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So my wife wants to lose weight.

mideon_696
mideon_696 Posts: 770 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
As the title states.

My beautiful wants to lose about 20kg's. But does not seem to be able to gather the motivation.
She tries every so often for a couple of weeks. See results too, last time losing 2.4kg rather quickly just eating right.
But then loses interest and puts it back on plus another .5kg most times.

How the fark do i help her out?

I myself am an IF'er, and into lifting heavy things, and have no trouble motivating myself most of the time.

Often i cant help but think that i'm half the problem...? That maybe somehow i demotivate her?

Any tips or suggestions guys?

I dont say anything about it at the moment, i just encourage her when she says she wants or needs to lose some weight.

ARGH!

Replies

  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
    Put her on here. Send her my way. My husband plateaued badly and after I got him to take this site seriously he's lost another 10kg or so. Happy to help sort her out ;)
  • mideon_696
    mideon_696 Posts: 770 Member
    Hrmm, trying to get her on here.
    I think i just need her to want to keep at it. not sure why results dont further motivate her.

    i'll keep working on her for this site, haha. And i'll point her to you no doubt.
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    Yeah I think getting her on here would be a big help!

    Show her some success stories and some good pals :D
  • rsmblue
    rsmblue Posts: 353 Member
    Offer to do it with her... Even if she doesn't want to do weights or hard-core cardio... Offer to go on a walk :)
  • mideon_696
    mideon_696 Posts: 770 Member
    Was thinking of doing that.
    She really wants to get ontop of it, just needs to have that "moment".

    The moment when you realise you NEED it. Rather than WANT it.

    Once these goals become a NEED, then everything falls into place.

    How can i influence this!? lol.

    EDIT: Already offering to do it with her. I've had her pick up some weights twice before. We were walking together 3 times a week a few months back, but she just lost interest.
    Currently trying to insert the idea of throwing around my evil russian friend.
  • Wisemomoffour
    Wisemomoffour Posts: 125 Member
    I think it is great you want to support your wife. I would love it if my husband wanted to go on bike ride with me, take a walking tour of a new town/city, hike, etc. Anything you could do together that you'd both enjoy? Keep telling her how hot/fit/great she looks every time she gives it a try. Good luck to you both!
  • jenniet04
    jenniet04 Posts: 1,054 Member
    If you find out, let me know. My hubby wants to lose too, but won't track his calories no matter how many times I tell him it's the only way. I even signed him up on MFP and he has the app on his phone. He exercises and eats pretty healthy, but he's not tracking it, so he doesn't know what he needs to work on to get the right combination to lose the weight.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I say just helping her get active is the first step. Maybe start by going to museums and getting her to walk around or taking her ice skating. Once I started to realize how good it felt to be active I wanted it more and more. Playing soccer with my kids got me back into fitness.
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 349 Member
    I can really identify with your wife. I've been yo-yoing for years and everytime I lose some weight, I get demotivated and the weight goes back on plus a few more pounds.

    This site had really helped to motivate me. Reading the success stories gives me hope that I can do it too. I've only started 5 weeks ago and I've lost 15 lbs and am feeling so much happier.

    I have a long way to go, I need to lose 80 lbs altogether. If you manage to convince your wife to join maybe we cud motivate each other. It's usually by this time I'm cheating a bit and then I give up but this time I'm still motivated. I'm hoping it continues.

    Good luck and I hope your wife starts her weight loss journey soon if that's what she wants.
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    Everyone needs to find there reason/want for "dieting"/losing weight. No person, place, or thing will encourage/change her until "she" choices it herself on when/what she wants/needs to do. I have been fat my whole life and nobody could interest me in the least for anything until I found myself and my own motivation/will power! I now go to "curves" 5 days a week and LOVE this site!! I have lost almost 20 pounds and almost 17 inches since Oct. 21st and I did it all by MYSELF!!!! Yay for me for the first time in my life. I hope she finds herself and finds her inner motivation if this is totally what she wants/needs. I think for the most part you are doing exactly what needs to be done and you are supporting her no matter what!! Best of Luck.
  • mideon_696
    mideon_696 Posts: 770 Member
    yeah we love going out together, museum's n the like, but she needs more than that.
    She is a nurse so is active more or less all day. Its just her food choices, or rather her portions that is my concern.
    We both love our food! But trying to explain to her that she can still enjoy all the "good" stuff while "dieting" is difficult.

