I don't know why this has to be so hard

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JenMarie
JenMarie Posts: 15
in Motivation and Support
My dress for my sister's wedding came yesterday. It fits perfectly but I took some quick pictures to show her. Camera's don't lie. I can't believe I have let myself get this big. I never planned on this nor did I want this. I am 32 and I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and I started smoking again. Am I trying to kill myself? I am doing everything wrong. I can't do this anymore. I have to be here for my son and my husband. I don't know what is wrong with me. Everytime I diet I am perfect and then I freak out and end up gaining more weight than I started with. Am I afraid of failure? Am I afraid of success? It is just about choices. You choose what to eat. You choose to exercise or sit in front of the tv. It doesn't have to be this hard. I feel like an embarrassment to my mother. She is a half empty kind of person. Today is my first day and I know I sound like Debbie Downer. But I think that I have really hit rock bottom. No where to go but up from here. Or down in my case.

Replies

  • naugustyniak
    naugustyniak Posts: 836 Member
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    CONGRATULATIONS This is the first step.

    Second step....Don't think of this as a diet, think of it as a lifestyle change.

    There are tons of people on this site who have and are going through what you are so don't feel alone, we are here to help you.

    You need to do this for yourself though, not for your mom, your sister, no one (except the part about being here for your son). Like John Mellencamp says "Your Life Is Now"
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    Ok, Jen....you have to do to really focus on GETTING HEALTHY! Don't even think about the word DIET. This is going to be your first step to the healthy lifestyle you will keep forever. This is not just a three, six or twelve month program...this is for keeps! :smile: That is where I have to be to make this change. I can't think temporary. I have to think permenant.
    Please join us in JUNE STARTERS. I think it will be an awesome group for you. We have such awesome gals there (AND one dude) :laugh:
    I'm 32 also and we are fighting our sabatoaged metabolism, but it can totally be fixed. :happy: We are not doomed because we past the 30's threshold :happy:
    YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! :heart:
  • overit
    overit Posts: 273
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    Jen, you sound very much like I do. After watching the scale continually go up this month, I am really down about it and need to gain control and make the right choices. I am 33 and it is so frustrating how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off at this age. Good luck and I hope we can be support to each other.
  • sournotez
    sournotez Posts: 14
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    i used to smoke too. it's hard to exercise with a lower lung capacity, but i've found that walking is a great way to burn calories without over-stressing your lungs. if you are a member at the gym, it's very effective to walk on a treadmill with a slight incline. you can't even notice a .5 or 1 incline, and it burns so many more calories. on the days when i'd smoke a lot of cigarettes, i'd walk a few miles on a 3 incline instead of running. what's awesome is if your gym has a tv or music! it's one small step, but probably you'll start losing the weight again, and possibly that will motivate you to make other changes. good luck!
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    You can do it!! This is a great first step!
  • lstpaul
    lstpaul Posts: 2,013 Member
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    :flowerforyou: It isn't easy, but you CAN do it, and I know that I CAN too. The hardest part for me is making eating healthier and finding time to exercise a priority in my life, and not feeling like it's being selfish - because it is better for my whole family, including me, to be healthier and happier! There are so many success stories on this web site to help motivate us! Just take it one day at a time, one goal at a time ... and you will get there! I think we have all been at the same low point that you are today, be proud of yourself for taking steps to change! We CAN do this! :smile:
  • staclo
    staclo Posts: 511 Member
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    You should check out the book "Are You Ready" by Bob Harper. That's actually where I started this time around. It was a great motivator for me, and really helped me take a look at myself a little more deeply.

    Congratulations on taking the first step! My other advise is to come here everyday! Let others hold you accountable. Read the success stories! I read them every day for the first month. Don't give up ever!!:flowerforyou:
  • bampitt
    bampitt Posts: 43 Member
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    I'm 44 and eating clean and a regular exercise routine have done wonders for me. I have lost two pants sizes in about 3 months. My weight loss has been 1-2 pounds every week which is the healthy - and permanent- way to lose weight. I'm on my way to get back to a healthy weight and I can't believe it took me this long to discover living healthy!!

    Do not think that this will happen overnight. It won't. This is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE not a diet that you lose 20 pounds in 1 week. It is a committment but it will be so worth it because the results will make you feel better about yourself, and make you look fantastic!

    But, know that it can be done. All you have to do is do it. :flowerforyou:

    Good luck !
  • MFR1974
    MFR1974 Posts: 92
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    I too have a story very similar to yours. Back in April I was 202 lbs...and I'm 5' 2". Thanks to my new commitment and the support of MFP I am now down 21 lbs. I have tried so many diets and they always fail..or I hit a plateau and give up. I'm here to tell you this is not a diet...it is a commitment to changing yourself for the better. It will force you to deal with "stuff" and change you in the end. You can do it...you are worth it!
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    rock bottom is definitely the first step!

    I couldn't believe it when I woke up one day, weighed myself, and the scale read 209lbs. Everyone has to start somewhere, sometime, and now is your turn. :flowerforyou: You can do it, change is always possible!
  • spartidax
    spartidax Posts: 18
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    I know what you are talking about..... This is my 3rd day on this site. I think the only thing that keeps me from hitting up the chocolate and other sweets that my co-workers bring is keeping this site open all day and reading through the posts. All the encouragement that the members show each other is AMAZING!!! :smile: I rarely let my picture get taken. While looking for pics to put up on my profile I have found one about every two or three years. Over the weekend, my husband got the camera and took a picture of me in my bathing suit. WHAT AN EYE OPENER !!! :sad:
    That was Sunday. Monday when I came to work I was motivated to do something about this. I realized if I keep ignoring the weight and the unhealthy way I was living, I wouldn't be living to see my kids have families of their own some day. My husband and I plan and talk all the time about what we are going to do when we retire.... but if something doesn't change I won't be around when it's time to do all the traveling and relaxing. Keep your head up and listen to the members - they have all been where we are now and they are succeeding. We can too.
  • JenMarie
    JenMarie Posts: 15
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    WOW what amazing advice. I feel so empowered. I haven't exercised today but I have been perfect as far as eating. I am trying to focus on the times where I feel the weakest and be prepared to fight the temptation. All of your words and suggestions really had an impact on me.

    Especially to see that some of you were where I am and beat it. I told my mom that under all this flubber I am still a very cute girl and I will find her again. I just feel like she has been asleep. Time to wake up.

    (Off to put up a trampoline by myself with 2 twin 5 yr olds and my 6 yr old. This should be a workout.)

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :love:

    JenMarie
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    Its encouraging to me to read these as well. I just started my diet today, but I didn't excercise because I had a cavity filled today and spent the rest of the day numb. Am facing a possible root canal, or extraction tommorow. If I feel ok afterward, I might go take a walk on the beach.

    I feel like this is the one life change that will finaly take. I love the support I see here! :heart:
  • staceyw37
    staceyw37 Posts: 2,094 Member
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    mfp is awesome! there are lots of caring ppl, challenges and teams tokeep you moving forward.

    welcome and know success is within your reach!

    and now after all these inspiring posts, i'm off to walk the dog a bit.
    'night :heart:
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    Feel free to vent any time you want. This IS hard, and we all know it, feel it, and live it every day.

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