lost 25lbs, still single..

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  • nygiantschick
    nygiantschick Posts: 289 Member
    VD is just another day on the calendar! If you are home alone then go out. Get all dressed up FOR YOURSELF, put on your best shoes FOR YOURSELF, put on your best perfume FOR YOURSELF. grab a couple of your BFF's and go out and have a great time!!! The other times of the year get out of the house and do something to meet people: all kinds of people. How do you expect to meet interesting people if YOU are not an interesting person? Yesterday was the Superbowl (in the U.S- I don't know where you are geographically),and that would have been a great time to go out to sports restaurant with your BFF's and watch the game with the guys. Some men ike chicks who are into sports-idk. What are your hobbies? take a class or join a group where you will meet other people. You're a pretty lady- be confident and strong and get OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! Don't let an overly marketed day on the calendar get you down!!!

    Oh yeah: and it's not about just meeting guys either. One of my good friends is taking a class and one of the females in her class introduced her to her brother and they have been hitting it off quite nicely!!
  • jsdoane
    jsdoane Posts: 1
    The best reply I can give is this... Stop looking ... just be open. Enjoy yourself. Don't just sit at home, get out and do stuff that YOU enjoy. Be happy with you. Friendship and love will come along and knock you in the face when you least expect it... and at that point, you'll be happy with yourself, and confident, and you'll be irresistable to the one who's meant to be yours!!!

    PS... Last year, I married my High-School crush, after 15-years apart. :-)
  • jltaylor81
    jltaylor81 Posts: 1
    This is sooo true...I've been in a relationship my entire adult life...I'm still young mind you, but 9 and-a-half years of my life. I'm now single and have the same doubts and fears as everyone else; it's been about one year of the single life. I do get lonely, and sometimes wish I had someone to go home to, yeah, but being able to do what I want when I want...priceless :) I am just starting to figure out who I am again as an individual and working on myself spiritually, and loosing weight and getting into shape has never felt better..Remember life doesn't have a remote. You have to get up and change it yourself. :)
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    If the fridge is a temptation, flee the house! I don't care if you hit up the mall (stay away from the food court) or just go for a nice brisk walk. Sitting there and thinking about not eating is only going to lead to eating. It's all about diversionary tactics. Get your mind off food and maybe have some fun at the same time.
  • xosmsox
    xosmsox Posts: 119
    Being single is a gift. You are free. You are young and in the prime of life. Now go out there and see who you can help out. Volunteer. Lead a youth group. Take courses. Learn. Take care of yourself spiritually. Don't let work take up all your time and energy. Build a life for yourself.
    ^^this, love would shortly follow
  • dippystick
    dippystick Posts: 168 Member
    My other son is in a coma in a nursing home so he doesn't know he's alone.

    Geez. That kind of trumps everything else, I think. So sorry about that. I know it would be easier for you to cope if you had someone to lean on, and I hope that comes along for you soon. Also, I hope your son comes out of it and makes a full recovery.

    Thanks, but unfortunately he never will. He will have been in this coma/vegitative state for 12 years in May. His friend was playing with a loaded pistol and shot him on the night before he was to graduate high school.

    There are some things happening to him now that leads me to believe at some point this year we will be unplugging him for the last time. He has a feeding tube. I sat with him about 5 hours yesterday. He has a very bad cold and an infection between 2 of his toes. We don't treat with antibiotics for anything anymore. Someday one infection will get bad enough the suffering will end for all of us and there will finally be closure.

    I don't think I'll ever find anyone. This is kind of hard for most people to handle, so I go it alone.

    What a horrid thing to have to deal with any day of the year! I'm sorry you have had to deal with this for 12 years. You must be mentally and emotionally exhausted. Have you considered organ donation? I know that many people have religious views that prevent donation. I apologize if that is the case and I upset you further by mentioning but I know some families that have been in similar situations (my cousin died at 16 although he was only in a coma for 4 weeks following a car accident) and being able to have a part of their family live on and save someone else has very much soothed them. Kind Regards, Deedra

    He's in the position he's in now because he wanted to be a donor. He was gone by the time emergency help arrived. They revived him enough to get him to the hospital. Their main goal was to save donor parts. He died 3x's that day. He managed to after 2 weeks get to where he was breathing on his own, but that is all he does on his own. He's been in a coma too long now to be an organ donor. I'm thinking of donating his body to the local med school so he can still be the donor he wanted to be. And he can help someone else become the good nurse/doctor he always dreamed of being, but can't.
  • anulle2009
    anulle2009 Posts: 580 Member
    Being single is a gift. You are free. You are young and in the prime of life. Now go out there and see who you can help out. Volunteer. Lead a youth group. Take courses. Learn. Take care of yourself spiritually. Don't let work take up all your time and energy. Build a life for yourself.

