Do you find that people take your weight loss personally?
ShrinkingChelle
Posts: 187
I get really frustrated when people take that Im trying to loss weight personally. My goal is 120, Im 5'4, this is a healthy weight, it is not unrealistic. Well I was talking to some of the girls at work and one lady chimed in said from where when I said I have another 20 lbs to loss. Then I got that if you think you have that much to loss you must think that I have tons to loss. Sometimes I just want to yell 'I dont really care how big you are, if you are happy with your body then thats good. I am not, stop trying to make this about you.'
So theres my vent, thank you for listening.
So theres my vent, thank you for listening.
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Replies
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I can totally relate! I started at 183 and am now 155, with my goal weight being 130. Once I got into the low 160's I think my weight loss became easier to see, and I have had so many of those comments from coworkers!! It's bittersweet because it makes me feel flattered when they say "I don't know where you're thinking you have more weight to lose" but at the same time it gets frustrating when they end it with "gosh what must I look like in comparison." I think women just tend to internalize this type of stuff more, and when they see someone else lose weight and they wish they were too (or are having a harder time doing it), that is what comes out. But it does make it awkward - how are you supposed to respond?
By the way my name is Michelle too! C:0 -
Yes!!! Omg...so my birthday is on Sunday and I flat out told my coworkers I do NOT want a cake...I am on a diet. They got all butt-hurt (secretly because they want the cake for themselves!) and my mom told me I was wrong for refusing a cake from my boss. WHY?!?! I'm not going to eat it!!! Please do not waste your money...otherwise take that money and put into a gift card or something...lol. Be careful...the more you lose the more people will tell you you look sickly, mal-nutritioned. But you just focus on a healthy BMI and body fat percent. Most importantly, figure out a weight that makes YOU happy.0
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Well hun, I think if that's your goal, I support it.
Like for me when I said 140lbs is my goal, I had one friend say that's too skinny...it bugged me but now who cares.
Keep it up Chelle... can't wait to see you again. 0 -
If you're not obviously overweight, you're going to get some funny looks and/or comments when you say you're losing weight. That's why I pretty much keep my goals to myself, because the general public just doesn't understand.0
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I can understand; I keep getting told that "I'm disappearing" and "37 more pounds?" and then I get the up-and-down 'from where?' look.
I have responded that because I'm freakishly tall that the weight sits differently on me. My goal is to have a healthy BMI, not to look good in tiny clothes. Now, I'm certainly not going to object if I can squeeze back in to my tankini this summer, but my priority isn't to look good for anyone.
I just want to hear my doctor say, "You're at a good weight." Or even better: Nothing at all about it!0 -
This....totally this!If you're not obviously overweight, you're going to get some funny looks and/or comments when you say you're losing weight. That's why I pretty much keep my goals to myself, because the general public just doesn't understand.0 -
I hear you..... I literally get embarrassed when I get dinner with friends or family and I don't get a hefty meal. Sounds stupid but I just don't wanna be made fun of or hear the ' you
Don't need to lose weight' BS.0 -
I have responded that because I'm freakishly tall that the weight sits differently on me. My goal is to have a healthy BMI, not to look good in tiny clothes.
UGH! Me too!! I weigh A LOT! But I don't look like it because I'm 5'9. I weigh 190, and you would honestly never be able to tell. I also hate the up and down look going "where?"
That's when I say, "You haven't seen me naked" and I usually get and "Oh" and that's the end of it.0 -
My husband's mother nurtures with food, so she has a really hard time seeing him lose weight. Is he calling her bad for making him overweight? Is he calling her food bad because he won't eat that kind of food any more? Is that evil wife of his trying to turn him against her? She says he looks good, and she's proud of him, but . . . wouldn't he like something to eat? When is he going to stop losing weight? Isn't he getting too skinny?
Pam0 -
I understand where you are coming from. BUT that's just how people are. Some people can have their guard up because of their own weight circumstances.
I get "made fun of" a lot because I go to the gym like every day. So an organization I am a part of is always razzing me about that and how I'm always dressed up in gym clothes.
Yes, I don't have a lot to lose. But I want to be healthy. That is most important. Also I want to be in good shape before I start having kids. And watching my mother and father grow older with health problems made me see the light.
If I start taking care of myself now, I can live a longer, healthier life with my family and children. It's all about where people's perspectives are coming from and how they perceive you. No one on either end should take it personally.
My close friends and family know why I am working so hard and trying to live a healthy lifestyle. For all those others, it's whatever. Don't judge a book by it's cover.
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I've said that before but its more in response to someone half my size going "Oh I'm so fat" ...really!?!