    I just Told her we are going hiking this weekend, haha. She sounds keen!
    We have done this once before but with friends, and i think the route was too long for everyone but me, lol. So i think a nice "short" one in the national park is the go!
    We actually just bought a house not 10 minutes walk from said national park, so hopefully we can make it a habit in 6 weeks time when we move down there.
  • SithZombie
    SithZombie Posts: 165 Member
    Invite her to come along with you! And maybe set mini exercise challenges! For every one that she meets, reward her with something small (You cook, or do something around the house for her, or let her buy something small).
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    I think it's going to be entirely up to her. Does she want to do it??
  • Lady_Lamb
    Lady_Lamb Posts: 103 Member
    Maybe you could find a fun, active activity that you could do together. My boyfriend and I like to ride bikes together. We strap our bikes onto the car and go to beautiful bike paths and just ride around all day. I am motivated to work out right now because I want to get stronger and better at riding my bike.

    We have also taken up skiing. That burns a ton of calories!
  • mideon_696
    mideon_696 Posts: 770 Member
    Yes for sure she wants to do it. I just think that she needs to have a moment that causes her to feel she NEEDS to do it.

    I'm trying to encourage weight training the most. She has the build for it. Strong legs from years of swimming as a youngin (still shocks even me as to how strong this girl is, lol.) makes for a great way to lose fat. And seems a quick leaner of the movement from the two sessions she has done with me.

    It just pains me to see her unhappy with herself.
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
    Do something together. My husband walks and cycles with me plus we dance. Don't focus on the weight loss, focus on the time you spend doing activities together. As the weight starts to come off, as it inevitably will, she will become motivated and want to do this for herself.

    Speaking as someone who has had major weight issues for most of my adult life, I can assure you that you cannot motivate her. It must come from her and then your role is to be her support person. And then you have to support in the way that works for her. For example, if my husband points out that I shouldn't be eating a particular food, that gets my back up. But if he suggests we go out dancing, then he is my hero.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,648 Member
    See if she wants to join you I.f. once a week.
    Eat fresh produce for each meal and heaps of protein.
    A daily walk together.
    If she really wants it to happen with your help it will!
    Good luck!
  • mideon_696
    mideon_696 Posts: 770 Member
    haha, love it sagetracey

    We do most everything together apart from exercise...lol.i
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Different things work for different people, but one of the things about this site that keeps me coming back to try again (at least so far) is tracking calories every day regardless of whether I stayed within a good range or completely blew it. I keep this site as my home page, too. Something about seeing those numbers every day even when I've completely lost interest in eating right and exercising makes me come back to try again instead of just forgetting about it completely.
  • tladame
    tladame Posts: 465 Member
    Definitely point her over here and show her the Success Stories board. There is a lot of inspiration there, especially all the before & after pictures! Maybe she'll see someone's story and think, if she can do it, I can do it.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,648 Member
    If your better half joins I'll be her friend!
  • heleflump
    heleflump Posts: 57
    Find a dog rescue centre - or an elderly person who can't walk their dog and offer to walk them. Altruistic, healthy and you get to have fun with an eternally grateful animal - never fails to lift my spirits (make sure it's a young dog tho - old ones go VERY slow!!! (unless you carry them!) Good luck - it's all about her mindset and being the right time - I've needed to lose weight since birth - it's only now that I see this as a way of life rather than a "diet" that I it seems right and I no longer resent the choices I am making - may take time - but if it lasts forever - who cares!! It's so lovely that you care - but you may get longer lasting results if you act by stealth - hence the volunteering idea!! :wink:
  • qwe3nz
    qwe3nz Posts: 29
    Was thinking of doing that.
    She really wants to get ontop of it, just needs to have that "moment".

    The moment when you realise you NEED it. Rather than WANT it.

    Once these goals become a NEED, then everything falls into place.

    How can i influence this!? lol.

    EDIT: Already offering to do it with her. I've had her pick up some weights twice before. We were walking together 3 times a week a few months back, but she just lost interest.
    Currently trying to insert the idea of throwing around my evil russian friend.

    If she REALLY wanted it she would do it. Simple as that but just tell her to do it gradually eg start with cutting down on soda and then weaning herself off it. Its like cigarettes your more likely to relapse if you go cold turkey then if you gradually cut down over time.
  • imkegoal
    imkegoal Posts: 156 Member
    Does your wife want to loose weight,... or do you want her to?

    Maybe she isn't motivated because she really isn't that unhappy with her looks.

    Its like stopping smoking- you can't do it until you really want to do it.
    When she is ready for it she will, and then you can introduce her to this site and help her by exercising with her, making her health meals (you can already do that now) and generally encouraging her.

    untill then; enjoy the extra curves!
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