Gym Anxiety

Yes. Believe it or not I think everyone STARTS at where you are.
When I was in middle school and high school I was a skinny guy, 6' and 170lbs. I ran track, played basketball and soccer. I was not strong. The whole reason I got on the track team was so that I wouldn't have to go into the 'off season' and do weight training. Some of the guys there were already huge and I couldn't lift much more then the bar on the bench press. So imagine the anxiety a girl has and exponentially increase it as guys would literally equate how masculine you were to how much you could bench - as your worth of a man.

Anyhow. After only about 3-4 weeks of hitting the weights I saw immediate improvements. I always pushed myself, not to what other people were doing around me, but what I thought I could do... then just another rep more. By the 2nd month, I was still small, but the comrodery in the gym changed, all of a sudden when they would announce my reps and weight people would still chuckle. But then afterwards most of the actual strong guys in the gym that worked out hard, would come up to me and say something like... "Man you've really put on some muscle, that's a huge improvement!" All of a sudden those were the same guys I was afraid of. That were now encouraging me or would come help me spot the weight. They were there for the same reason I was, to get strong and push myself.

I'm a big believer of "whatever you put out into the world, you get back in return". So my advice about the gym. Go in, have a general routine or list of exercises you want to do. Have a good playlist of music that will keep you motivated. Go in for 2-3 weeks to get a nice baseline of what you can/can't do (amount of weight related) and then once you are comfortable with your routine, look to find someone that is a familiar face that you've seen at the gym. Maybe someone that keeps to themself as well, but seems to be motivated about their workout. I would generally recommend a same sex person. Just ask them if they can 'spot you' with whatever exercise you are about to do at that time. In my own experience, I have NEVER had anyone say no. And those people will come to you asking you for a spot when they do something. Bingo- you now have a subtle gym friend.

That person can be someone you go up to and one day say, what are you working on today, or do you mind if I work out with you today? Gauge their response. Some people are like you and want a partner! Some people though are happy to help others spot and want someone to spot them, but they don't want a workout partner, they would prefer to do it alone. Hopefully you can calibrate their response and attitude towards the subject and go from there.

I ended up working out with 2 other guys (3) 3 times a week. It was unspoken and wasn't planned. We just always saw each other, helped each other with spots, and slowly became acquaintences. Then one day, it was "are you gonna be here Thursday, same time? if so I'm doing Back and Biceps if you wanna work in with me?"

People ALL want encouragement. Don't believe me. Tell someone at the gym, have you lost weight? Or, your arms look like you are getting strong! - be sincere obviously. Watch the reaction.

What you put out, you will get back.

Nolan-

I go through the same thing. I just keep trying. After a couple of times making it to the door, I make it in. The day I make it in, I barely work out. Next time I manage more. Just push yourself farther and farther out of your comfort zone every day, and eventually you will be able to get in there and work out with the rest of them. Then once you are comfortable at the gym, don't stop going! If I don't go for awhile the anxiety level resets itself.

I have really bad anxiety and have found the only way to get over it is to make myself uncomfortable, do things that are way out of my comfort zone. Example: Pole dancing class, belly dancing class, going to the gym

The more I push myself the more I desensitize myself to the anxiety.