So Sick of all the people that say - you just have to....

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  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
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    As soon as some people found out I was doing something to lose weight, they did the same thing. It also came from people who were out of shape. I told someone I know I was counting calories and she interrupted me and said "NOPE, that's not how you do it. It's ALL about protein. You don't have to watch your calories, just eat high protein." I tried to explain that the method I'm using pretty much covers all of it, not just calories but she wouldn't be quiet.
    When my mom found out, I was fixing to eat a baked potato one day and she said "Carbs will make you fat. You're not supposed to eat them." I explained that I have a carb limit as well and eating a baked potato will not make me fat. She did this again another time after that.

    A lot of people think once they know you're trying to lose weight, they can give you unsolicited advice, or correct you on what you're doing.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    It's because they don't understand! There going by what the see on TV or read or even heard, but until they walk in your shoes they won't get it! Tell your friend to quit drinking and give there kidney a break...Im just saying!

    Thanks! I'm glad you feel the same way! Its so annoying!!

    So know how you feel. I had this friend (emphasis on HAD) who weighed roughly the same as I did, maybe one pants size smaller. She lost like 50 lbs super fast to the point where she almost looked sick. When I would struggle and get frustrated about not seeing a lot of progress she would say "you just have to cut your calories in half, that's what I do." Yeah. She took adderall (which decreases your appetite), smoked cigarettes, and at like 800 calories a day and lived off of SmartOnes. She also drank like every night but hardly ate anything. She would walk on the treadmill for like 30 minutes a few times a week and that's it.

    She thought she was in great shape bc she was so skinny. I finally go the point where I stopped being jealous of her rapid weight loss and started to appreciate the fact that although I've got 50lbs on her, I can lift a lot more weight than she can and I can run a hell of a lot further and faster than she can.

    Just know that by being on here you're doing the right thing and it's NOT as easy as "just" doing one simple thing. You've got this!
  • arettaballantyne
    arettaballantyne Posts: 3
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    Just remember that not everyone is a size 1. Some just don't understand when we decide to do something for ourselves. They don't count! You do!!!! Keep up with what you are doing and be proud of taking charge of your health. You will still be here when liver failure hits the drinker.
  • mindycal
    mindycal Posts: 6
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    everyone is different so what works for me may not work for you, and we all know that it is a lot of things that all add up to work, no one thing alone is going to magically make the pounds disappear. they didn't just pile up overnight and they will not just go away that way either! i used to get the same sort of "help" from people that had no real clue when i quit smoking, some of the people offering advice had never smoked and now that i am on this weight loss journey i get advice from people that have no weight issues whatsoever. but my satisfaction comes every time i step on the scale, so far i am down 92 pounds and still have a ways to go, but i'm not about to let a couple of folks without a clue bring me down, you shouldn't either :-) have a great day!!
  • Embell0830
    Embell0830 Posts: 105
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    Some people are just obnxious and some people actually mean well because maybe it worked for them in the past and something happened in their life that caused them to lose focus. We are all guilty of this on some level in some aspect of life, ie weightloss, relationships, work, etc.

    A lot of people myself included tend to forget that we are all different and we don't always know all the factors that make other people who/what they are.

    Just a suggestion if you are struggling with loss have you seen your doctor? If you haven't maybe ask about being tested for hypothyroidism or PCOS. Obviously I don't know your medical background, but these are two things I was diagnosed with that hinder my weightloss.
  • Devlyn_P
    Devlyn_P Posts: 294 Member
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    The most basic and cost effective way that works for me consistently is IIFIYM. Calculating maintenance and creating a deficit from that number then properly setting my macros based on my goal. Slow and steady wins the race, try to maintain a goal of 1-2lb loss a week. I wish you the best of luck!
  • tinattinat
    tinattinat Posts: 56 Member
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    Tell me about it! I work with a bunch of Military men who eat whatever they want and say the same kinda things! I'm still working out what is right for me. I set my calories at 1,310. I'm 5'4". They were originally at 1200 but I was stuck so I uped them and now the scale is just begining to move again. My sister in-law set hers at 1,000 even (she's 4'8) and has lost over 35lbs! We're all built different.

