exercising...

ohthatrachelgirl
ohthatrachelgirl Posts: 33
edited November 9 in Health and Weight Loss
I work at a daycare every day from 10:45-5:30 with three year olds. As many of you know they are very active and I have to chase them everywhere. Especially when we play outside for an hour or two at a time. I push them on swings and chase them to one side to the other. This obviously isnt enough exercise or even barely enough. After work I go straight to spend time with the guy I've been "seeing" and dont return home until midnight or later. I really want to be able to go walking with him or some form of exercise... BUT I'm so self conscious of everything... hes a whole foot taller than me so he will walk faster, im sure. Hes skinnier than me so he wont be out of breath as fast. Idk how to overcome being so self conscious around him and being able to get the courage to ask him if he will. AND what if he says no? I'm sure it will hurt my feelings.. lol I guess I'm just a big baby....


So please give me some tips, advice, encouragement please?

Replies

  • mczwright
    mczwright Posts: 62
    Just because he's skinny, doesn't mean he's any healthier than you.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    since you are dating him he already likes/loves you for who you are girlfriend! =)
    ask him, all he can say is no.. i get the taller thing, it doesn't mean he can't go slower so you can do something together tho!
  • mczwright
    mczwright Posts: 62
    Also, if he really cares about you, your size won't stop him from falling for you.
  • tbresina
    tbresina Posts: 558 Member
    Well first off you said he is "your guy" so I am assuming he has seen you and accepts you the way you are now right? Why can't you tell him you are desperately trying to get healthy and if he would like to help you with that. Most guys I know would have no problem being more physical (not sex) with their gf/sig other etc. Let him know you are just starting out and need to take it slow for a while and if he is worth keeping he would be glad to help you! Keep us all informed -k-
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    He might walk faster but you need the exercise. I would just ask. Don't be self-concious about him... If he is worthwhile he will accept you for who you are, not who you pretend to be around him.

    Also, if you want you can start working out in the morning before you go to work. You start work kind of late, so you could get up an hour or 30mins earlier than normal and jump on a bike? Go for a walk? etc. This way you can build your cardio, endurance and confidence so that in a few days/weeks/months you will have built up the courage to ask him to workout with you! :)
  • ahni77
    ahni77 Posts: 75
    Squeeze in a quick workout before your workday. You seem to have a nice window before then. And don't be scared to ask your "friend" to go for a walk with you. I think he would admire and respect you more for taking the initiative to be healthy. If he's not supportive, then maybe it's time to look for someone who does support your desire to be more active :)
  • greasygriddle_wechnage
    greasygriddle_wechnage Posts: 246 Member
    don't use you're "boyfriend" as a work out buddy. either find a friend who will commit with you, find a gym or club that has buddy systems, many do, they will partner people up, or, if you can't afford that, dig in and do it yourself. it will be too self destructive on your ego to do anything with him right now in your "fragile state/self esteem" from your post. hope this helps!
  • ohthatrachelgirl
    ohthatrachelgirl Posts: 33
    he's not really my boyfriend we've only been talking for a few weeks. and everyone knows how a new fling goes at the beginning youre all shy and such haha. He works out at the gym and trains for MMA and stuff. He knows I've been dieting and trying to do better so maybe he wont have a problem with this. Maybe we can do it right before I go home so I dont have to go back into his house and stink or anything haha
  • cawood2
    cawood2 Posts: 177 Member
    Just go for a walk. Make it a short one to start. If he's a hand-holding type, that'll slow him down. And if he walks faster, that just encourages you to walk a bit faster to keep up. I have the same situation with my bf, he walks a lot faster. But we hold hands, and it pushes me to speed up and challenge myself. And then he decides hill sprints are fun... *erg* He's pretty skinny too, but he was finding that the walking was good for him, too. He does a lot of lifting and hammering for his job, but not much walking or cardio, so it was benefitting us both. Hmm, think I'll drag him out for a walk this weekend! :)
  • ohthatrachelgirl
    ohthatrachelgirl Posts: 33
    Squeeze in a quick workout before your workday. You seem to have a nice window before then. And don't be scared to ask your "friend" to go for a walk with you. I think he would admire and respect you more for taking the initiative to be healthy. If he's not supportive, then maybe it's time to look for someone who does support your desire to be more active :)

