So Sick of all the people that say - you just have to....

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onek9lover
onek9lover Posts: 58
in Motivation and Support
I am so sick of telling everyone that I am trying to lose weight and they say....

"you just have to work out" or "you just have to diet" or "you just have to eat low carb" - funny - these statements are not coming from the most physcially fit or athletic people I know either... I am doing all of it and still having problems and I am just getting so sick of everyone that thinks they know better.

I mean really... my friend who drinks a liter of alcohol on the weekend is telling me I ate too many calories yesterday cause I ate 1575 and went to the gym and did 47 mins on the elliptical. Give me a break!

So frustrating.
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Replies

  • mzjandiace
    mzjandiace Posts: 162
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    It's because they don't understand! There going by what the see on TV or read or even heard, but until they walk in your shoes they won't get it! Tell your friend to quit drinking and give there kidney a break...Im just saying!
  • onek9lover
    onek9lover Posts: 58
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    It's because they don't understand! There going by what the see on TV or read or even heard, but until they walk in your shoes they won't get it! Tell your friend to quit drinking and give there kidney a break...Im just saying!

    Thanks! I'm glad you feel the same way! Its so annoying!!
  • mitch1066
    mitch1066 Posts: 2
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    We have a friend that secretly had the slimband done so now hes all preachy about weightloss and fitness.For years he struggled and was miserable with yo yo dieting.......oh how quickly they forget.
  • jpapale
    jpapale Posts: 14
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    I agree ... those people who say "you just have to _________" don't understand what all is really involved in that little JUST! If it were really JUST that easy, then there wouldn't be so many people struggling :)

    If you hit a hard spot I have heard that changing up your routine or your diet a little bit can help jumpstart again... this is just what i've heard/read. I'm only 4 weeks into this so I haven't had that yet.

    Good Luck
  • KateB1982
    KateB1982 Posts: 107 Member
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    If it was that easy, everybody would be fit!
  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    That is why I never let anyone know about my "lifestyle changes." People think they know better. Its easy to sit on the sidelines but until you are in the thick of it I don't want to hear your "ideas." So unless people are being supportive wtih ideas or wanting to exchange tips I politely remind them that I never ASKED for help :drinker:
  • onek9lover
    onek9lover Posts: 58
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    That is why I never let anyone know about my "lifestyle changes." People think they know better. Its easy to sit on the sidelines but until you are in the thick of it I don't want to hear your "ideas." So unless people are being supportive wtih ideas or wanting to exchange tips I politely remind them that I never ASKED for help :drinker:

    I think thats a good idea - maybe I will just keep it to myself from now on. I think I get way too frustrated listening to everyone be know it alls, they certainly are not putting in the time and effort I am.
  • Mina50
    Mina50 Posts: 3
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    I would have to say it is mostly ignorance on their part. I’m embarrassed to say, I use to be one of (those) people when I was in my early 20s, then age & gravity hit me. Age in some ways is a beautiful thing, but gravity is always bad. I wish I knew then what I know now.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    ME too!!

    Part of it's also becasue some people don't have the struggles we (or, at least, *I*) have. I know several naturally high-metabolism super thin people who never work out. I also know many average sized folks who, with a little portion control and running a mile here and there, can easily drop a few pounds. They're always quick to say, "If you just..." or "You just have to..."

    BUT for me it takes a LOT of work to see results and then to maintain those results. And those folks don't realize how MUCH effort it takes me, becasue it doesn't take that much effort for THEM.

