Deadly Habit

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mariiarocci
mariiarocci Posts: 18
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm a 21 year old college student and am currently in one of the lowest points of my life. I was diagnosed "anorexic with bulimic tendencies" a year ago and have been in and out of treatment. I'm being forced to graduate college a year early in order to seek full-time treatment and live away from the "pressures" (as my doctors say) my sorority/college lifestyle puts on me.

Since I live in a sorority house I am no longer able to purge (vomit) what I eat like I used to, so I've resorted to excessive laxative use. It has become an addiction - I now have to take at least two every time I eat something in fear the fat will stick. I'm constantly sick and dehydrated from this.

I just want to recover but things just keep getting worse. I'm NOT looking for attention and am NOT "pro-ana" in any way. I WANT help. If anyone has information pertaining to excessive laxative use, please contact me. I can't live my life like this anymore.

Replies

  • Fred4point0
    Fred4point0 Posts: 160 Member
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    Ask the LORD for help. There's no addiction that he can't deliver you from. All you have to do is call on the name of Jesus. He knows where to find you but He will not help you unless you ask. Ask Him today.
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
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    I am ( forever ) recovering from Anorexia. All I can tell you is that you need professional counseling and need to work on your body image. NOTHING helped me more than realizing that I looked sick and looked disgusting. NOTHING was worse than realizing the horror in people's face was NOT because I was fat, but because they were scared for me.

    It is so hard. It is so much work. Three kids later, and almost a hundred pounds heavier than my lowest weight... I battle that demon every day.

    Much love to you.
  • myopus
    myopus Posts: 321 Member
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    [...]I'm being forced to graduate college a year early in order to seek full-time treatment [...]

    If you're seeking full-time treatment for this, you're probably seeing a physician or specialist - if not, please see one.
    National Eating Disorders Association
    www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
    Information & Referral Helpline: 800.931.2237
  • huck23
    huck23 Posts: 116 Member
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    there is know simple answer you are in the same boat as a smoker or acoholic, and there is no fast recovery. from your picture you are not over weight and i understand that you think you are, i can relate because i used to be a heavy drinker and sometimes fall off for a day or 2, it is not easy and i don't feel totally successful yet. friend me if you want and i will try to help, i think you are reaching out for help and that is a good thing.
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 535 Member
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    I don't know much about the effects of over using laxatives on your body, but I googled it because reading about your story worried me. Here's the link that I found:

    http://www.bulimia.com/client/client_pages/laxativeabuse.cfm

    Side effects as indicated on that site:

    People who abuse laxatives often find themselves in a no-win situation. They use laxatives to "feel thin," which is an immediate, positive result. Eventually, however, the exact opposite occurs. They find themselves "feeling fat" from excessive water retention—a delayed, negative result.

    Common side effects of laxative withdrawal are:

    • constipation
    • fluid retention
    • feeling bloated
    • temporary weight gain
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    Start putting yourself first. I know that I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but I do know what it's like to have a poor body image. Nobody deserves to treat themselves so poorly. You deserve to be happy. Tracey Gold is a well known celebrity (from my generation) who has gone through her own struggles with eating disorders. Look her up to find out more about her. Here's a link to what looks to be her site:

    http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/starving-secrets-with-tracey-gold

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    Remember that you are worth enough for you to fight for!

    Good Luck!
  • mariiarocci
    mariiarocci Posts: 18
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    You all are so amazing. Thank you SO much for your warm responses :)
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
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    Ask the LORD for help. There's no addiction that he can't deliver you from. All you have to do is call on the name of Jesus. He knows where to find you but He will not help you unless you ask. Ask Him today.

    I seriously doubt thats the solution... ^

    I would look for a support group, even if it is only online, or see your doctor maybe they could find a way to help you get off of them. I always though about taking them, but I know like anything else your body will get used to it, and I pick up habits quick :/
  • Stoonloveskeith
    Stoonloveskeith Posts: 46 Member
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    I don't have any words of wisdom for you as I was diagnosed with Bulimia in the past but I will keep you in my prayers and please go get some help...you are an amazingly beautiful person and deserve all the happiness in the world.
  • elsinora
    elsinora Posts: 398 Member
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    I am so sorry to hear about your situation and really feel for you. It's a good thing that are are seeking professional help and that you are getting some advice or care. Look, i dont want to freak you out but i wante to write the following in the hope that you immediately stop abusing laxatives.

