Hmmm....comfort starving...

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DancingYogini
DancingYogini Posts: 377
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok, I know this might be a weird question, but I know that a lot of people comfort eat, but what about those that comfort starve? I was just discussing this with my husband, and I fall into the latter category. Under stressful situations, I just don't eat, and I know a lot of people do the opposite. It is not that I am into starving myself, I like to eat,!! But, when I really am under a lot of stress I stop eating, which in a weird way, comforts me or eases my tension. I find that people get up in arms when anyone mentions starving themselves, but except in stressful situation, I eat normally. Are there any other people out there that do same?

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  • tierra85
    tierra85 Posts: 300 Member
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    im the same way! not so much stressed.. i can handle it but when i get upset or anxious i completely lose my appetite.
  • blh_1010
    blh_1010 Posts: 284 Member
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    I do that...well sometimes depends on the type of stress...if something traumatic has happened I don't eat (I'm a control freak and when that traumatic thing is out of my control I stress out about it and morn or deal with it)...if it is with homework I stress eat...but then again if it is stress dealing with work I can't eat...and I have had to force myself to eat a few times when I have been overly stressed out. It's not that I don't want to eat...it's that I feel like I can't eat...like that knot in my stomach from being worried about something fills me up inside.
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
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    i do. in times of sorrow, i comfort starve. when my dad died in late may, when my grandma died in august, and now my husband's grandfather passed away today (meaning i will comfort starve for a week or so after his funeral). :( i just have no hunger for food.
  • sngnyrslp
    sngnyrslp Posts: 315 Member
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    For a really long time, my mom ate when she was upset or unhappy and ended up weighing almost 300 pounds. She lost all the weight and somewhere along the line she became like you, someone who loses their appetite or doesn't eat when stressed or upset. Honestly, I think it's the healthier of the two. If it were me, I'd rather lose my appetite than eat when I'm not hungry. It's a lot easier to keep track of what you're not eating than what you are eating! Unless you're stressed or upset all the time, I don't think it's a problem.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
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    I do the comfort starving thing. I have since I was a teen. Get stressed with too much to do and forget to eat, headaches, body aches, tired, and general *****iness. Yo yo diet in there too. 30 years of doing so brought me here. Sometimes I still have to set a timer to remind myself to eat. So far so good.
  • gillleeman
    gillleeman Posts: 397 Member
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    Yep lose my appetite when upset or under stress. Keep asking my husband to leave me for a month then I can lose the last 5lbs that I'm struggling with LOL. I must add though what ever I lose always comes back on again.
  • Maggie1960
    Maggie1960 Posts: 322
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    I'm the same - if I'm anxious about something, the knot in my stomach stops me from being hungry. But I haven't had an awful lot of anxiety in my life, hence my need to lose 50lbs!:bigsmile:
  • chriscuts
    chriscuts Posts: 58
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    i do. in times of sorrow, i comfort starve. when my dad died in late may, when my grandma died in august, and now my husband's grandfather passed away today (meaning i will comfort starve for a week or so after his funeral). :( i just have no hunger for food.

    so sorry to hear of your loss...xx take care.
  • LainMac
    LainMac Posts: 412 Member
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    Yup, when things are really bad, I have no appetite either.
  • DancingYogini
    DancingYogini Posts: 377
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    i do. in times of sorrow, i comfort starve. when my dad died in late may, when my grandma died in august, and now my husband's grandfather passed away today (meaning i will comfort starve for a week or so after his funeral). :( i just have no hunger for food.

    I am so very sorry for all of your losses :cry:
  • DancingYogini
    DancingYogini Posts: 377
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    I do the comfort starving thing. I have since I was a teen. Get stressed with too much to do and forget to eat, headaches, body aches, tired, and general *****iness. Yo yo diet in there too. 30 years of doing so brought me here. Sometimes I still have to set a timer to remind myself to eat. So far so good.

    That is me also!! People are always asking me, "how can you forget to eat?" But, if I am super stressed or busy even, it just doesn't enter my mind to eat. I will sometimes look at the clock and it will be 2:00pm, and I haven't even eaten breakfast! I am trying to develop a healthier relationship with food, and this site is helping a lot. Logging my food has really forced me to eat at proper intervals, and to avoid skipping meals. I never ate breakfast before I found this site, now I do daily. I like routine and structure, and this place is perfect for both :smile:
  • DancingYogini
    DancingYogini Posts: 377
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    For a really long time, my mom ate when she was upset or unhappy and ended up weighing almost 300 pounds. She lost all the weight and somewhere along the line she became like you, someone who loses their appetite or doesn't eat when stressed or upset. Honestly, I think it's the healthier of the two. If it were me, I'd rather lose my appetite than eat when I'm not hungry. It's a lot easier to keep track of what you're not eating than what you are eating! Unless you're stressed or upset all the time, I don't think it's a problem.

