Do you find that people take your weight loss personally?

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ShrinkingChelle
ShrinkingChelle Posts: 187
in Health and Weight Loss
I get really frustrated when people take that Im trying to loss weight personally. My goal is 120, Im 5'4, this is a healthy weight, it is not unrealistic. Well I was talking to some of the girls at work and one lady chimed in said from where when I said I have another 20 lbs to loss. Then I got that if you think you have that much to loss you must think that I have tons to loss. Sometimes I just want to yell 'I dont really care how big you are, if you are happy with your body then thats good. I am not, stop trying to make this about you.'
So theres my vent, thank you for listening.
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Replies

  • michelleherinckx
    michelleherinckx Posts: 63
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    I can totally relate! I started at 183 and am now 155, with my goal weight being 130. Once I got into the low 160's I think my weight loss became easier to see, and I have had so many of those comments from coworkers!! It's bittersweet because it makes me feel flattered when they say "I don't know where you're thinking you have more weight to lose" but at the same time it gets frustrating when they end it with "gosh what must I look like in comparison." I think women just tend to internalize this type of stuff more, and when they see someone else lose weight and they wish they were too (or are having a harder time doing it), that is what comes out. But it does make it awkward - how are you supposed to respond?

    By the way my name is Michelle too! C:
  • renaconnor
    renaconnor Posts: 38 Member
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    Yes!!! Omg...so my birthday is on Sunday and I flat out told my coworkers I do NOT want a cake...I am on a diet. They got all butt-hurt (secretly because they want the cake for themselves!) and my mom told me I was wrong for refusing a cake from my boss. WHY?!?! I'm not going to eat it!!! Please do not waste your money...otherwise take that money and put into a gift card or something...lol. Be careful...the more you lose the more people will tell you you look sickly, mal-nutritioned. But you just focus on a healthy BMI and body fat percent. Most importantly, figure out a weight that makes YOU happy.
  • ashnm88
    ashnm88 Posts: 748
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    Well hun, I think if that's your goal, I support it. :) Like for me when I said 140lbs is my goal, I had one friend say that's too skinny...it bugged me but now who cares.

    Keep it up Chelle... can't wait to see you again. :)
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    If you're not obviously overweight, you're going to get some funny looks and/or comments when you say you're losing weight. That's why I pretty much keep my goals to myself, because the general public just doesn't understand.
  • VelvetKey
    VelvetKey Posts: 193 Member
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    I can understand; I keep getting told that "I'm disappearing" and "37 more pounds?" and then I get the up-and-down 'from where?' look.

    I have responded that because I'm freakishly tall that the weight sits differently on me. My goal is to have a healthy BMI, not to look good in tiny clothes. Now, I'm certainly not going to object if I can squeeze back in to my tankini this summer, but my priority isn't to look good for anyone.

    I just want to hear my doctor say, "You're at a good weight." Or even better: Nothing at all about it!
  • DisneyMommy
    DisneyMommy Posts: 281
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    If you're not obviously overweight, you're going to get some funny looks and/or comments when you say you're losing weight. That's why I pretty much keep my goals to myself, because the general public just doesn't understand.
    This....totally this!
  • silvabelle89
    silvabelle89 Posts: 76
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    I hear you..... I literally get embarrassed when I get dinner with friends or family and I don't get a hefty meal. Sounds stupid but I just don't wanna be made fun of or hear the ' you
    Don't need to lose weight' BS.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I have responded that because I'm freakishly tall that the weight sits differently on me. My goal is to have a healthy BMI, not to look good in tiny clothes.


    UGH! Me too!! I weigh A LOT! But I don't look like it because I'm 5'9. I weigh 190, and you would honestly never be able to tell. I also hate the up and down look going "where?"

    That's when I say, "You haven't seen me naked" and I usually get and "Oh" and that's the end of it.
  • pdworkman
    pdworkman Posts: 1,342 Member
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    My husband's mother nurtures with food, so she has a really hard time seeing him lose weight. Is he calling her bad for making him overweight? Is he calling her food bad because he won't eat that kind of food any more? Is that evil wife of his trying to turn him against her? She says he looks good, and she's proud of him, but . . . wouldn't he like something to eat? When is he going to stop losing weight? Isn't he getting too skinny?

    Pam
  • emmyvera
    emmyvera Posts: 599 Member
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    I understand where you are coming from. BUT that's just how people are. Some people can have their guard up because of their own weight circumstances.

    I get "made fun of" a lot because I go to the gym like every day. So an organization I am a part of is always razzing me about that and how I'm always dressed up in gym clothes.