Also my husband is so offended by me trying though because he has a hard time understanding why I want to lose weight (for me) when he thinks I "look sexy" where I'm at..0 -
I have responded that because I'm freakishly tall that the weight sits differently on me. My goal is to have a healthy BMI, not to look good in tiny clothes.
UGH! Me too!! I weigh A LOT! But I don't look like it because I'm 5'9. I weigh 190, and you would honestly never be able to tell. I also hate the up and down look going "where?"
That's when I say, "You haven't seen me naked" and I usually get and "Oh" and that's the end of it.
That's why I say too! It normally stops them from commenting again. I really think that people don't think about what they say before they say it. And/or they are jealous. I'm the only person at my work who's managed to lose weight last year, and now they all tell me I don't need to lose anymore, or "I'm going to blow away with a stiff wind"... I think it's because they know if they'd kept with it, they would be much slimmer too... I'm not doing it for them though, I'm doing it for me.. so I try to ignore it.0 -
People often get stuck seeing you a certain way, and because most people don't like or don't adjust to change well, they don't respond well when YOU start making changes. It also has a tendency to show a big shiny mirror in the face of their own issues.
It's about THEM. Don't let them make it about YOU. You're doing great, keep at it 0 -
I'm 5"8 and have about 80 pounds to lose..people think I don't bc I am tall. 190 at five-nine probably looks amazing..at my thinnest I was 185..my goal is 175 and my dream is 165! I am one of t hose people who compares myself to everyone and I do feel really awkward when someone much thinner is talking about weight loss. I had to realize everyone has their goals and I just try to encourage them with their goals and hope if they were my friend..they would do the same for me: )0
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I'm 5"8 and have about 80 pounds to lose..people think I don't bc I am tall. 190 at five-nine probably looks amazing..at my thinnest I was 185..my goal is 175 and my dream is 165! I am one of t hose people who compares myself to everyone and I do feel really awkward when someone much thinner is talking about weight loss. I had to realize everyone has their goals and I just try to encourage them with their goals and hope if they were my friend..they would do the same for me: )
lol 190 at 5'9 isn't horrible, but far from amazing! My goal weight is 160-155. THAT would be amazing!!! haha0 -
That is when I tell them that what I want to do with my body is none of their business...0
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If you're not obviously overweight, you're going to get some funny looks and/or comments when you say you're losing weight. That's why I pretty much keep my goals to myself, because the general public just doesn't understand.
This. People have so many issues with themselves, they don't usually want to hear your accomplishments. Live and learn.0 -
I have noticed this too! It seems to bother some people that both you want to lose more and that you try to eat well. Like it has anything to do with anyone else or what they should be doing if you are trying to improve yourself. I say congratulate anyone that is trying to do something for themselves and theirs and those that are happy with where they are! Weight loss and health improvement are personal things that should have nothing to do with what if anything other people are doing!0
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Maybe I'm mis-understanding but I don't know why people get pissed off when people tell them they don't need to lose any more weight, its a compliment. They think you already look good. You should just smile and say thank you.0
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Omg, this post!
I live at home with my parents so they notice how my eating habits have changed and how different I look. This makes them feel guilty as they are overweight themselves, so it puts them off their food and they say like "Oh I'd lose weight but I love eating".
So, I get really frustrated because I still eat the same evening meal as they do, in fact I haven't changed my eating habits all that much so they complain over the fact that I'm losing weight and they're not. It's like they make me feel bad for losing weight.
Ugh.0 -
Depending on the tone of voice, it could be taken as a compliment or a negative criticism. As a compliment, it means that you look good where you are at right now weight-wise. As a negative criticism, it means that you look too skinny.
Of course, it could be just a comment that comes through because of the giver's sense of insecurity about how they look. I often get such things when I have to go out to eat with my family and I am following a vegetarian diet. They are eating porkchops, steak, pie and other ungodly foods and there I sit with my healthy vegetarian meal.
This all reminds me that I will have to put up with this crap when the summer comes and I go visiting relatives. Not something that I want to look forward to since I will be at my lowest weight in over 30 years and back on my strict vegetarian diet.
Makes me bummed out just thinking about it.0 -
I have responded that because I'm freakishly tall that the weight sits differently on me. My goal is to have a healthy BMI, not to look good in tiny clothes.
UGH! Me too!! I weigh A LOT! But I don't look like it because I'm 5'9. I weigh 190, and you would honestly never be able to tell. I also hate the up and down look going "where?"
That's when I say, "You haven't seen me naked" and I usually get and "Oh" and that's the end of it.
