Question for the men

UsedToBeHusky
UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
edited November 9 in Chit-Chat
Does playing "hard to get" really work on men? If a girl gives you all kinds of signals that she likes you, and you throw a few back, but she turns you down on an offer... like say a ride home... would you think she is not into you or would you think she is playing "hard to get"?
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Replies

  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    I think it's incredibly annoying. Not something I look for in a partner.
  • Goldenwoof
    Goldenwoof Posts: 535 Member
    Not a fan. I prefer a woman who is into being real and honest. If you're interested in a guy, tell him so. Being honest and direct is sexy. If I wanna play games, they're gonna involve boards and dice. :)
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    I think it's incredibly annoying. Not something I look for in a partner.

    yeah I am with him on this. but some guys dig the chase and enjoy the challenge.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Well... it really wasn't intentional. I had my reasons for turning him down for the ride. It really had nothing to do with playing games. But I was scared that turning him down for the ride might make him think I wasn't interested or playing hard to get.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    Eh... not really for me. Im not interested in someone who is trying to play games. Make me work to be with you, but make me work once we are in a relationship, not just trying to date
  • mrlazy1967
    mrlazy1967 Posts: 285 Member
    I think playing hard to get only works in the movies, in real life the guy will think you don't like him.
  • lookslikeyoda
    lookslikeyoda Posts: 161 Member
    It feels like a punch in the face when you get turned down by someone who you think (thought) likes you.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    He offered me a ride to my house which he knew was walking distance... I mean seriously. That one little "no thank you" just ruined everything.
  • RedHotChiliSteppers
    RedHotChiliSteppers Posts: 75 Member
    This will only make us play with your mind... and that in part is prob not a good idea!

    For example... I know this girl bc she goes to med school with my buddy. Shes pretty cute, and we get a long well (we only hung out one time before this). Any who, she facebooked me, and we discussed playing tennis soon. So I messaged her my number.

    I saw her this weekend again at the bars and we had a good time. We decided to play tennis the same weekend, so I asked for her number and she told me she could just message me on facebook... haha what the hell!

    I just laughed it off and was like ok then crazy.

    She then texted me her number yesterday! You ladies are crazy!
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    I think it's incredibly annoying. Not something I look for in a partner.

    Thats what my bf says too xD He said if a girl plays hard to get a lot of guys will just walk away and not waste their time
  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
    The confidence level of men is generally lower than you would think.

    More than likely he is receiving the message that you are not into him.

    Be direct. Even then, it will not be clear to some. You might have to be direct more than once.
  • junyr
    junyr Posts: 416 Member
    I'm not a fan of "hard to get", but for safety reasons I wouldn't have taken the ride home either, especially if you just just met him recently.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    If you choose to waste my time and play games I will choose to find someone else more worthy of mine.
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    Guys can get intrigued by a slightly standoffish girl, but the "playing hard to get" business just smacks of game playing.
    And we just aren't that complicated...
  • Okieace
    Okieace Posts: 56
    No, playing hard to get isn't attractive and it doesn't make a guy interested. However, not knowing the guy, yourself, or the situation, you was probably best passing up a ride from the guy, unless you know and trust him really well.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
    If you choose to waste my time and play games I will choose to find someone else more worthy of mine.

    ^ This. I am too old for and don't have time for games, drama, and or bull****.
  • nilesbollinger
    nilesbollinger Posts: 80 Member
    Definitely a turn off for me. I hate games. Just be real and straight forward IMO.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I think you are all taking this out of context. This is only the second time I have really been around this individual (which still kind of makes him a stranger). Signals went back and forth all night. He offered me a ride, but it wasn't far and I had my daughter with me. I politely turned him down. I'm not trying to play games. I just didn't feel it was appropriate. I just thought he might perceive it that way.
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
    there is being hard to get and then their is being a b!t#h. however men have forgotten the gentle act of seduction. a woman needs to be wooed and pursued. they don't want to be treated like another notch in the bed post.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
    I think you are all taking this out of context. This is only the second time I have really been around this individual (which still kind of makes him a stranger). Signals went back and forth all night. He offered me a ride, but it wasn't far and I had my daughter with me. I politely turned him down. I'm not trying to play games. I just didn't feel it was appropriate. I just thought he might perceive it that way.

    Just be you. It's simple. If you're interested show him.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    First I would figure I had read the signs wrong and really made a fool of myself.

    Second I would probably be annoyed after a while if on reflection it seemed I was just being screwed with.

    Games are for kids on the playground.
  • RedHotChiliSteppers
    RedHotChiliSteppers Posts: 75 Member
    what kind of games we talking about too?
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Well... it really wasn't intentional. I had my reasons for turning him down for the ride. It really had nothing to do with playing games. But I was scared that turning him down for the ride might make him think I wasn't interested or playing hard to get.

    Then take the initiative and contact him to let him know you are interested,the ball is now in your court. :smile:
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    there is being hard to get and then their is being a b!t#h. however men have forgotten the gentle act of seduction. a woman needs to be wooed and pursued. they don't want to be treated like another notch in the bed post.

    Sounds like more games to me. If I need a playbook and an offensive coordinator to date a woman, I'll stick to football.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I'm not a fan of "hard to get", but for safety reasons I wouldn't have taken the ride home either, especially if you just just met him recently.

    He's a friend of a friend. He helped move some furniture to my house a little over a year ago. And that is the last time I saw him before last night. My friend has talked a lot about us both back and forth. If my daughter hadn't been with me, I probably would have rode with him. But I don't want to teach my daughter to be too forward with men, or to accept rides from people she doesn't know well.
  • wannabehealthy1980
    wannabehealthy1980 Posts: 55
    I'd say bye and that would be it.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I think you are all taking this out of context. This is only the second time I have really been around this individual (which still kind of makes him a stranger). Signals went back and forth all night. He offered me a ride, but it wasn't far and I had my daughter with me. I politely turned him down. I'm not trying to play games. I just didn't feel it was appropriate. I just thought he might perceive it that way.

    You're fine. Don't read too much into it. You haven't "blown things" with this guy and he's not cutting up pictures of you or anything (unless he's a psycho, which he might be).

    Next time you talk to him just thank him for the offer, say it was very sweet, but you had your daughter with you and it was a short walk. He'll understand if he's at all worth your time.
  • Whaleluvr
    Whaleluvr Posts: 156 Member
    I didn't listen to the title, sorry! I think, if you really like the man, GO FOR IT! Don't wait around for him to ask, it will never happen......1 little ride turned down, shouldn't be a big deal! You could have said "NO" because if your mom saw you pull up in a car with a man, she might flip out!!!! Who knows the circumstances!!!! If you WANT it....................GO GET IT!!!! DON'T WAIT!! :wink:
  • Danpellizzari
    Danpellizzari Posts: 130
    If you like the guy there's no reason to play hard to get. Keeping that in mind there's nothing wrong with taking things as slow as you want though. The relationship has to be beneficial to both people or there is no reason to stay in it.
  • timmymon
    timmymon Posts: 304 Member
    I don't think turning down a ride home is necessarily playing hard to get. I like when women are independent and when they do not just throw themselves at guys simply because they think they are cute or have a crush on them or something. Making somebody try a little harder is not going to ruin anything. That being said, I hate when people play games. There is a fine line when it comes to this! I think once you ask yourself if you are playing games you probably are, go with your intuition and everything will be good!
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