Antisocial!

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rebawagner
rebawagner Posts: 199 Member
in Motivation and Support
My friends want to go out tonight (well, every night) and I just don't think I have the self-control yet. I am doing good logging, tracking, and staying focused… they will want to drink and eat crap (empty calories) I think I will give in! My willpower is not quite strong enough yet... Will this ever go away? Have you ever felt this way?

Replies

  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Simply put its a matter of choices. Having a social drink and an hour with friends is fine as long as you log the drink. But its up to you to put on your biggirl pants and say no thanks. Or maybe you could suggest something diffrent like a movie night or something more active.
  • rebawagner
    rebawagner Posts: 199 Member
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    But its up to you to put on your biggirl pants and say no thanks.
    ...my big girl panties don't fit yet... but I am working on it :wink:
  • visiri
    visiri Posts: 173 Member
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    LOL to your panties not fitting yet.

    I'm fairly new, but I have nights that I know I'm going to have more than I would normally. I make sure that I have calories banked for the affair and then just pay attention to what is going into my mouth. If I know where I'm going and what the food is, I do some research ahead of time so that I have a plan in mind of how much I can eat - that helps me stay on track. And then, when I get home, I use the quick tools and zero out my calories for the day and call it a night. ;o)

    You need to have some fun - otherwise life is just no fun!!!
  • cypher300
    cypher300 Posts: 10
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    I've been there, numerous, numerous, times! I start a new routine, and my buddies want me to go have a beer (or 10) at their house while playing video games. Honestly, it's all about moderation and, as has been posted before by kdorosh, tracking. There is no better motivator than guilt. Just because we're trying to lose weight and feel better doesn't mean we can't go out and have fun!

    A lot of bars will have celery that normally come with wings. Since I LOVE wings, and found that I couldn't really have them anymore (at least, not as often), I would look for substitutes...i.e. the celery with a side of their hottest wing sauce. The heat kept me from eating too much, the celery was good fibrous roughage, and I still got the taste with 1/10th the calories!

    As for drinks....spirits are your best bang for the caloric buck. You get to be a little tipsy and, if you need to mix it, go for a low/no calorie (Coke Zero, etc) and then nurse that drink like you were a newborn.

    Here's the thing: you DO have the willpower to not give in to temptation, you DO have the willpower to say "no" to the bad bar foods, and you DO have the ability to get through this! We all know it, now it's time for you to know it!

    Is there any one of your friends that would help being a responsibility partner? Trust in them to help you resist temptation even if your other friends are pressing you? A little extra muscle never hurts :)
  • wwk10
    wwk10 Posts: 244 Member
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    My belief:
    At some point you have to go out to feed your soul.
    Drink good liquor with good friends
    Enjoy fried chicken and mac and cheese made by an 80 year old country lady
    Enjoy a steak to celebrate something etc.

    But at the beginning of my quest for fitness I have to be careful not to categorize everything as a green light.

    Oh I never see them so I will splurge.
    I have been waiting so long to go to this restaurant so I will splurge.
    Its a work related social event so I will drink etc.

    So eventually go
    Now? I dont know, maybe.
  • atlantapiper
    atlantapiper Posts: 133 Member
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    I try to log my stuff in before I go out and then hold myself to that standard. You can have some fun if you plan and just tell yourself you are NOT having the tortilla chips/salsa or the dessert or whatever you haven't planned for.
  • andy2486
    andy2486 Posts: 93 Member
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    You could always go online and see if the restaurant has a menu on their website. Choose something sensible and log it before you go. That way you know what you are eating, and how much and it will be harder to stray off of that choice. I know how you feel, I have been there and honestly, I still have trouble with eating out. Sometimes I am strong and get a salad or chicken and sometimes I give in and get a burger and fries. But if you deny yourself these things too often, eventually you will give in and go overboard (been there too :happy: ). Having a night out once in a while with friends gives your mind the break of always thinking about the calorie counting. You have been working hard at it, like Cypher300 said "Just because we're trying to lose weight and feel better doesn't mean we can't go out and have fun!"
  • kahlee2000
    kahlee2000 Posts: 77
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    Enlist your friends help. Explain to them why you are making the food choices you are -- I was amazed at how many people became part of my support system when they realized I was serious about my weight loss. They can be a great asset, and you still get to hang out with them.
  • CharityPearce
    CharityPearce Posts: 215
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    I've been there, numerous, numerous, times! I start a new routine, and my buddies want me to go have a beer (or 10) at their house while playing video games. Honestly, it's all about moderation and, as has been posted before by kdorosh, tracking. There is no better motivator than guilt. Just because we're trying to lose weight and feel better doesn't mean we can't go out and have fun!

