Husbands....

froeschli
froeschli Posts: 1,293 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
Alright, I have to say losing weight was initially HIS idea. But he dawdled, so i ended up signing up here a week before him.

Now I got him to sign up, and start counting calories too.

He's allotted some more because he's more active at his job. BUT he likes a drink of an evening, a bigger breakfast etc.
It's his first day, and here I am eating my (new) normal way, actually having to find ways to add extra calories to get up to my 1500. So I buy steak for dinner.
Then it starts: "You lied to me!" "I'm eating too much meat!" "we have to re-work this whole diet thing"

at the end of the day, i am missing 500 calories, and he is 200 over.

Any suggestions as to how we can get to an even ground?

I really don't see many options apart from cutting down on his portion sizes. And how do I break it to him?

Replies

  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
    Tell him to suck it up. Healthy living is about portion control and eating mindfully. If it wasn't we'd all be super healthy with six pack abs.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Why are you responsible for him staying within his calories? :huh: My husband has a chronic medical condition and has to eat a lot or he crashes hard. We eat the same foods for meals that we are together - I just portion carefully and add veggies to fill me up.
  • shmunster
    shmunster Posts: 538 Member
    Yep, cut his portions and tell him to suck it up if he wants to lose weight and get healthy

    My husband whinged for 2 weeks when we cut his portions back but now he is fine and he doesnt want the gigantic servings and seconds every time he eats a meal, and is quite satisfied and full of energy
  • HeelsAndBoxingGloves
    HeelsAndBoxingGloves Posts: 916 Member
    You gotta tell him it's all about the portions! I only cook 1 meal for my boyfriend and me and he's not worried about calories so he eats how ever much he wants and I portion mine out to what I want/need calorie wise.
  • 41degsouth
    41degsouth Posts: 40
    His goal needs to be his goal. The whole point of this system is that it gives you feedback on what will happen depending on how much you choose to eat (and exercise). Once he's accurately measuring his calories, it's his choice how much to eat, and thus whether he will gail, maintain, or lose weight. If it becomes you vs. him, that's disaster. He's probably got a higher target than you anyway (men are on average taller, etc) so in the long run, he still "gets to" eat more than you.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Why are you in charge of how much he eats? My husband and I take turns cooking, and if he's cooking, he keeps track of what he's putting in, and I can measure or weigh out how much I want to eat. Try looking up the food before you eat so you aren't surprised by the number later. Eating more vegetables like a big salad or steamed broccoli will help bulk up the meal without adding a lot of calories or fat. For you, grab an extra couple ounces of steak. Make sure you're measuring stuff because people tend to estimate less than what they're actually eating.

    Accusing you of lying is pretty harsh unless you're sneaking lard into his food to sabotage him. He is ultimately in charge of what he's putting in his mouth, there's no gun to his head... I think. :-P
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    You're not going to have the hang of this on Day 1. Figuring out how to stay around your goal while being full isn't just going to appear to you. It takes some trial and error. Get a food scale if you don't have one. And it really is about portion control. I eat the same stuff my wife does....just more of it.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    Alright, I have to say losing weight was initially HIS idea. But he dawdled, so i ended up signing up here a week before him.

    Now I got him to sign up, and start counting calories too.

    He's allotted some more because he's more active at his job. BUT he likes a drink of an evening, a bigger breakfast etc.
    It's his first day, and here I am eating my (new) normal way, actually having to find ways to add extra calories to get up to my 1500. So I buy steak for dinner.
    Then it starts: "You lied to me!" "I'm eating too much meat!" "we have to re-work this whole diet thing"

    at the end of the day, i am missing 500 calories, and he is 200 over.

    Any suggestions as to how we can get to an even ground?

    I really don't see many options apart from cutting down on his portion sizes. And how do I break it to him?

    This is where you are going to have to get to be a dab-hand at maths. Weigh everything for a start because your portions may be different from his portion sizes. The weights of say, meat, will be extremely important and you will both end up with different size steaks or whatever on your plates at the same meal.

    You;ll have to spell it out for him that your calories allowances are different and whereas he likes a big breakfast, you do not. Whereas he likes a drink, you will most likely not be doing that, therefore you will be allowed different size portions at mealtimes.

    Whatever you do, do not let him inadvertently ruin your calorie count or portions, ensure you look after yourself first.
  • Audddua
    Audddua Posts: 176 Member
    I really don't see many options apart from cutting down on his portion sizes. And how do I break it to him?

    /\ that exactly. you'll have to be delicate and use everything you've learned about how to tell him something he doesn't want to hear (you have to have some tactics by now right??).

    For instance, with my boyfriend I have to steer him towards the answer and let him think he came up with it on his own :devil: I'd sit him down in front of a computer with his diary open and say, "how do you think we can help you reach your goals?" and then just listen. After a while pull up your diary and show him your calorie deficit and say, "how can we work together to reach our goals?" and then just listen. It's obvious that he need to cut his portion sizes down or just doesn't need to eat the same things your eating. If he's like my boyfriend he just needs to talk through it and have an ah-ha moment.

    good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • rmwinters
    rmwinters Posts: 288 Member
    Make your own food if you don't like what I cook. HA!
  • spikess
    spikess Posts: 113 Member
    buy him a set of scales an point him in the direction of the kitchen.

    failing that, cook like usual but get him to serve himself so he's responsible for his portion size.
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,293 Member
    thanks guys, yup, i guess you're right. i just hate his whining. at least the dog isn't on a diet (yet). the both of them i couldn't handle...
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,293 Member
    lol, i told him it's either HALF a steak, or 2 low fat chicken patties. yopu should have seen his face :laugh:
    he voted steak, but he's planning on revisiting his eating habits and coming up with a plan tomorrow. today just showed him what he's been doing wrong...
  • bugs5697
    bugs5697 Posts: 85
    thanks guys, yup, i guess you're right. i just hate his whining. at least the dog isn't on a diet (yet). the both of them i couldn't handle...

    Oh boy... I'm dreading ^^that^^ day....
    ack

    godspeed
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Less drinky, more thinky. :-)
    Planning always helps. Particularly since you can plan in some kind of indulgent treat, and knowing its waiting for you keeps you from going hog wild on other stuff all day long.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories