What is wrong with me??

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SeaChele77
SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
in Motivation and Support
The other day a co-worker joked that I needed new clothes as many of my jeans are very baggy on me now. So yesterday I decided I did need a better fitting pair (or two) of jeans. I get my normal size which I normally fit the bigger of the size - but yesterday every single size 6 was too big. I went and got a few 4's and oh my gosh....they fit. NSV!! So I'm standing there looking in the mirror and for about 1 min I'm ecstatic - over the moon that I'm back in a (big) 4 - a 4 nonetheless. Then my eyes refocus and all I can do is find flaws. Belly still not super flat, hips still too much fluff, etc, etc. Why can I not be happy?? The scale has been really nice the last few days and I am maintaining 1.5lbs under my initial goal weight. I am also under pre-pregnancy weight for my 2nd and only 5lbs off from pre-pregnancy from my 1st child. However, I am much more toned. What is wrong with me?

Replies

  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    I think we all suffer from this sort of thing to a small extent, but if it's affecting you as badly as it seems then you may have this:

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder/DS00559

    A course of CBT and possibly medications can help. The treatment is similar to that given to sufferers of depression or anxiety disorders.
  • seekingstrengthX2
    seekingstrengthX2 Posts: 771
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    Sounds like you have some body image issues, not uncommon with women. Your head shot certainly looks thin in your pic.. and a size 4 is what most women would dream for. Do you generally have low self esteem?
  • hselby87
    hselby87 Posts: 49 Member
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    We all do it. I would say nothing is wrong with you! You are being normal. I know when I lose weight, I look in the mirror and I don't see the super model on the front of vogue this week and so all the smiles go away and I feel fat all over again. It takes a lot to train ourselves that what we see on tv and magazines isn't real, so when we look in the mirror at what IS real, we should be elated!

    I wrote on my bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker "You are BEAUTIFUL. You are Sexy. YOU ARE REAL!"

    Hug yourself girl, you are doing amazing!
  • MissVCI
    MissVCI Posts: 277 Member
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    I don't know, I'm a size 10-12, and the first thing I do every morning is look at myself in the mirror naked and say damn I look good.

    (I have to stay positive, focusing on my flaws won't help me achieve my goals)

    So even if I don't 100% believe it that morning, I still wake up and say it, it's a great way to start the day and motivate myself to be even sexier!!!

    So just focus on all the good!!!
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
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    This doesn't mean there is something "wrong" with you. It happens to lots of women. Sounds like low self esteem. My advice there is nothing wrong with talking with a therapist. It doesn't mean you are crazy or ill, but it can be a good way to figure out why you feel this way and how to make it better!
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    The other day a co-worker joked that I needed new clothes as many of my jeans are very baggy on me now. So yesterday I decided I did need a better fitting pair (or two) of jeans. I get my normal size which I normally fit the bigger of the size - but yesterday every single size 6 was too big. I went and got a few 4's and oh my gosh....they fit. NSV!! So I'm standing there looking in the mirror and for about 1 min I'm ecstatic - over the moon that I'm back in a (big) 4 - a 4 nonetheless. Then my eyes refocus and all I can do is find flaws. Belly still not super flat, hips still too much fluff, etc, etc. Why can I not be happy?? The scale has been really nice the last few days and I am maintaining 1.5lbs under my initial goal weight. I am also under pre-pregnancy weight for my 2nd and only 5lbs off from pre-pregnancy from my 1st child. However, I am much more toned. What is wrong with me?
    Nothing or everything.....WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE - :bigsmile:

    We are all like that.
    Congratulations on your success!
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Because you are conditioned in your head by past relationships and the media that if you do not look like a hollywood actress or runway model, that you are a flawed human being that is not attractive.

    Many of us suffer the same thing. I know for me, if I don't look like the Rock or David Beckham without a shirt on, that I feel that I am heavily flawed as well and I'm embarrassed to be seen.

    I don't know the fix for it other than to be real with it, understand what it is, and try to decouple the faulty wiring piece by piece.
  • daddyyak
    daddyyak Posts: 2
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    There is nothing wrong with you! Keep up your efforts. As you get in to shape, the body realigns and shows you a different look. Tell your alter-ego to cool it and hang in there!
  • saraparris82
    saraparris82 Posts: 24
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    You are not alone. This sounds like me! I'm doing one of those crazy gym bootcamps and we're halfway through, and I have to admit I am very toned now. However, all I can focus on is how I still have a belly and that the numbers on the scale aren't where I thought they would be by now. I also just had my second baby too. It's not easy.

    You sound like you are doing awesome so keep up the good work. You can add me if you want and we can keep each other in check :)
  • lruff1987
    lruff1987 Posts: 263 Member
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    There's definitely nothing wrong with you! I'm a size 6, and yet, when I look in the mirror, I still see that size 14 girl I was so long ago.

    This is a good example of how weight loss is NOT just physical, it's more mental and emotional. The pounds come off, but mentally we stay the same. So that's why we all have to work on ourselves emotionally by affirmations and talking it out, even if talking it out means talking to ourselves!

    You're awesome for getting to the point you're at. Don't let your head tell you anything different! We just have to keep up a positive attitude! :)
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
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    You are not alone! I have to make a conscious decision every morning to not look in the mirror for flaws. Instead, look for the good things! My face and neck are still quite thin, despite the extra pounds. My hair is wild but cute today. That kind of thing!

    It's a part of your journey, to look at yourself and see the good things in life. You have to get away from that "supermodel" ideal, and find your beauty within. We have been trained to always see the flaws, now we all need to refocus and find the beauty everywhere!

    Sounds like you are doing a great job. Keep it up!
  • jnance82
    jnance82 Posts: 149
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    I do the same thing. I think it's just a woman thing I think. I'm down from a 14 to a 10, which is what I wanted to be, but whenever I look at myself naked in the mirror all I see is flaws. But when I see pictures of myself and look in the mirror with clothes on I smile and say "Damn, that's me!"



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  • SeaChele77
    SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Wow!!! Thank you all so much!! I know my self esteem needs work. I dealt with ED for many years and I am desperately trying not to go there again and lose the healthy way. And I think many of you are right in the sense it takes our brain/eyes a bit to catch up with what our bodies are doing. My eyes/brain still sees the girl 20lbs heavier.

    Affrimations do work - I do it for other things in my life. Better start working on myself. :happy:

    Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.

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