    A lot of bars will have celery that normally come with wings. Since I LOVE wings, and found that I couldn't really have them anymore (at least, not as often), I would look for substitutes...i.e. the celery with a side of their hottest wing sauce. The heat kept me from eating too much, the celery was good fibrous roughage, and I still got the taste with 1/10th the calories!

    As for drinks....spirits are your best bang for the caloric buck. You get to be a little tipsy and, if you need to mix it, go for a low/no calorie (Coke Zero, etc) and then nurse that drink like you were a newborn.



    ^^This^^ there are decent choices to be had almost everywhere. ; ) Go when you're ready and I bet you make great choices. Good luck!

    Here's the thing: you DO have the willpower to not give in to temptation, you DO have the willpower to say "no" to the bad bar foods, and you DO have the ability to get through this! We all know it, now it's time for you to know it!

    Is there any one of your friends that would help being a responsibility partner? Trust in them to help you resist temptation even if your other friends are pressing you? A little extra muscle never hurts :)

    ^^This^^ And good luck!
  • mjbrenner
    mjbrenner Posts: 222 Member
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    If your friends are the type that are supportive of your positive life change, use them when you are ready. My friends love to eat crap, but they also support my eating strategy. They don't pressure me to have a drink or a snack when I say I can't, and my own need to feel accountable in front of them prevents little "mistakes" on my part.

    If your friends are keen it, you might eventually suggest that you go to a national chain bar, like Friday's. That way you can look up the nutritional info on any food or drinks you might want ahead of time, so you can go in with a "safe" list already entered into MFP.

    More importantly, I understand wanting to play it safe while you are still testing your own limits when it comes to self control. Good luck on the road ahead!
  • blondejillie
    blondejillie Posts: 305 Member
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    @atlantapiper is right... helps to plan ahead what you're having and log it into MFP and then challenge yourself to hold to that target. You can generally check the menu online and make your plan of attack ahead of time. It can be tough after a cocktail or two not to overindulge though, so having a buddy along to help you is great too. Cheers!
  • bms34b
    bms34b Posts: 401 Member
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    Yep, Coke zero and vodka. Sip it nice and slow, and try not to snack too much! Have fun girl!
  • mandi9041
    mandi9041 Posts: 31 Member
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    Offer to be their Designated Driver! Then burn lots of calories dancing. :)
  • cypher300
    cypher300 Posts: 10
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    I try to log my stuff in before I go out and then hold myself to that standard. You can have some fun if you plan and just tell yourself you are NOT having the tortilla chips/salsa or the dessert or whatever you haven't planned for.

    Ohh..what a fantastic idea!! I'm stealing this :)
  • thesuperchunk
    thesuperchunk Posts: 33
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    I believe that eating and drinking and having fun is absolutely vital to enjoying life. You shouldn't be denying yourself fun or enjoyment unless that is specifically the thing that is causing your displeasure with your body (i.e. extra fat). If it's something you do once and a while I doubt it's the problem (if you go out and eat at restaurants and drink every day, than it probably is :)).

    Pretty much every expert says you have to cheat to succeed and I agree 100%. It isn't quitting smoking where one smoke may well hook you all over again - a few hundred (or thousand) extra calories here and there isn't going to change anything in the long run, but feeling deprived and like you are not allowed to relax and enjoy the good things in ilfe (like food) WILL eventually cause most people to break down and give up.

    I'm sure not everyone will agree, but I think cheating (if it's for fun, not for boredem or punishment) is downright necessary.

    Honestly, I'm not sure why anyone would want to "get through" a night out with friends...isn't the point of positive lifestyle changes to feel better and be happier? Well...slamming a bag of chips and 3 cokes down your throat isn't contributing to happiness, so that's what you need to be skipping. 800 extra calories worth of beer and nachos with friends actually is, most likely, contributing to your happiness and accounts to practically nothing in the grand scheme of eating well even for 1 week...

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