THIS!!! I"m 5'9 and a very muscular build. I put on alot of weight with my first pregnancy (eh...90 lbs). So after I had my second I was down to 210lbs and I would say I want to lose 60lbs more... people looked at me like I was crazy. "From WHERE?!" Eh, I'll show you if you want. So now at 169 I don't really have a ideal weight loss goal per say, just that I want to lose one more dress size. But I won't tell a soul that I have 19lbs I would like to lose. 10lbs on me isn't noticable, it isn't even a dress size. Now for my 5'2 sister, that is like a size and a half.
Sometimes I even feel like I have to downplay the more I lose, "Oh it's just because I'm training for this half marathon...I can't eat enough" Ugh.0 -
Good for you! Your success should buoy up your confidence. Don't pay attention to such comments. I agree that it can be distracting, but keep up the good job.0
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If you're not obviously overweight, you're going to get some funny looks and/or comments when you say you're losing weight. That's why I pretty much keep my goals to myself, because the general public just doesn't understand.
Just wanted to chime in as an "obviously overweight" person (it's OK, I know I'm fat) ... trust me, it doesn't make the co-workers any less awkward.
They DO notice when your eating habits change and when you're too sore from boot camp to move, and ESPECIALLY when you mess up ... or they perceive you to be messing up. It's like working with the hypocritical food police. "Should you eat that?" "Are you sure you don't want some?" "I didn't offer you any because you're on a diet." ... and so on. I know I've failed in the past, but that doesn't mean I need you to monitor my diet for me, and it's OK for me to have a cookie once in a while.
And they also try to make it about themselves, but instead of "You must think I look horrible," it's a thinly unveiled, "Well, at least I know I still look/eat/exercise/whatever WAY better than you." Just wait until they don't anymore! :bigsmile: :devil: :bigsmile:0 -
UMM PREACHER <---> CHOIR! Lol
At work people see me looking at the nutrition labels and I get all sorts of questions - if you saw me, I'm by no means overweight, but I want to be a certain size and the doctor says it isn't unhealthy for me to be the size I choose to be, so I want to tell people to leave me alone. Just because I'm not "Precious", doesn't mean I shouldn't make an effort to watch what I eat and stay in shape by working out. Everyone keeps assuming I can eat what I want - ummm no I can't, because if I could, I wouldn't have gained 12+ pounds. HELLOOOOOOO!! lol0 -
I definitely get it. I try not to make it too public because I know some people will be offended because surely if I think I'm fat I must think they are huge or something crazy like that.
I have a little dilema with my neighbors that sort of revolves around that. We usually go to their house to eat on Friday nights, and we are talking southern cooking where butterbeans are cooked with a bacon fat. When I go I feel so awkward eating. I try to keep potions small and not go for seconds but that is almost an insult in a country home. I don't like to say out loud that I'm on a diet. One because I don't want to view it as I diet, I'm trying to train my body to eat normal portion sizes and indulge only in moderation while increasing my physical activity for a more healthy lifestyle. And two, as the smallest female I don't want to insinuate I have negative opinions about anyone elses body.
This also make lunch dates very difficult, its become either decline, risk going somewhere bad, or end up in the "well your the one of a diet so you pick where we eat" situation.
This is a hard enough process as it is, it is only complicated more when you are constently having to defend your decision to do it. And its not like the majority of us here are already in a "normal" BMI range and trying to get uber skinny, just trying to get or stay healthy.0 -
I get the same thing from people. THEN I tell them, well that is what I weighed when we got married and they shut up. I was not skinny by any means when we got married, I was a good size except I wasn't FIT. I'd say something to this effect if you were ever that weight before. If not, then just say you're going for what your Dr. says is good and they'll shut the H**L up! Congrats on your weight loss to date!0
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Because I don't publicly talk about the fact that I'm actively trying to lose weight, what I deal with mostly is people take it as an insult when I don't want to eat their food. I work in a place where people are constantly bringing in cookies and donuts and candy. There's actually a freezer full of just ice cream. People get so offended when I won't eat their donuts or cookies. I usually end up taking one and then throwing it away when I get to my desk just so I don't have to answer a thousand questions.0
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I know, me too. I don't talk about losing weight to others, only my hubby. I just tell others I'm eating right so I can be in shape for running the half marathons this year. When I go to scan a label, I make sure none of my co-workers are around so I don't have to see any eye rolling. That's why this website comes in handy, so many of us in similar situations! :flowerforyou:0
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Yah that happens a lot
The same people go from "Man, you gained weight, eat less". When you are ligther than them : "Man, you skinny, eat more"
ahah0
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