Dissapointing--How long did it take before

fishndad
fishndad Posts: 102 Member
edited November 9 in Motivation and Support
Someone noticed you were losing wieght?? I've lost both wieght & size & saw 2 aunts & uncles, 4 cousins, & some other people yesterday that I haven't seen since I've lost wieght, & not a one of them noticed, & if they did, didn't say anything. I've seen it on the scales & in the mirror, & a lot times, you're the most critical of yourself. I know I'm not doing it for them, but it would be nice if SOMEBODY else nothiced. Not even anyone I work with has said anything. What a bummer!!! In 2 1/2 months only one person has said anything. Well today is another day, I'm still on goal, & will continue to work on it untill I'm where I want to be regardless of anyone else. I feel better, healtier, have more energy, know I'm burning more calories b/c I'm building more mucsle all the time, everthing is better as you all know, but it would be nice if the people I'm closest to would notice too. Just would provide more motivation for me. Someday it will will happen I know............
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    A lot of people, especially family, are cautious about any references to someone's weight. It can cause bad feelings, no matter how tactfully you bring up weight.

    It's not a bad thing. They are being respectful.

    Generally someone's weight is not considered safe, polite coversation.
  • Don't feel bad, No one has noticed the weight I have lost since before starting MFP or even after. But once you reach your goal, if they didn't notice before they definitely will by then. Also weight is a sensitive issue for many people so many choose to ignore rather than comment. Good Luck to youand keep on going!
  • lindalou4850
    lindalou4850 Posts: 217 Member
    Don't be discouraged. I lost 50 lbs and I have a daughter that has not said one word about my weight loss. I went from a sz 16 to an 8. I think they might be jealous!!
    Congratulations on your loss.Keep up the good work!!
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    Keep it up. It took months before people noticed on me, probably because I was still wearing my old clothes that hid my body. Keep the faith, they will notice sometime when you least expect it.
  • jennetsullivan
    jennetsullivan Posts: 37 Member
    I probably lost 45 pounds before someone said something to me about it, and even then it was very casual. Keep it up - remember you're doing this for YOU! As long as you see the changes and feel good then that's the most important part.
  • nobody has noticed my weight loss yet either (have dropped 2 dress sizes)

    we just gotta keep on keeping on hun
  • Gargwin82
    Gargwin82 Posts: 152 Member
    A lot of people, especially family, are cautious about any references to someone's weight. It can cause bad feelings, no matter how tactfully you bring up weight.

    It's not a bad thing. They are being respectful.

    Generally someone's weight is not considered safe, polite coversation.

    Completely Agree with this. I dislike stating when someone has lost weight because I fear they may not have. I know I have lots of people tell me I've lost weight since they saw me last. Uh no I went from 189lbs to 232lbs since the last time I saw you. I hide weight really well, and its discouraging when people comment on it and they're wrong.
  • kwest_4_fitness
    kwest_4_fitness Posts: 820 Member
    Show us some pics here and we'll let you know!! Sometimes people just don't know how to say that you look good without inferring that you didn't look so good before.
  • pinkyslippers
    pinkyslippers Posts: 188 Member
    A lot of people, especially family, are cautious about any references to someone's weight. It can cause bad feelings, no matter how tactfully you bring up weight.

    It's not a bad thing. They are being respectful.

    Generally someone's weight is not considered safe, polite coversation.

    I agree. I bet they have noticed and just don't like to say anything. If you bring it up they will know that it is a 'safe' subject to talk about! Don't be disheartened and keep up the great work! :flowerforyou:
  • AllergicToExercise
    AllergicToExercise Posts: 436 Member
    It's an awkward topic so I guess some steer away from it entirely to be on the safe side! Also I agree with the clothing - have you bought smaller more fitted clothing? Sometimes people tend to keep their bigger clothes for a while then it makes it harder to see the results of their hard work.

    The fact remains that you know you've lost weight and are doing a great job and if others acknowledge you then that's an added bonus. :smile:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Focus on doing this for yourself and how you feel. You aren't doing this for compliments, so please don't worry.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    Ive lost inches and pounds and wearing clothes i couldnt fit into before and the bf hasnt mentioned a word. Dont sweat it. Just feel good :D

    Also a friend got plastic surgery on her face and i didnt notice. I knew there was something different but didnt know what even tho the before and after shots were pretty extreme
  • Happyhealthyliz90
    Happyhealthyliz90 Posts: 63 Member
    People really started to notice when I lost 35lbs but befor that I think people were a little weary to say anything lol
  • elliott062907
    elliott062907 Posts: 1,508 Member
    who cares if they don't notice. I was that way. I have lost 60+ lbs and I never hear crap from any of my blood family. Only my real family/(friends) notice. They love me and don't expect anything of me. Do it for yourself and the heck w/ the rest!!!!!! Worrying about family?? Will only make you less likely to achieve your goals!!!!!
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    Some people won't notice, especially if they see you often. I've lost over 30 lbs and no one says anything. I tend to lose the weight evenly, and I have a lot more to lose (80-100). So I'm wearing smaller clothing and have lost significant number of inches, but it's gradual.