    I've been reading studys that are showing people who eat a large breakfast (500-600) calories that incude plenty of protein and carbs lose weight faster than those who eat small(250-350) breakfasts or none at all (all eating same TOTAL daily calories). I'd have to really skimp on dinner or snacks to make up for it on non-work out days.

    I think I'm going to try reducing my carbs through out the day so dinners will be lowest in carbs breakfasts the highest. Maybe this will work better for me.
    This is exactly what I do! I taper my carbs. Have the most at breakfast, very little, but usually none at dinner. If I'm desperate for a sweet treat, then I'll have a piece of fruit. But this rarely happens anymore. Significantly helped my cravings doing this.
  • tinattinat
    tinattinat Posts: 56 Member
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    Some people are just obnxious and some people actually mean well because maybe it worked for them in the past and something happened in their life that caused them to lose focus. We are all guilty of this on some level in some aspect of life, ie weightloss, relationships, work, etc.

    A lot of people myself included tend to forget that we are all different and we don't always know all the factors that make other people who/what they are.

    Just a suggestion if you are struggling with loss have you seen your doctor? If you haven't maybe ask about being tested for hypothyroidism or PCOS. Obviously I don't know your medical background, but these are two things I was diagnosed with that hinder my weightloss.
  • tinattinat
    tinattinat Posts: 56 Member
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    Some people are just obnxious and some people actually mean well because maybe it worked for them in the past and something happened in their life that caused them to lose focus. We are all guilty of this on some level in some aspect of life, ie weightloss, relationships, work, etc.

    A lot of people myself included tend to forget that we are all different and we don't always know all the factors that make other people who/what they are.

    Just a suggestion if you are struggling with loss have you seen your doctor? If you haven't maybe ask about being tested for hypothyroidism or PCOS. Obviously I don't know your medical background, but these are two things I was diagnosed with that hinder my weightloss.

    Stick with it. I had PCOS. Losing weight will cure that. If you eat a "diabetic" type diet, it will help with your weight loss. Good luck.
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
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    That is why I never let anyone know about my "lifestyle changes." People think they know better. Its easy to sit on the sidelines but until you are in the thick of it I don't want to hear your "ideas." So unless people are being supportive wtih ideas or wanting to exchange tips I politely remind them that I never ASKED for help :drinker:

    Hope516 nailed it! I'm doing what I'm doing for my reasons, not to hear what anyone else has to say about it. Let your progress do the talking for you. I aks for tips here and on Mark's Daily Apple as I follow his diet and exercise recomendations and that's pretty much it. Take what helps you discard the rest. Tell the armchair experts "I never ASKED for help" as Hope so eloquently put it!

    BTW Hope, 5/16 is my birthday! So besides your great attitude that I appreciate on this topic I think that is cool!
  • HotBodUnderConstruction
    HotBodUnderConstruction Posts: 420
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    I am so sick of telling everyone that I am trying to lose weight and they say....

    "you just have to work out" or "you just have to diet" or "you just have to eat low carb" - funny - these statements are not coming from the most physcially fit or athletic people I know either... I am doing all of it and still having problems and I am just getting so sick of everyone that thinks they know better.

    I mean really... my friend who drinks a liter of alcohol on the weekend is telling me I ate too many calories yesterday cause I ate 1575 and went to the gym and did 47 mins on the elliptical. Give me a break!

    So frustrating.