    I have to agree with the above. I am married with one child, we never really celebrate Vday which I am fine with. But honestly there are moments in time i miss being single and on the go!
  • Hanablu2
    Hanablu2 Posts: 134 Member
    I was single for years, years until I decided to get busy with my own life! Occupy your time with friends, movies, go to online dating sites, even if you don't get many dates, it will definitely keep you busy and it's flattering sometimes. Find something you love then find a group for it. I love the Korean language and culture so I found a meet up group in my area and met some cool people. When your life is active and busy before you know it, that special guy comes along to compliment your already satisfied life. You are most attractive when you are already happy and fulfilled in the life you created for yourself. Find a meet up group for something you love (google meet up groups in your area then put in a search for what you want to do) get busy and good luck!
  • rebeccawalker1982
    rebeccawalker1982 Posts: 117 Member
    Well if it makes you feel any better, I am married and we do not make a big deal out of the day. Restaurants are too crowded, movies are too crowded, baby sitters are few and far between and up the prices. We go out to eat at least once a month and rent movies via mail from blockbuster so to make a big deal out of 1 day just doesn’t make sense. We are the same way with our birthdays....we just have one big party and hardly anybody even knows its our birthdays (both bdays are in December)

    Yes I know how you feel though…It does suck when you are single to have people the next day ask “well what did you get…..” Or to see people posting on facebook or where ever, pictures of what they got and have to tell everybody about their date.
  • brandyosu
    brandyosu Posts: 257 Member
    Back in the day, I had a friend who threw a Love Sucks party for singleton friends and that was fun. But honestly, being single this time of year never bothered me. And now I suppose it's a good thing I don't buy into the V-Day hype because my husband doesn't either!
  • awoodwaring
    awoodwaring Posts: 90 Member
    I agree with PP...go do something fun. I used my single years to volunteer for recreation organizations for disabled people. I learned to be a white water rafting guide, cross country ski guide and downhill ski guide (all for people with various disabilities). I was definitely out of the house doing great things for my mind and body and the community. No time to get lonely!
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
    Have you tried Match.com? I had great experiences with it and fabulous dates. You just meet in a public place. I will probably try again, but frankly, at my age??? I did it in my 30's, 40's and 50's. My problem was I kept going back to my ex BF. Big Mistake.

    Good Luck.
  • Frozenmango
    Frozenmango Posts: 207 Member
    It's not about how much you way, it's about how confident you are. You could be a perfect size 4 and be GORGEOUS.....but it you don't have the confidence or attitude to back it up, no one will be attracted to you. Confidence is sexy.

    THIS! I've seen women double my size with handsome, loving attentive men in their lives. It's not about your weight, it's about your self confidence and openness to a relationship/love. If you don't feel worthy of love 25lbs heavier, its not going to change with weight loss. There are supermodels that can't get or maintain relationships.

    You're a desirable person no matter what your weight, and once you own that, you'll start beating men off with a stick! Like it was said above, confidence is sexy, no matter what the packaging!
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
    He's in the position he's in now because he wanted to be a donor. He was gone by the time emergency help arrived. They revived him enough to get him to the hospital. Their main goal was to save donor parts. He died 3x's that day. He managed to after 2 weeks get to where he was breathing on his own, but that is all he does on his own. He's been in a coma too long now to be an organ donor. I'm thinking of donating his body to the local med school so he can still be the donor he wanted to be. And he can help someone else become the good nurse/doctor he always dreamed of being, but can't.

    While the loss is hard, helping someone else gain the skills to save the lives he couldn't is such a beautiful legacy to give your son.
  • cherigurl
    cherigurl Posts: 184 Member
    I'm single again with 6 kids. 5 of my kids all have significant others, including children still at home. My other son is in a coma in a nursing home so he doesn't know he's alone. I'm the only one in the family who is alone. I get really lonely especially this time of year. My work schedule (overnights) makes it hard to have friends. But such is life. I guess that's why I come here from time to time.

    OMG you just BROKE my heart, :brokenheart:
  • teri1956
    teri1956 Posts: 221 Member
    When I was married, it sometimes felt like I was alone. And then I stopped buying into the "Hallmark" hype. It helped. Commercialism, again, fuels feelings of emptiness, disappointment, and inadequacy.

    Finding love within myself for myself was an important step in realizing that loving myself was as critical as the love I have for others.

    Here is a link to some of the stories associated with St. Valentine/Valentinus:
    http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day
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