Would you say something about an MFP friend's friends?

Angelabec
Angelabec Posts: 505 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
I have a friend on here who only has a small amount (about 10 or 15 lbs) to lose, who is finding it difficult, not only to stick to her plan, but also to accept that it's going to take a while to get there even when she is on track.

I have noticed recently that she has a lot of very thin girls on her friend list (it first came to my attention when I got a friend request from one of them). These girls seem to have unhealthily low target weight, and eat very restrictively, to the point where it seems like they have or are bordering on an eating disorder.

My friend is an adult, not a young girl, so part of me thinks I should mind my own business, but at the same time, I am worried that she is getting bad advice from these people.

So, should I voice my concerns, or stay out of it?

Replies

  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
    I would just try to be a supportive friend to your actual friend, and comment whenever you see something that you feel like you have something helpful to say but don't go out of your way to say anything about the other girls on her list. I see that a lot too and unfortunately there is nothing that you can say that will help some of the girls on here with real problems.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    In all honesty I think the right thing to do is voice. Friends are there to give you advice. I'd hope that my friends would X
  • Angelabec
    Angelabec Posts: 505 Member
    Well, thank you for the replies, even though they are two completely different opinions. Perhaps I will wait a bit longer, just keep encouraging her as best I can to do it safely, and see if these others keep commenting or if her eating patterns change for the worse. I really don't like to interfere with what other people do, but at the same time I just don't want her to do anything silly.
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 731 Member
    A bit mean maybe, but if the friends comments were of the pro-ANA type I'd probably message her to ask if she was ok if she seemed to be taking the advice onboard, then ultimately if it was bothering me I'd probably remove her. What she does as an adult is entirely up to her, but there's not much I could do virtually to stop a self destruct pattern but it wouldn't help me personally to sit and watch it - you need a positive, healthy bunch (other than the odd holiday and off week) in order for you to succeed, it's about you too x
  • debbiemesser
    debbiemesser Posts: 5 Member
    all you can do is voice your concerns to her and hope that some part of what you say sinks in. be there to support her no matter what happens afterwards.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    As an adult she is able to chose for herself, I wouldn't meddle, you may lose the friendship.
  • kriggs1976
    kriggs1976 Posts: 117
    A bit mean maybe, but if the friends comments were of the pro-ANA type I'd probably message her to ask if she was ok if she seemed to be taking the advice onboard, then ultimately if it was bothering me I'd probably remove her. What she does as an adult is entirely up to her, but there's not much I could do virtually to stop a self destruct pattern but it wouldn't help me personally to sit and watch it - you need a positive, healthy bunch (other than the odd holiday and off week) in order for you to succeed, it's about you too x

    I could not have said it better myself :)
  • Fit4_Life
    Fit4_Life Posts: 828 Member
    As an adult she is able to chose for herself, I wouldn't meddle, you may lose the friendship.

    I totally agree ^^
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