no idea how to do this safely. . . .

Making a lifestyle change is not an easy thing to do. It doesn't matter if you have 15 or 150 lbs to lose, change is change. The most important thing is your determination to succeed. Our minds are very powerful and only you have the power to control you and your actions. There is a healthy balance with food and exercise. It may take some time, but you will get there. Following the plan set forth on MFP will work, barring any medical conditions. It's hard, I absolutely LOVE food. I love to cook it, smell it, eat it, I even sometimes dream of what I'm making for dinner the next night. Portion control is key. I have found I can still eat out at the pizza restaurant and stay within my calorie goals. You will have to make some real changes though. It starts with simple substitutions, brown rice versus white, whole grain pasta over regular. Get a digital food scale, I found mine on ebay really cheap. What a great thing it is. I'd be happy to share recipes andother suggestions with you. Welcome and we are all here to support you in your life changing journey!

Maybe try making a small change and getting it down, and then make another, and so on. Example - quit drinking soda and switch to water. Then pick another thing and add it... Since you've only been doing dramatic changes, see if doing small ones will help.

I started by just loading the plate differently. Finding lotsa stuff that I liked that was low-cal and just filling up on that.

Here's the biggest adjustment I made,,,

Dinner before smart eating:
Ton o' spaghetti with sauce & 3 huge meatballs
Big slice of Garlic-butter bread
nibble of steamed broccoli
A little salad smothered in bleu cheese dressing

Now that's delicious and a great birthday treat if you can stand it, but if you eat like that every day the post office will assign your butt it's own zip code.

So,,,,,, dinner now:
A modest serving of whole grain spaghetti with sauce spiked with big chunks of eggplant and browned chix breast.
A good nibble of chewy baguette bread
Big serving of broccoli
Nice big salad w/lite ranch dressing on the side.

As you can see, the food's not really that different. The biggest diff is how I load the plate. The second dinner is no less tasty than the first, and quite filling and satisfying,,, and it's far far lighter - less than half the calories actually.

You'll get the hang of it. As you cook and eat and log meals you'll learn what's good and what's not and what you like and what you don't. Whatever you do - do not skip meals and sit around miserable. If you go a little over today that's fine. This isn't a sprint, it's not even a marathon, it's a permanent change to the way you eat and exercise and live. If it's miserable you won't be able to stick with it, so learn to take care of yourself in a way that works for you.

You'll get it - you'll do it - you are in control and you can do anything (and be any size) you want to be!

Welcome aboard.

Commit to measuring and logging everything you eat for a specific time frame. After you start really looking at what your eating I think you'll be surprised and then you can target what you really want to eat and what's not worth the calories. There's some web sites where you can enter your recipes and get an overall calorie count for you dishes. I highly suggest you do this for your favorites.