    I mean...you do "just" have to exercise and eat healthy. No, it's not easy to do this on a regular basis. It is very hard to exercise everyday, and stay within your macros...but really that's all there is to it. There will always be bumps down the road...you will overeat...you will be too tired to exercise...etc but yeah...at the end of the day it depends on how hard you workout and what goes in your mouth. And before everyone jumps down my throat...yes I used to be overweight and yes I have friends that are much thinner than me (and even people that are bigger) that tell me "what" to do...it just doesn't bother me? Oh well.
  • clouddancer7
    clouddancer7 Posts: 7 Member
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    I have a friend who is a large person and when I told her that I have lost like 22 lbs. (I lost some before I joined this site but put in my current weight at the time I joined so that I can keep better records on here) proceeded to tell me how to lose weight faster and better according to her. I just told her that if she knew how to lose weight, why wasn't she applying her own advice to herself because she needs it as much as I do. That shut her right up cause she knew I was right. Some people just don't understand that what may work for them may not work for someone else. We are all built differently.
  • tinamatteson
    tinamatteson Posts: 125 Member
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    That is why I never let anyone know about my "lifestyle changes." People think they know better. Its easy to sit on the sidelines but until you are in the thick of it I don't want to hear your "ideas." So unless people are being supportive wtih ideas or wanting to exchange tips I politely remind them that I never ASKED for help :drinker:

    I think thats a good idea - maybe I will just keep it to myself from now on. I think I get way too frustrated listening to everyone be know it alls, they certainly are not putting in the time and effort I am.

    You are so right! It's funny the way my overweight friends want to offer me advice like "Don't go to the gym so often or you'll burn out,"etc. I don't tell them anything anymore.
  • 57rainbows
    57rainbows Posts: 101 Member
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    "Great! Would you like to join me in my weight loss and fitness journey? See you at the gym! Let me know how your weigh in goes! Yay fitness buddies!"


    Okay, so you probably don't actually want to say that, but it can be tempting to toss it right back at them. If it's so easy, you should be in the shape of your life, buddy, so lets get busy!
  • skinnieminniemouse
    skinnieminniemouse Posts: 118
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    Everybody is different and loses at different rates, but anyone with common sense knows the only long lasting way to lose weight is healthy eating and exercise. Alcohol is stuffed to the brim with calories so your friend is being stupid, it annoys me when people moan that they aren't shifting any weight when they drink SO much every week! Also, your calorie intake was still below the recommended AND you did exercise! Your friend is chatting rubbish!!
  • onek9lover
    onek9lover Posts: 58
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    Some people are just obnxious and some people actually mean well because maybe it worked for them in the past and something happened in their life that caused them to lose focus. We are all guilty of this on some level in some aspect of life, ie weightloss, relationships, work, etc.

    A lot of people myself included tend to forget that we are all different and we don't always know all the factors that make other people who/what they are.

    Just a suggestion if you are struggling with loss have you seen your doctor? If you haven't maybe ask about being tested for hypothyroidism or PCOS. Obviously I don't know your medical background, but these are two things I was diagnosed with that hinder my weightloss.

    Actually I am seeing a metabolism and hormone specialist tomorrow - so exicted! I've been freaking out about it... Since Jan 2nd I have been going to the gym 4 days a week and I've only lost a couple lbs - like three or four. I am aslo watching what I eat so much more. I also play competitive sports twice a week and I am just at a breaking point, waiting to see some results... and even though I have been at about 1500 cals a day and working out - I need to cut back even more... like big time. But the hunger is hard.
  • onek9lover
    onek9lover Posts: 58
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    The worst part of all this has been people looking at me and I can tell they judge... they think I binge all night... truthfully I do have really nice meals out with my fiance.. or they think I am not active.. couldn't be further from the truth. Its just frustrating to look the way I do and work the way I do... okay PITY PARTY IS OVER

    thanks for all the amazing advice... I am glad everyone likes the post - I think we all know that feeling... there is some comfort in knowing (even if I don't look like it) that I am my peak physical stamina since my lowest weight... even if I don't show it, I will school you in an elliptical session!
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    I got told a few things at my heaviest. Mostly no carbs and not to run. At the time I did listen to the carbs part. I had diabetes and my doctor recommended I do a atkins light version of the diet. As for the running part, I never listened. I was told all the time that running @ 400+ lbs. was a bad idea by everyone. It just drove me harder to prove everyone wrong. Never once have I injured myself or anything. Did my homework, got properly fitted running shoes, and I go at my own pace.
  • tollgirl01
    tollgirl01 Posts: 1
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    yea I love those people,, just go to the gym, and you can eat whatever you want, oh yea, I work 2 jobs, really dont have time for the gym, unless you dont have to sleep...

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