my boyfriend isn't funny

Be careful what you wish for. After 19 years of marriage, there are days I tell my husband, "Your humor brought us together and it might just tear us apart."

Love that he is so funny, just at times, funny isn't what I want or need at that time.

No matter what you say, a huge glass of ice cold water being poured on you in the shower is ALWAYS funny.

hahaha!! so NOT funny! Haven't done that since college. I wonder how he'd react to that one… :bigsmile:

You should totally do it as soon as possible and then let us know what happens!

I feel bad for admitting it, but I'm really missing humor in our relationship. Anyone else had this experience? Should I seek laughter outside of our home? Can I help him be funnier? Am I going to have the sole responsibility of cracking our friends and family up? Oh man. Or are we doomed? I think my mental health and my abs would benefit from more laughter in my life! :laugh:

I looked but no one has asked how long you've been dating. To me, that's an important piece of info.

Why do you feel bad for admitting that you are missing something from a relationship? Is the relationship otherwise great? Have you invested a lot of your life in this relationship? Have you been together awhile and things have been so great you just didn't realize the humor wasn't really there? Or is it something you have missed the whole time?

How important is sharing a laughter, sharing a sense of humor with your partner? It doesn't really matter how important it is to me, or anyone else commenting. It matters how important it is to you. As attractive as the fantasy sounds, it's unlikely you are going to fundamentally change a person. So you have to decide if an unfunny mate is OK with you.

I looked but no one has asked how long you've been dating. To me, that's an important piece of info.

Why do you feel bad for admitting that you are missing something from a relationship? Is the relationship otherwise great? Have you invested a lot of your life in this relationship? Have you been together awhile and things have been so great you just didn't realize the humor wasn't really there? Or is it something you have missed the whole time?

How important is sharing a laughter, sharing a sense of humor with your partner? It doesn't really matter how important it is to me, or anyone else commenting. It matters how important it is to you. As attractive as the fantasy sounds, it's unlikely you are going to fundamentally change a person. So you have to decide if an unfunny mate is OK with you.

Your questions are probably rhetorical, but I'm going to answer them anyway because you're right! We've been dating almost three years. I feel bad for admitting it because he's wonderful in so many other ways. I can't expect him to be perfect! I've been missing humor the whole time, but didn't notice it as much when our relationship was "new." Now we are living together, which means we spend a lot more time together. I'd love it if he'd crack his own jokes sometimes, or say something random, or be sarcastic, or even make fun of me when I do something stupid. I know I won't change him, just trying to figure out if it's possible to make a relationship work without humor that goes both ways.

My questions were not rhetorical at all. Forum culture sometimes dictates giving life-changing advice armed with only a sliver of information. I was curious about some of the context you were describing.

Here is my FREE/from a random guy on the Internet advice. If you want to continue the relationship - you enjoy it and want to keep spending time with this guy - tell him exactly what you wrote above. Starting with "I'd love it if.." Tell him that stuff directly. Sometimes we think we've asked for things when we've only hinted at them. Sometimes we fail to adequately convey how important something is because we don't want to sound harsh/demanding/*****y/etc. You gotta own your wants.

If you ask directly (or have asked) and he either refuses, is unable, or is unwilling to have the sense of humor you want, you have a choice to make. You said you know you won't change him. So you have to decide if his sense of humor - the way it is now - is something you can live with or not.

again if we know and he doesnt --- that is a problem itself. Commx can make or break a relationship. Life is simple we make it complicated. Cliche but true. Wanting some Humor in life is not too much to ask for. But it sounds like your relationship has more pros then cons. Way your options wisely . I once imposed GODLY expectations (Perfection) in one. You really set yourself up for failure. Nothing wrong with trying to find mr right--- You will bump into several Mr Wrongs along the way. Just try not to have any regrets... Easy to say --- the difference between your mind and your heart. Your Brain tells you what is smart while your heart tells you what you going to do anyway.....

Humor is like penis size. You got what you got.

OMG!! HAHA You sir, have a LARGE humor...

Hahaha this is great! both the op and the response!

I always dumped dudes that didn't make me laugh. Sense of humor is an absolute non-negotiable for me. If you are starting to feel resentment or uncertainty about your relationship because of his lack of humor, then yes, I'd say you're doomed.

^^ This.

I'm the same way. The guy I was dating before my fiance was a total dud. He wasn't funny or smart and was lacking in another way, too if ya get my drift. He was the sweetest guy ever though, but that just didn't cut it.

My fiance and I can crack a joke at pretty much everything. Humor is a MUST for me in a relationship, but I think if your man meets your other requirements in most areas then you gotta take the good with the bad.

My husband is hilarious and I love it. People probably think we're crazy. It's almost like we have our own language.

^ this :flowerforyou:

I have a largely cynical and inappropriate sense of humor that pisses my wife off. I can find humor in just about anything and typically laugh when its not acceptable :P.