    Good idea, I just feel like night time is better because its after you eat all of your meals. I know its not really any better than the morning.... i dont even know why I feel like that lol just always used to work out at night
  • ashleynicol3
    ashleynicol3 Posts: 187 Member
    All you can do is ask! I'm sure he'd be happy to help. Some days when I don't feel like running and need motivation, I'll ask my boyfriend to exercise with me. He's not really into running and he won't try Zumba LOL - but he always comes up with something we can do, like take the dogs for a long walk, go roller skating or bowling, etc. If he cares about you, he'll support you one way or another!
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
    I agree with the poster that said just because he's skinny doesn't mean he's healthier than you. I weighed 128 lbs and I had a cholesterol level of 389 before I started this journey. I wasn't overweight but I sure wasn't healthy. Explain to him that you are trying very hard to get healthier and you need to incorporate more exercise into your life and just ask him if he would be willing to take walks with you. If he isn't, then go without him. And tell him that you want to spend time with him, but you still have to care for your own body. If he goes with you, then is a kind, sensitive great guy, and one you probably want to hang on to. And he won't care if you can't keep up with him! :)
  • ashleynicol3
    ashleynicol3 Posts: 187 Member
    Also, walking together would be good exercise AND you can really talk to each other and get to know each other better while you're doing it.
  • ohthatrachelgirl
    ohthatrachelgirl Posts: 33
    All you can do is ask! I'm sure he'd be happy to help. Some days when I don't feel like running and need motivation, I'll ask my boyfriend to exercise with me. He's not really into running and he won't try Zumba LOL - but he always comes up with something we can do, like take the dogs for a long walk, go roller skating or bowling, etc. If he cares about you, he'll support you one way or another!


    omg, I've never thought of roller skating! we could do that and it would be fun :P
  • GeneveSparkles
    GeneveSparkles Posts: 283 Member
    Most guys love active things. Think about the things guys do when they hang out, unlike girls they don't go have lunch, or get coffee, or grab drinks and dessert. They go outside and play :) He will probably think it's awesome that you want to go outside for a stroll. I used to go running with my ex boyfriend and he was way faster than me and I sweat hardcore and get super red in the face, but he appreciated the fact that I take pride in trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. Suggest a walk and and on the weekend go for a longer hike, I guarentee he'll appreciate the suggestion! Good luck :)
  • sweetrice12
    sweetrice12 Posts: 101 Member
    work out in the am before work.
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
    Some people even say working out in the morning is better because it jumpstarts the calorie burning and because you already know how many exercise calories to accont for during the day.

    If I could do my run in the morning I would be in heaven but I'm NOT getting up at 4:45 am to go to the gym!!!
  • Slove009
    Slove009 Posts: 364 Member
    Just tell him you would enjoy going out for walks with him! You can find a nice park to walk through, or go to your local mall and walk through it for an hour or two! Even walking at a leisurely pace (2 miles an hour) for one hour burns almost 150 calories for me. (I'm almost at my goal weight so I'm burning less calories than before)

    Although........

    Roller blades = Epic Win..... Just saying....
  • hauer01
    hauer01 Posts: 516 Member
    I think that you should ask him to go for a walk with you! Most people can appreciate when someone is trying to better themselves. And most guys think it is sexy when a woman wants to take control of any situation. He may walk a bit faster, but he can slow down a bit for a while until you have the stamina to walk faster.

