Working mothers PLEASE HELP!

rebawagner
rebawagner Posts: 199 Member
edited November 9 in Motivation and Support
I am a working mom of 3. I am usually pretty well adjusted to the craziness but the last week or so has been really rough! I have my husband arguing with me over time. He needs me home more, he needs more help with the kids, he needs more help around the house (in his defense he is an amazing husband who does do WAY more than I could ever ask). I feel like he really needs me to step up to the plate more. Then I have my boss who is a total workaholic and doesn’t understand motherhood who is getting on me about “I need to be more committed”, “I need to stay late to finish up loose ends”,” I need to come in this weekend to get ready for whatever”. Needless to say all this STRESS is making me so drained, no time to work out, eating crap just to eat (or comfort eating because I am on the verge of a breakdown, I have started using my crock pot more and preping dinners ahead but I still need MORE TIME … How do other working moms do it? Any advice welcomed!
PS If you are a SINGLE working mother, I think you are AMAZING!!!!!!

Replies

  • emiliewright
    emiliewright Posts: 148 Member
    I am a single working mother, so thank you!!!

    My advice is breath...There are some days I would pay good money for a few extra hours. I know that one thing I live by is taking life a few hours at a time. I mean it, just do what you can and focus on the right now or very near future. (of course this requires a lot of planning, which negates the staying focused on the right now, but bare with me). When you are planning, plan. When you are working, work. When you are excising, exercise.. you get the idea. Granted I only have one child, she is a handful. She is in church, gymnastics, swimming, and behavioral therapy. ON TOP OF THAT, I work full time, go to school full time and umm, somehow make it to the gym and COOK our meals. Some days seem impossible, but with strength from God, some determination and love, you make it day by day. I do LOTS of preparation at night for the next day too, big help!

    Hang in there, your kids are being taught a VERY valuable lesson.
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
    You sound like me! Working mother of 3 here, as well - spent a good portion of last year with my head spinning from the same scenario you just described. And I agree with the PP's adivice: Breath.

    Let yesterday be yesterday, don't beat yourself up over the bad choices, make better choices today. Fit in exercise where you can when you can, it wont' be like this forever. You'll find the balance, and when you do, you'll realize how easy it really is. Finding the balance? Feels impossible. But you'll find it. One step at a time. :flowerforyou:
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    I am also a single mother of 2 (3 and 19 mo), so I can totally relate to the CRAZINESS!! Thanks!

    Like the other poster said, first of all breathe! Stress happens to everyone; it is how you manage it that is more important. You NEED to take atleast 15 mins to yourself everyday even if it is just standing in the shower (this is one thing my counselor has stressed to me time and time again). As mothers, we are ALWAYS giving of ourselves - children, spouse/significant other (if there is one), work, church, hobbies, etc. You NEED time to yourself at some point. If working out, give you that then take like 20 mins to do it. As for the boss, I can't really relate because my boss is very, very understanding since she is a mother herself. She doesn't jump all over me if I can't stay late, have to leave early, calls in, etc. Maybe, you need to have a heart to heart talk with your boss. When someone is a workaholic, it is hard for them to understand from other perspectives but you could try. As for your husband (which is hard for me since I don't have one anymore), you NEEDS you too. I am sure he is absolutely amazing, but they get drained too. Give him atleast 20 mins of your time everyday even if that means just laying in bed after the kids go to bed - it is a partnership which also needs physcial.

    I would be honest with your spouse - be open and tell him how you are feeling. He might not realize it. Come up with a plan and let him know how your boss is acting too. He probably doesn't realize it. Keeping your feelings bottled up won't help (you WILL explode at some point and probably at the wrong person). If you need anything, just PM me. I will help wherever I can. Hang in there - it does get better.
  • zodiw
    zodiw Posts: 9 Member
    Hey Girl! You are not alone and I totally understand how you feel. Well, as you know, I only have Kayla, but I definitely become overwhelmed at times with life If seems to be more intense around that time of the month if you know what I mean :). Here's a word of encouragement for you: You are an amazing woman of God with three beautiful children and a great husband. God will not give you anything you can't handle. This craziness is only for a season and this too shall pass. You are truly blessed!

    My advice to you is keep it simple and get the family involved. We have Kayla in ballet on Saturday mornings. We will only allow her to take 1 extracurricular activity at a time and she has to stick with it for at least 3 months to give it a chance. The 3 month commitment is building character ( Let your yes be yes and your not be no). The 1 activity at a time goes for us as well , this way, it's less overwhelming for all of us. Also, hubby and I alternate in taking her to ballet.

    Have a sit down with your hubby and split up the household duties. Come up with a schedule and alternate taking the kids to practice and if he's open, alternate cooking. I suggest have a dry erase board in the kitchen with all appointments, practices, birthday parties, etc. listed on there. If you want to get creative, color code all family events, work functions, and each individual appointment. We have this in our kitchen and its a HUGE help. It's available for everyone to see, so there's no question as to what's going on for the month.

    When you have your sit down with hubby, talk about your goals (personal goals, goals as a couple, goals as a family) and write it down. For example, if your personal goal is to lose X amount of weight, share that with hubby & agree on the days and time for you to exercise. Write it down on the dry erase. Also include a date night with hubby and girl time at least once a month for you & your girlfriends. Hubby should also write down his guy time on the board.

    Plan your meals for the week prior to grocery shopping. Pick a day to get organized for the week (my day is Sunday) and iron all of the school uniforms and work clothes. Prep a many lunch snacks as possible as well as lunches for the week. Take 30 minutes every night to pack lunches for the following day. Have hubby and kids help with this. In my household, hubby preps lunches and I iron.

    Most importantly, spend alone time with God in the morning, preferably before everyone gets up and the craziness begins. Even if its just 10 minutes. Ask Him to order your steps, give you wisdom, guidance and strength.

    Sorry this is so long. I tried calling you, but for what ever reason, my call wasn't going through. this works for us. I can tell you when we don't do this, it's total chaos in the house and I get very cranky. Not pretty. Well, I hope this helps :)
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