    All I can say is embrace your loss, and do something different so you will mark your success.
  • GlenWalterGal
    GlenWalterGal Posts: 85 Member
    Don't worry about it, same thing happened to me last year when I lost weight. When I asked my daughter, my sisters in law and my cousins at a family function they said that they noticed but were afraid if they mentionned it, that it would mean they thought of me as fat before. They just did not want to hurt my feelings by mentionning I had been fatter :-)
  • sarabig2fit
    sarabig2fit Posts: 274 Member
    i've lost over 100lbs from my heaviest weight and 80 since last march/april-ish. my grandma mentioned to my dad that i'd lost a lot of weight.. when i saw my dad, he said he couldn't tell.. maybe it's because they've seen you at all weights? i dunno.. but some people can't tell.
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
    For me, it took about 30lbs before people noticed...now I seem to hear it every few lbs...
  • cchardt
    cchardt Posts: 21 Member
    No one has really noticed me either but like someone else said, I am still wearing the clothes because I am too cheap to go and get ones that fit. I have gone to thrift stores and such but it is what it is. I know where I want to be and who cares that other people don't notice. As long as you can see the difference and feel the difference that is all that matters!!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I've lost 50 pounds and gone from size 18 to almost a 10, but some people don't say anything. It's hard because weight is a touchy subject for many people. As nice as it is to hear we look good, we have to realize all the health benefits we've gained and see the progress we've made.
  • Silverstar46
    Silverstar46 Posts: 187 Member
    I hit the 40lb mark today and FINALLY am a shirt size lower (soon to be a pant size as well, my dumb *kitten* is too big!) and today I wore my brand new shirt and a tight pair of dress slacks.

    NOT ONE WORD from over a hundred people that see me every week. I want to cry about it sometimes, but then I shrug and think, "When I'm skinny then they will HAVE to notice!" haaha
  • GettinMyLifeBck
    GettinMyLifeBck Posts: 201 Member
    I think it depends on your height and current weight. I am 6ft and my starting weight here was 390-398 and I lost about 45 pounds before people could notice. I know it is discouraging but keep in mind you are doing this for self not anyone else.
  • A lot of people, especially family, are cautious about any references to someone's weight. It can cause bad feelings, no matter how tactfully you bring up weight.

    It's not a bad thing. They are being respectful.

    Generally someone's weight is not considered safe, polite coversation.

    Yes, this.

    Just as (most) people don't find it appropriate to comment when someone has gained weight (well, aside from my grandmother), most won't comment when you've lost it... Congrats, though, on your weight loss to-date!
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
    Some people really are just clueless and don't notice such things. I tend to be that way, unless they draw my attention to it. Too many people have commented on my weight loss following a major gain. It's all relative. Just focus on how good you feel, and those few that do take notice sooner than others!
    I find it takes about 30 pounds, on average, for most people to notice. But it also depends on how much you have to lose! You can feel disappointed, but don't get frustrated. It will come in time!
  • beckylawrence70
    beckylawrence70 Posts: 752 Member
    b/c sometimes your weight loss seems like alot to you, and it is, but others don't even notice until it's a substancial loss......even though it is to you......
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
    Maybe family and friends are a little wary because they are not sure how to word their compliments in order to avoid offending sometimes, but in the meantime, get your congrats from the mfp fam - CONGRATS on all of your hard work and droppin' it like it's hot - WOOT!!!:flowerforyou:
  • kristarablue
    kristarablue Posts: 702 Member
    Oh baby, it took about 75 - 80 pounds before people really started to say something. The people that noticed early noticed, but for the majority of people it took a really long time, just remember your doing this for yourself and only for you. Peaple noticing is awesome, but carry on my friend, it will come. I remember at Christmas 2010, I was 40 pounds down and no one noticed, I went to the family Christmas thinking people were going to say something and I was so very hurt when they did not, but thats ok...keep pluggin away..it will come
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Someone noticed you were losing wieght?? I've lost both wieght & size & saw 2 aunts & uncles, 4 cousins, & some other people yesterday that I haven't seen since I've lost wieght, & not a one of them noticed, & if they did, didn't say anything. I've seen it on the scales & in the mirror, & a lot times, you're the most critical of yourself. I know I'm not doing it for them, but it would be nice if SOMEBODY else nothiced. Not even anyone I work with has said anything. What a bummer!!! In 2 1/2 months only one person has said anything. Well today is another day, I'm still on goal, & will continue to work on it untill I'm where I want to be regardless of anyone else. I feel better, healtier, have more energy, know I'm burning more calories b/c I'm building more mucsle all the time, everthing is better as you all know, but it would be nice if the people I'm closest to would notice too. Just would provide more motivation for me. Someday it will will happen I know............

    Honestly I could care less if anyone noticed... especially family.

    You just need to continue focusing on yourself and not set your mind up for stressful failure (cortisol) over people not seeing the loss on you..... its just not worth it.
  • ojell
    ojell Posts: 748 Member
    I know what you mean! I'm kind of dealing with that too! I've only gone down one pant size, and a couple of ladies noticed, but I guess maybe I just haven't lost enough for the I want to notice to actually notice.
  • For me it took a little over a month, about 22 lbs and almost as many inches before anybody said anything, but I wear baggy clothes (because I can't afford new ones) and generally people dont see me without a sweatshirt on.
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