    My friend had the same (anorexia with a binge purge subtype) and resorted to laxative abuse and it ruined her digestive system. She has to have a colostomy bag because her colon ruptured from prolonged usage. The thing is, is that laxatives do not make you lose weight either. Your calories are absorbed in the first set of intestines and laxatives just purge the leftovers in the lower bowel so laxatives do nothing- absolutely nothing - to rid your body of calories. My friend knew this but kept doing it because she hated the feeling of having anything in her.

    You are just so young and have a chance to turn this around and while it will be a long journey to recovery, and you are definitely doing the right thing by asking for help and getting help, number 1 thing is to stop the laxatives now.
  • mfpseven
    mfpseven Posts: 421 Member
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    the fact that you want to change is sooooo great. You really have to decide for yourself to not do it any longer and when you feel pressured to revert to old habits remember that you knew it was a bad idea and it still is. Being healthy is not conditional, you have to seee yourself well and work for it every day without making exceptions. "Just for today" can take you back months of work. Best of luck! Remember you aren't alone, there are countless others here for support.
  • a_acosta80
    a_acosta80 Posts: 43
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    I truly know that you CAN do this. You are strong women and very smart. It will be hard and falling of the wagon and getting back on is normal. I think it just makes you stronger.
    Stay strong. Talk openly to your therapist be honest with yourself. Be honest with your support system.
    I wish you the best of luck
  • ttillman19
    ttillman19 Posts: 54 Member
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    You are taking great steps to help yourself by reaching out, seeking help, and other people who have been there. For the laxatives you will need to taper them gradually. I would recommend a support group until you can get to full-time treatment. Know that you are beautiful just as you, not what others think.
  • Jenny_Bee
    Jenny_Bee Posts: 102
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    I can't offer any kind of wisdom, but I can tell you that you're so brave. I have seen friends overcome this, and I believe you can too. I don't know how much it means to you, but we were all made in the image of God; beautiful and unique. Try to remember that you are are beautiful and created for a purpose. I will remember you in prayer today hoping that you feel encouraged and loved. <3
  • Jen2Bfit
    Jen2Bfit Posts: 125 Member
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    This really hits home with me. I have not been diagnosed bulemic but it seems that if not careful I could see myself headed that way. Only due to my thoughts, especially when I have bad eating days. I have in the past used laxatives and have seen how quickly it can be addicting. It gave me the freedom to eat as I wanted and not gain weight. Problem is that it is deadly indeed. Lately my thoughts have resurfaced and once again on bad days I think of using the laxatives. It is a struggle in my own mind to not go forward with it and do it. I have to remind myself that all of the weight I have lost in the last year was done naturally and can be continued naturally. Everyone has bad eating days I have to tell myself, and it is ok as long as I get back on track. I hope the feelings pass soon about the laxative abuse, as that is where my head can quickly take me these days. Thank you for writing this, as it makes me more aware that I have to watch myself, as I am heading down the wrong path. There is help out there, and I would advise that you listen adn follow all of your doctors guidelines. It is something that will not ever go away, as I have to remind myself of this as well. I will more than likely suffer these thoughts for the rest of my life while watching my weight, the important thing is that today we do not have to act on them. Add me as a friend if you want, I will support you however I can. :smile:
  • mariiarocci
    mariiarocci Posts: 18
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    You are all such absolutely wonderful, beautiful people. I've saved all your posts and look at them every time I think about doing something destructive. I will be receiving full-time treatment once I graduate. For now I just need to do my best to avoid bad behaviors.

    Love you all :)
  • myopus
    myopus Posts: 321 Member
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    You are all such absolutely wonderful, beautiful people. I've saved all your posts and look at them every time I think about doing something destructive. I will be receiving full-time treatment once I graduate. For now I just need to do my best to avoid bad behaviors.

    Love you all :)

    Love your reply... definitely keep us posted :smile:

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