    I've had to accept the fact that this is something I will always struggle with and have to work harder at, just like some people struggle with math or sewing or being a good parent (all things I do!) :-)
  • luvdooney33
    luvdooney33 Posts: 15
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    I get annoyed by those know it all people too.. everyone is different.. and it took a while for me to find what actually works best for ME! as well as my schedule and picky eating habits..
  • tatertotfishstick
    tatertotfishstick Posts: 91 Member
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    I worked in a health food store for years, and customers would come in constantly wanting a "diet pill"... there is no such thing. If there was a pill that could help you lose weight... we would all be a size 2 ! This magic pill does not exist! There are fiber pills (can only help keep you regular), laxatives (bad idea), diuretics (bad for kidneys), and pills that increase your metabolism, but they will make you jittery, moody and cause damage to your heart long term. There is no magic way to lose weight. We have to be responsible for calories in and calories out. But even then, there are always other factors like hormones, thyroid, and disease (like diabetes) that still effect the scale. Support is VERY important... when people try to dismiss how difficult this journey is they are not supporting us effectively. It's like telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking. It takes a village.
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
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    Thats true on not letting "certain" people know about what you're doing. I also hate being asked but some "how much have you lost" and when I said the last few weeks, nothing, they just look at you like you're a failure...I just keep it to myself, been yo-yoing for about 30 years now and hopefully this is my last time around!
  • tatertotfishstick
    tatertotfishstick Posts: 91 Member
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    That is why I never let anyone know about my "lifestyle changes." People think they know better. Its easy to sit on the sidelines but until you are in the thick of it I don't want to hear your "ideas." So unless people are being supportive wtih ideas or wanting to exchange tips I politely remind them that I never ASKED for help :drinker:

    I think thats a good idea - maybe I will just keep it to myself from now on. I think I get way too frustrated listening to everyone be know it alls, they certainly are not putting in the time and effort I am.

    but this is why it is nice to have MFP, so we can all support one another in our lifestyle changes. I believe in you.
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
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    I read this article a while ago and think it might be a good idea: http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-12-28/health/sc-health-1221-secret-diet-20111228_1_weight-loss-plans-weight-watchers-diet-plans

    I've really only told my super close friends about what I'm trying to do and if people ask me why I'm on the phone while we're out to eat (to log calories) I just tell them - oh sorry - got a text.

    Someone's always going to know better than you, but I think you can tell those folks that you were just venting, not seeking their advice, or that while you appreciate their input, what works for them may be not what works for you, so you're just trying your own thing for now.
  • Jamiewoodle
    Jamiewoodle Posts: 100 Member
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    Tell me about it! I work with a bunch of Military men who eat whatever they want and say the same kinda things! I'm still working out what is right for me. I set my calories at 1,310. I'm 5'4". They were originally at 1200 but I was stuck so I uped them and now the scale is just begining to move again. My sister in-law set hers at 1,000 even (she's 4'8) and has lost over 35lbs! We're all built different.

    I've been reading studys that are showing people who eat a large breakfast (500-600) calories that incude plenty of protein and carbs lose weight faster than those who eat small(250-350) breakfasts or none at all (all eating same TOTAL daily calories). I'd have to really skimp on dinner or snacks to make up for it on non-work out days.

    I think I'm going to try reducing my carbs through out the day so dinners will be lowest in carbs breakfasts the highest. Maybe this will work better for me.
  • 42micheller42
    42micheller42 Posts: 36
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    Yes Yes Yes ...I am afraid I am guilty of saying "'You know what you should do .. blah blah blau ..I lost over 50 pounds ..this is how I did it ....blah blah blah" Then I have gained 20 pounds in this last year by not taking my own advice !!! I love the advice someone gave about keeping your new lifestyle to yourself !!! No more unsolicited and disouraging advice. I just joined this site this morning ....here goes ...
  • sgtchester
    sgtchester Posts: 20 Member
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    It does seem that everyone has an opinion on how do to absolutely anything, whether they know what they're talking about or not. There also isn't really a best way to do anything. Just what's going to work for you.
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
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    I think it's because people like to think they're only one quick step away from being fit. It reassures them that they haven't really let themselves go TOO much, just a little bit. It's kind of the "I can quit any time I want to" mentality.
  • liog
    liog Posts: 347 Member
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    I've told my husband and health care providers, but no one else just for this reason. It's like being pregnant, everyone thinks they need to offer advice and everyone thinks they know better than you do. I try to only give advice on any subject when it is asked for. This is what is nice about this site, you can ask questions and vent and share struggles and successes without much negative feedback.
  • Ambr
    Ambr Posts: 53 Member
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    That is why I never let anyone know about my "lifestyle changes." People think they know better. Its easy to sit on the sidelines but until you are in the thick of it I don't want to hear your "ideas." So unless people are being supportive wtih ideas or wanting to exchange tips I politely remind them that I never ASKED for help :drinker:
    hmmm great idea

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