    If he says no, don't take it personally. It is probably no reflection on you as a person, it just may not be his thing. But I would be willing to guess that he would at least try it once or twice with you.
  • ohthatrachelgirl
    ohthatrachelgirl Posts: 33
    Just tell him you would enjoy going out for walks with him! You can find a nice park to walk through, or go to your local mall and walk through it for an hour or two! Even walking at a leisurely pace (2 miles an hour) for one hour burns almost 150 calories for me. (I'm almost at my goal weight so I'm burning less calories than before)

    Although........

    Roller blades = Epic Win..... Just saying....

    I will probably fall and bust my butt, but I'm seriously gonna make him (okay ask him) to take me to go skating lol
  • sdlr4592
    sdlr4592 Posts: 95
    Hi, my name is Sabrina and I'm classified as morbidly obese. Technically speaking. My husband is healthy. I'm a little taller than he is, and I'm so much more robust. I decided I wanted to lose weight so that I'd be able to do more things with him (like swing dancing or laying on top of him without thinking I'm crushing him). But he tells me all the time he loves me just how I am. Even if we can't do all the things I want. This guy you're seeing, if he likes you, then he won't mind what you look like when you two are working out together. He might even find it sexy. Who knows? And if he doesn't enjoy your body as it is now, then why should he deserve a "thinner," "better" you?

    I completely get the self-conscious thing though. Like I said, I'm fairly large and my husband isn't. And he always wants to go walking or bike riding. At first, I was nervous. But like I said, if he cares about you, he isn't going to mind. After you work out in front of him a few times, you get over most, if not all, of your anxiety. I hope everything works out. :)
  • ohthatrachelgirl
    ohthatrachelgirl Posts: 33
    Hi, my name is Sabrina and I'm classified as morbidly obese. Technically speaking. My husband is healthy. I'm a little taller than he is, and I'm so much more robust. I decided I wanted to lose weight so that I'd be able to do more things with him (like swing dancing or laying on top of him without thinking I'm crushing him). But he tells me all the time he loves me just how I am. Even if we can't do all the things I want. This guy you're seeing, if he likes you, then he won't mind what you look like when you two are working out together. He might even find it sexy. Who knows? And if he doesn't enjoy your body as it is now, then why should he deserve a "thinner," "better" you?

    I completely get the self-conscious thing though. Like I said, I'm fairly large and my husband isn't. And he always wants to go walking or bike riding. At first, I was nervous. But like I said, if he cares about you, he isn't going to mind. After you work out in front of him a few times, you get over most, if not all, of your anxiety. I hope everything works out. :)


    Thanks, that helped alot knowing someone was bigger than their guy haha. He never says anything about my weight he always just tells me I'm beautiful now. Hes really encouraging with my no cokes/teas and no fast food for a year so I'm really thankful for that
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,446 Member
    don't use you're "boyfriend" as a work out buddy. either find a friend who will commit with you, find a gym or club that has buddy systems, many do, they will partner people up, or, if you can't afford that, dig in and do it yourself. it will be too self destructive on your ego to do anything with him right now in your "fragile state/self esteem" from your post. hope this helps!

    I agree. You can definitely have active dates. But don't use that for the bulk of your exercise for the week. Do it with a real fitness buddy or alone -- when you aren't spending time with him.
  • sdlr4592
    sdlr4592 Posts: 95
    Thanks, that helped alot knowing someone was bigger than their guy haha. He never says anything about my weight he always just tells me I'm beautiful now. Hes really encouraging with my no cokes/teas and no fast food for a year so I'm really thankful for that

    Well, my hubby never called me fat or pointed it out in any way, even while we were dating. Poor thing would just let me lay on him. (He didn't have to say anything, but I knew he was struggling). But yes, I'm a good 100lbs+ more than my husband. It's great that your guy us supporting you though!
  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
    What about going dancing? I don't dance in public, so I wouldn't, but you might like it! The worst he can say is "no", in which case you can say "Well, I really need to get some exercise in, I'll be back in 30 minutes :D"

    If he works out a lot like you said then I'm sure he will come with you though and just tell him you're self conscious about it, honesty is best. Good luck!
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