co-worker and weight loss advice

KimberlyKurtz
KimberlyKurtz Posts: 287
edited September 19 in Motivation and Support
Ok- I've been using this site for the almost 2 months, at work we did the biggest loser and I've lost 11 pounds total since starting my goal of getting to a heathly weight.
I have a co-worker who I am also her boss we've worked together for the past 2 years and she has gain weight and it's very noticable.
Everyday and I mean everyday she makes a comment about how much weight she's gain, how she used to be a size 6 before she had her son who is now 9 years old!!! She not only tells me this but other co-wokers too. It's starting to be joke among my other co-workers and I about her saying she was a size 6.
I am getting to the point where I dont want to hear it any more I am about to go off on her. I really can't because I am her boss and she's already crossed the line seeing me more as friend not her boss. She doesn't do anything to lose weight, she eats poorly, drinks cans of coke, goes out to eat a lot, never works out.
Other co-workers have told me how great I look and keep up the good work. This co-worker always say to me oh you do so great, eat so healthy wait to you have kids you'll end up like me stressed, tried and fat!!! That was so wrong!!!
I do work at losing weight, I pack my lunch, I work out and try to take care of myself she does nothing.
I've suggusted to her going to Curves because I used to go there gave her a 30 day free trial she never went. I gave her this site never went on. I've given her tools and try to be postive and supportive but it's getting to the point where I am sick of tired of hearing about how she used to be a size 6 and how much weight she's gain.
Help! I need advice on how to deal with her before I say something hurtful.

Replies

  • TCASMEY
    TCASMEY Posts: 1,405 Member
    Maybe the next time she talks about being a size 6 ask her if she misses being a size 6 and if she does ask her what she is doing to be a size 6.

    It's putting it in her court. She can sit and complain or she can get to work.
  • zibbity
    zibbity Posts: 126 Member
    That's a toughie.It sounds like you've done a lot already, but honestly, maybe you should give her a bit of "tough love". You don't have to be nasty about it, but maybe its what she needs to hear.
  • faithjobes
    faithjobes Posts: 104 Member
    i don't know what to tell you about her...the ideas already given were good. but don't buy into her lies about after you have kids you have to be fat, tired, ect. i have two kids, one with special needs. i gained alot of weight after i had them but that's because i didn't care, didn't try, ect. now, i care again and i've already lost 25 lbs!!! sure, i have alot more to go because i want to be a healthy, hot mom. but you keep up the good work!
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Speaking for myself, you can't start a sucessful weight loss journey until your head is in the right place. Right now, it sounds like hers is stuck somewhere where she can't see very well. I will let you draw your own conclusion about what I mean.:wink:

    Seriously, it sounds like she is threatened by the sucess of you and others, and maybe trying to "help" by pointing out the "tools" available and giving her the Curves pass has had the opposite effect of what you were trying to accomplish.

    Maybe you can't ignore her, but don't want to throttle her either. (That might come off as "hostile work environment" and cause all sorts of "HR issues." :laugh: ) So here is plan "B": Next time she starts in, tell her you realize it is not easy being a mom, but when she is ready to make a change, it will happen. Meanwhile, there is no point about dwelling on the past, think about the future.

    Maybe that will set her back on her heels and make her think. We can only hope.

    Good luck!!
  • MissVitaVonCherry
    MissVitaVonCherry Posts: 709 Member
    I wouldn't be totally nasty about it, but if I did see her by herslef eating something totally wrong I would say "you don't want to eat that, it is unhealthy for you"
    and then i would look up the nutrition facts and give them to her.
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    I would just have to tell her like my husband always told me when I would complain about gaining weight he would say

    "Well, you know no one can do anything about it but you and if you are tired of not being a size 6, then do something about it" but say it in a nice way, if possible.

    Memaw
  • verykristin
    verykristin Posts: 40
    Well, it's up to her to decide when and if she wants to take control of her eating. You've made a few suggestions, and can do nothing more.

    But since you are the boss, you can certainly put a ban on complaining about personal issues at work. That's the only real power you have in this situation.

    I feel bad for her, and obviously talking about it nonstop is her way of dealing with the embarrassment and shame she feels right now. Hopefully your weight loss will be an inspiration to her.:flowerforyou:
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
    Wow, that's really hard to deal with. I'm dealing with someone at work who is at least 300 lbs. This woman has tried lots of different ways to drop weight, and recentlywas approved for bariatric surgery, but her sister in law interfered with the process and the doctor ultimately postponed the surgery til her blood sugar is under control.

    I feel that there are certain people who just aren't READY to change - they make every excuse in the book to avoid hard work. In your case, tough love is in order, and trust me, there's no reason to censor what you talk about to avoid hurting her feelings. Your successes should not be eclipsed by her negativity.
  • paulamma1
    paulamma1 Posts: 544 Member
    Not until she's ready and willing to lose weight will she do one thing about it. And there's nothing anyone can do to hurry that moment along.

    My father used to always laugh at people trying to get children to "walk". He's always say "Children will walk when they're ready to."

    Don't feel ANY obligation to try and help her out. It's her life and up to her. (I work with one of them too.)

    As to her moaning about being a size 6. When she starts talking about it, totally ignore her. Don't respond, don't acknowledge, don't look at her. Leave a few beats pass and then start talking about something completely different. Stick at it.
  • VballLeash
    VballLeash Posts: 2,456 Member
    After reading that wow shes annoying me! haha It's really nice of you to give her those tools and such but she has to make the first step, you've done all that you can to help her and more than most would. Maybe just have a little heart to heart with her and tell her that if she really wants to change she can, your a good example yourself and that you would appreciate it if she didn't talk about how much weight shes gained so much. Good luck!!!

    ~Leash :heart:
  • KimberlyKurtz
    KimberlyKurtz Posts: 287
    Thanks Everyone!!!
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