    I am glad to hear that she lost all of the weight :smile: I am not stressed or upset all of the time, which is good. I feel like food addiction also come in the form of not eating. The comfort of not eating eases the stress in me, like the comfort of eating eases it in others. So, I think both are not healthy, but yes, I guess it is easier to lose weight. Most of the time I am a normal eater, no issues at all...but any stressors, and they don't have to be big ones or life altering ones, cause my appetite to disappear completely. I am glad to see that I am not alone here !
  • kerrymh
    kerrymh Posts: 912 Member
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    I know alot of people that fall into this group. Its just a way of dealing with stress..and some people eat and some don't. I used to eat..I actually tend to forget to eat now when in stressful situations. when my apt building caught fire in March and I was displaced I forgot to eat all day.. regretted it and was starving later but usually my first reaction would be chips and chocolate. So I'm glad to have made the switch.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    yup, it's a control issue. When you feel like you can't control your surroundings (I.E. death in some cases) your body reacts by engaging in behavior that it CAN control. For many it's binge eating, for others it's cutting themselves or inflicting some other type of bodily harm, for even others it's doing extreme activities, and for you, it sounds very likely that you're using starvation as a substitute for control. It's something to be aware of as these types of behaviors can become worse if left unchecked.

    But being aware of it is a big step. That's a good thing. Identifying it is the first step to controlling it, another step is to actively deal with the emotions that cause the behavior.
  • lena128
    lena128 Posts: 10
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    I googled "comfort starving" and this is the first thing I saw. I thought I'd bump it and see what people had to say now. I'm someone who eats out of boredom, stress, being upset, basically anything that is off putting. I almost want to find a way to train myself to have the opposite reaction. I know that doesn't sound healthy but I have never had a hard time not eating enough. I'm pretty sure the over eating came ever since I became conscious of what I was eating, but even before I never had issues with forgetting to eat. Whenever I overeat because of the aforementioned it's in addition to my daily intake and it really just upsets me more and so the cycle goes. If anyone used to be in my place and found that they switched to this "comfort starving" idea how did it happen?
  • 57rainbows
    57rainbows Posts: 101 Member
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    I did that, sort of. Awhile back.

    For me, it went something like this: Everything in my life seemed out of control. My family life was unstable, I spent an entire summer moving from one friend's house to the next, and I was in a stressful teenage sort of age. I didn't understand why at the time, but when I felt those hunger pangs, it felt so good to ignore them. I felt proud of myself somehow when I could look back on the past two or three days and I had only eaten one real meal and two snacks. I did *not* do it for weight loss - I hated it when someone noticed I lost weight (15 lbs in 3 months) because I didn't want them to know.

    In retrospect I realized that for me it was a sort of control issue. I didn't feel like I could control anything else in my life, but when I was hungry, rather than do the most natural of things, I could *choose* not to eat. Couldn't keep my parents together, couldn't predict where I'd be sleeping in two nights, couldn't get out of my depression, but I could exert my willpower over my hunger and choose not to eat.

    I had to consciously choose to change that pattern as it was unhealthy and an eating disorder. Ironically, the next time my parents split up (this time for good), I was in the opposite position and had the opposite reaction. I lived on my own, had jobs, had to take care of pets by myself, was making some [unfortunate] relationship choices by myself; I *had* to be in control of soooo much that I wasn't used to, so the one thing I didn't control at all was my eating! This time around I gained 15 lbs and couldn't bring myself to exert my willpower over my food choices because I was so worn out from making so many other choices. Ironic, right?
  • jack_rabbit
    jack_rabbit Posts: 1 Member
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    I normally have to try and eat around 3-3500 calories a day because I do quite a lot of excercise and have always had a naturally fast metabolism. I have the habit of completely losing my appetite when stressed. I'd managed to get myself up to a stable 13st for about a year, but in this last week I've been doing a project as part of an interview process. Since starting the project, last Thursday, I've lost over 6lbs. I just entered all my meals from yesterday and realised that I only ate about 1600 calories. Hopefully now that the project is done I can gain it back, but I'm already starting to feel hungry again which is definitely a good sign!
  • vinnyo27
    vinnyo27 Posts: 3
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    I never even heard of this till now
  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
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    Just a thought - I wonder if it's a control issue? You can't control the things that are causing you stress, but your food intake is one of the things you CAN control.
  • chandanista
    chandanista Posts: 986 Member
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    A few years ago my husband and daughter moved out of state. I was alone. I never ever felt like eating. Definitely didn't feel like cooking and making dishes for just one. I'd go for long walks to get out of the house. I don't know exactly how much I lost but looking at pictures after I moved in with my husband and daughter again, I know I lost a lot, probably due to starvation. Gained it all back during a later pregnancy though, and now losing slowly/healthily.

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