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At a crossroads....

jeannine71
jeannine71 Posts: 66 Member
edited November 2024 in Chit-Chat
So, my BF and I have been together for 6 years, lived together for most of it. We've had our ups & downs but things have been good for the last 8 mos or so. It's never been one of those "ooohhh, ahhh" crazy passionate type of relationships, but it's stable and supportive. We're both in our early 40's, so for me, that's ok at this stage of the game :)

My current issue is - we want to start our own business....I would have to invest basically every bit I have saved (and so will he). My family is kinda freaking out (in their passive-aggresive way) because we're not married - they feel he needs to commit to me before I commit my money and time to this business.

The thing is, I really don't know if I care that much about being married anymore. I used to, but now it just seems like a non-issue. I'm different from my sisters in that way - they both married young and had babies. I didn't. I feel like I can trust my BF and I feel the business can succeed..

Something is still tugging at me though, I don't know if it's the criticism from my family or something more.....last night I asked him if he wanted to commit, he said - "do you want to get married?" I said I didn't know. He said "we should talk about this more.....soon". So I marked my calender and in 2 months if we haven't talked more about it, I guess I'll have to think more about it...hopefully before I drop my life's savings into this business.....

Am I being a dope?

Replies

  • canela023
    canela023 Posts: 88 Member
    Dont think your being a dope in anyway. I too have a wonderful bf but have little desire to marry again, been there down that....it didn't work. I'd go to a lawyer and somehow have them write up an agreement for both if the business doesn't work and if it does. Don't listen to what others say, do what you feel!!!!
  • jeannine71
    jeannine71 Posts: 66 Member
    Thank you!! I breathed a big sigh of relief after reading your post :)
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    Dont think your being a dope in anyway. I too have a wonderful bf but have little desire to marry again, been there down that....it didn't work. I'd go to a lawyer and somehow have them write up an agreement for both if the business doesn't work and if it does. Don't listen to what others say, do what you feel!!!!

    This is excellent.
  • deejay7806
    deejay7806 Posts: 165 Member
    Dont think your being a dope in anyway. I too have a wonderful bf but have little desire to marry again, been there down that....it didn't work. I'd go to a lawyer and somehow have them write up an agreement for both if the business doesn't work and if it does. Don't listen to what others say, do what you feel!!!!

    This is excellent.

    this is exactly wot i was gonna say...... go 4 it :-)
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    No need to be married. Just be a good business partner and have 50-50 ownership in the business.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    There are plenty of married people who aren't at all committed. Your boyfriend is already committed to you. When starting a business, definitely take the advice to protect yourself legally.

    I will never marry, so even buying a home with whoever I end up committed to will be doubly taken care of legally.
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    as much as you love and trust your bf, Get everything business wise in a legal contract, and if he cannot accept that I would not start a business with him.
  • blytheandbonnie
    blytheandbonnie Posts: 3,275 Member
    Dont think your being a dope in anyway. I too have a wonderful bf but have little desire to marry again, been there down that....it didn't work. I'd go to a lawyer and somehow have them write up an agreement for both if the business doesn't work and if it does. Don't listen to what others say, do what you feel!!!!
    True, people start businesses together all the time without marrying. Just make sure the legal side is covered. Good luck to you.
  • jeannine71
    jeannine71 Posts: 66 Member
    Thanks everyone! Heading to the lawyer next week :) Your advice is much appreciated!
This discussion has been closed.

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