her just cutting you off was pretty crappy of her.

    If you like her enough, go on a date with her and see if you click. You never know. If you don't like her that much (and this is just a passing whim), I'd say let her down easy.
  • jillybean0123
    jillybean0123 Posts: 238 Member
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    I have the perfect solution to your problem. Date me instead.

    That'll show her.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    While, I noticed that most people are quick to blame her. I'm not going to blame or vindicate her behavior. Not even going to try and interpret it, but, I would point out that relationships are all about chemistry between two people.

    When you were at your heaviest, your self image may have been suffering and you may have been putting out an entirely different version of yourself. Self effacement, low self-esteem. You may not have putting out the image that you are now.

    If you want to give it a try; give it a try. You've both evolved since then. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't, but you'll never know if you don't try.

    By the way, everyone is attracted to a "type". Nothing wrong with that.
  • lynnmarie60
    lynnmarie60 Posts: 325
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    she didn't like you for who you are but what you looked like; of course she IS NOT worth your time.
  • CharityPearce
    CharityPearce Posts: 215
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    The thing is, I can understand her just simply not feeling the physical attraction. But the fact she couldn't even talk to you for ONE NIGHT means she is really is just shallow. If she were at least friendly when you had invited her to meet, then I could see giving her a chance. You deserve someone who is NICE, and she is not.


    ^^This.^^ And here's something else I was thinking. How do you feel about dating girls who have a few extra pounds and aren't into taking care of themselves? Women are always b**ches when they are shallow, but guys are just expected to get the gorgeous girl. I don't feel I'm shallow at all. And I think it was really, really crappy that she ignored you at a party you invited her to. Just thought I'd put the whole thing in a different perspective. Just sayin...
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    I only have 2 thoughts really - 1st of all - if we are not physically attracted to the other person for whatever reason, chances are we are not going to try to get involved with them. Even though people can be good or bad underneath it all - it's the outside package which first draws your attention. An unfortunate truth. There has to be something drawing you towards that other person.

    2nd - by not even speaking with you at a party you invited her to even though you txted her about it shows that underneath it all she is not a very good person. She still could have hung with you and if you made advances she could have nicely said she wasn't interested in that way. She still could have and should have hung out with the one who invited her. If anything, she could have gained a great friend instead of writing you off as unworthy to even speak with.

    For reason #2 - I would say you shouldn't waste any time on her. You can do and deserve better. Never settle for less.
  • BFit40
    BFit40 Posts: 163 Member
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    If I were you I wouldn't pursue a relationship. If it were me and it started to look long-term, I would be spending all my time worrying if I gained a few small pounds whether she would take that as a licence to dump me. Do you want that pressure?
  • brian_lee78
    brian_lee78 Posts: 1
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    Who ****ing cares

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