Need help to motivate my mom...

paisley2288
paisley2288 Posts: 913 Member
edited November 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
My mom just turned 50 and weighs almost 300 pounds. I just turned 24 yesterday and I am still single. When I DO find the right guy, I want my mom to be around to watch me get married, give me away, and help raise my children. She doesn't do anything... she just sleeps all day. She is on all kinds of anti-depressants, anxiety medicines, but she is always hounding me about how overweight I am. (I weigh around 325 pounds.) I don't know what to do because she lives two hours away and she won't listen to me when I sit her down and try to tell her how important it is for me to have her in my life. My dad is super healthy, active, and outgoing. My parents divorced when I was very young and I grew up with my mom and developed a lot of her habits. At 24, I am finding that in order to find someone to love me, I need to love myself. I wish my mom could realize that too. Does anybody have any tips for me? I need my mom in my life.

Replies

  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
    Hopefully when she sees the changes in you she will get inspired. Only she can do it for herself.
  • livi_cowgirl
    livi_cowgirl Posts: 198 Member
    You could try taking her to the docs for an MOT. She could be on track for type two diabetes or something worse. Hopefully the doc will scare the weight off her. Good luck. x
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    If she's at you to lose weight then you should propose you both do it together. Cheer each other on. No negativity.

    Ultimatly you can't make someone want it.
  • La1210
    La1210 Posts: 99 Member
    Try taking baby steps to start a daily routine. Make a goal to be up and dressed for a workout by 8 or 9, do this for a week. Then the next goal could be to actually buy a workout DVD an easy one and start working out 2 days or so a week. Also it may be helpful to make out a daily schedule and post it somewhere that is very visible.
  • ludogx87
    ludogx87 Posts: 286 Member
    im in same kind of situation, all you can do is be there for her. does she want to lose weight?
    start making healthier eating choices in the house for the whole family? get her out and about, suggest going places, doesnt have to be exercise but if she is out doing things, cinema shopping it may begin to lift her mood.
    be positive, and sit down and explain your feelings to her. she may want to change but is too embaressed/unwilling to ask for help.
    baby steps x
  • Biggipooh
    Biggipooh Posts: 350
    I admire you for beeing so strong and having a mom, who is such a bad row model for her children. My dad was an alcoholic and I begged him over and over to stop drinking. It cost me a lot of nerves and at one point I just gave up on him. You have to live your life for yourself at this point. If people don't want to change for theirselves, they really don't want it for anybody else.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    All that medicine is crap and just a bandaid for the real issues.
  • Sandra82874
    Sandra82874 Posts: 47
    Here is something else you may try: tell her of all things that she could end up with or maybe even go to the doctor with her and have her checked for diabetic and high blood pressure. Those are two of the most important things to watch for because there are other things that can happen in the body that stems from that and you may even ask the doctor or nurse to make her aware of her chances of having these things. Good luck
  • paisley2288
    paisley2288 Posts: 913 Member
    Thanks everybody.. she does have diabetes but she eats bags of candy and it's hard for me to make healthy choices for the household when I don't live there :( I don't know what to do! It makes me feel guilty to lose weight when she is so depressed and can't find the motivation to do it. My step dad makes jabs at her about how overweight she is ("Look at that belly just hanging there..") and it makes me want to slap him. He makes those comments to me too and sometimes I'm like who the hell are you to say anything, you're not even my dad?! I just hate being overweight and coming from an unhealthy family.
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
    Oh no don't feel guilty for wanting better for yourself. You can't change her ,but you CAN AND SHOULD change things for yourself. I hope to see your progress here on MFP.
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