friend zoning myself?

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Vodkha
Vodkha Posts: 352 Member
in Chit-Chat
For anyone who has been following my story, I had previously talked to a guy online for over a year. We finally met the other days. I texted him last night to see if he wanted to hang out at his place. He said that no, tonite he was busy. (I appreciate his brutal honesty sometimes). I asked if he has any interest in hanging out again. He said yes, that he had fun last time, even if I was a little shy! So, it's good he wants to see me again.

Now, someone told me that I shouldn't be going over to his place, that I am going to friend-zone myself. That we should be going out somewhere all the time. Both him and I are not super outgoing people and if given a choice, would rather stay home than go out (generally). Obviously I know we aren't going to stay at his place all the time, but is there harm in going there when we are just getting to know each other better?

Replies

  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I don`t think guys have a "friend zone" issue,that really seems to be more of a ladys thing so I wouldn`t worry about it. :smile:
  • WickedMouse
    WickedMouse Posts: 343 Member
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    well what would you be doing if you want to his place? Playing Uno= Friend Zone / Naked Wrestling = not so much friend zone
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    If he has already decided that you're in the 'friend zone'...it doesn't matter if you get together at his place or do a night out. You'll know soon enough if he is romantically interested in you :flowerforyou:
  • Vodkha
    Vodkha Posts: 352 Member
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    How long do guys typically wait until they let you know they like you romantically? :-S
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Oh and the mama bear in me would also like to say.....please be safe, you met him on line and have had only one face to face meeting with him. You might want to wait and have a few more public meetings before going home with him or vise versa.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    I'm fairly certain that going over to his place is the option that is LEAST likely to lead to friend zone.
  • Vodkha
    Vodkha Posts: 352 Member
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    Thanks everyone!!
  • Scubanana7
    Scubanana7 Posts: 361 Member
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    oK, I know nothing about you and it's probably NOT my business. But I'm a mom of 3 grown daughters. Talking to someone a year sounds like you really had a chance to get to know him. HOWEVER.....the mom in me freaks out about going to his place--or yours. If you've taken a year to meet each other, then why would you feel comfortable enough to be alone??? Homebody or not, go to restaurants, movies, a park...anything but alone for a while. What is so wrong with a few public dates? I'm sure he's fine.....but always look out for yourself as a woman.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    oK, I know nothing about you and it's probably NOT my business. But I'm a mom of 3 grown daughters. Talking to someone a year sounds like you really had a chance to get to know him. HOWEVER.....the mom in me freaks out about going to his place--or yours. If you've taken a year to meet each other, then why would you feel comfortable enough to be alone??? Homebody or not, go to restaurants, movies, a park...anything but alone for a while. What is so wrong with a few public dates? I'm sure he's fine.....but always look out for yourself as a woman.

    It's people like YOU that kept me from getting lucky so many times on the first date in college!!!

    (j/k - planning to start a family pretty soon myself, respect)
  • Vodkha
    Vodkha Posts: 352 Member
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    I agree. He lived in my hometown when we started talking. My plan was to move back there, and then it never happened at that time. But we just kept talking. I moved back about 3 months ago. So, that's why we haven't met earlier.
  • messyinthekitchen
    messyinthekitchen Posts: 662 Member
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    I don't think your friend zoning yourself. But I do think going over to his house so early on could give him the wrong impression. From my experience every time I went to a guys house early on he would try and hook up.
  • Scubanana7
    Scubanana7 Posts: 361 Member
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    Good Luck -- I'll keep my fingers crossed for a 'romance.' and CONCRATS ON THE 25 POUNDS. GO GIRL
  • AussieMisfit
    AussieMisfit Posts: 78 Member
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    I'm fairly certain that going over to his place is the option that is LEAST likely to lead to friend zone.

    this ^^
  • burstchair
    burstchair Posts: 40
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    With guys there is no friend zone. If you
    Guys are hanging out, he prob doesn't want to be just friends. Unless he constantly puts off dates. You can always ask. Trust me, us guys would be so pumped if women just asked questions. ie do you want to be more than friends?
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I tend to agree with your friend, except I don't think it will put you in the "friend zone." I think if you go over right away, it puts you in the "it doesn't take a lot to impress her" category and you don't wanna be there, especially if you want him to like you. Hanging out at the house is for when you've been dating for forever. I think you should go on "dates" to places like movies, coffee shops, bowling, etc and then start hanging out at each other's houses. But that's just my opinion! You want people to want to be with you, and if you make it sooooo easy they end up taking you for granted.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    I don't think it matters where you go... if he's going to "friend zone" you it will happen whether you're at his place, out or wherever..

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