    Yes, I don't have a lot to lose. But I want to be healthy. That is most important. Also I want to be in good shape before I start having kids. And watching my mother and father grow older with health problems made me see the light.

    If I start taking care of myself now, I can live a longer, healthier life with my family and children. It's all about where people's perspectives are coming from and how they perceive you. No one on either end should take it personally. :heart:

    My close friends and family know why I am working so hard and trying to live a healthy lifestyle. For all those others, it's whatever. Don't judge a book by it's cover. :wink:
  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I've said that before but its more in response to someone half my size going "Oh I'm so fat" ...really!?!
    Also my husband is so offended by me trying though because he has a hard time understanding why I want to lose weight (for me) when he thinks I "look sexy" where I'm at..
  • Psyb3r
    Psyb3r Posts: 176 Member
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    I have responded that because I'm freakishly tall that the weight sits differently on me. My goal is to have a healthy BMI, not to look good in tiny clothes.


    UGH! Me too!! I weigh A LOT! But I don't look like it because I'm 5'9. I weigh 190, and you would honestly never be able to tell. I also hate the up and down look going "where?"


    That's when I say, "You haven't seen me naked" and I usually get and "Oh" and that's the end of it.

    That's why I say too! It normally stops them from commenting again. I really think that people don't think about what they say before they say it. And/or they are jealous. I'm the only person at my work who's managed to lose weight last year, and now they all tell me I don't need to lose anymore, or "I'm going to blow away with a stiff wind"... I think it's because they know if they'd kept with it, they would be much slimmer too... I'm not doing it for them though, I'm doing it for me.. so I try to ignore it.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    People often get stuck seeing you a certain way, and because most people don't like or don't adjust to change well, they don't respond well when YOU start making changes. It also has a tendency to show a big shiny mirror in the face of their own issues.

    It's about THEM. Don't let them make it about YOU. You're doing great, keep at it :)
  • lackofnames3
    lackofnames3 Posts: 30 Member
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    I'm 5"8 and have about 80 pounds to lose..people think I don't bc I am tall. 190 at five-nine probably looks amazing..at my thinnest I was 185..my goal is 175 and my dream is 165! I am one of t hose people who compares myself to everyone and I do feel really awkward when someone much thinner is talking about weight loss. I had to realize everyone has their goals and I just try to encourage them with their goals and hope if they were my friend..they would do the same for me: )
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I'm 5"8 and have about 80 pounds to lose..people think I don't bc I am tall. 190 at five-nine probably looks amazing..at my thinnest I was 185..my goal is 175 and my dream is 165! I am one of t hose people who compares myself to everyone and I do feel really awkward when someone much thinner is talking about weight loss. I had to realize everyone has their goals and I just try to encourage them with their goals and hope if they were my friend..they would do the same for me: )

    lol 190 at 5'9 isn't horrible, but far from amazing! My goal weight is 160-155. THAT would be amazing!!! haha
  • mochalovies
    mochalovies Posts: 192 Member
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    That is when I tell them that what I want to do with my body is none of their business...
  • jjblogs
    jjblogs Posts: 327 Member
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    If you're not obviously overweight, you're going to get some funny looks and/or comments when you say you're losing weight. That's why I pretty much keep my goals to myself, because the general public just doesn't understand.

    This. People have so many issues with themselves, they don't usually want to hear your accomplishments. Live and learn.
  • Thad81
    Thad81 Posts: 138 Member
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    I have noticed this too! It seems to bother some people that both you want to lose more and that you try to eat well. Like it has anything to do with anyone else or what they should be doing if you are trying to improve yourself. I say congratulate anyone that is trying to do something for themselves and theirs and those that are happy with where they are! Weight loss and health improvement are personal things that should have nothing to do with what if anything other people are doing!
  • rlysrh
    rlysrh Posts: 244
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    Maybe I'm mis-understanding but I don't know why people get pissed off when people tell them they don't need to lose any more weight, its a compliment. They think you already look good. You should just smile and say thank you.
  • charisxena
    charisxena Posts: 19
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    Omg, this post!

    I live at home with my parents so they notice how my eating habits have changed and how different I look. This makes them feel guilty as they are overweight themselves, so it puts them off their food and they say like "Oh I'd lose weight but I love eating".

    So, I get really frustrated because I still eat the same evening meal as they do, in fact I haven't changed my eating habits all that much so they complain over the fact that I'm losing weight and they're not. It's like they make me feel bad for losing weight.

    Ugh.

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