I need help. (very, very serious issue)

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samantha115
samantha115 Posts: 371
in Motivation and Support
So I finished a bootcamp work out on june 17 and I had lost 12 pounds. The past two days I dont know what wrong with me I just cant seem to stop eating (bad things) I try and get the good things and most of the time I do, but last night for dinner I went to a mexican resturant and got what I thought was healty, chicken tacos, the chicken was in a greasy sauce (so very good by the way) but after I ate them my stomach started hurting so bad. When we got home, after everyone went inside, I went back outside and made myself throw up. I know what I did was wrong in so many ways, when I was done I felt much better. Which brings me to today. Because I had a such a surge of calories last night I ate a bowl or raisin bran for breakfast. Good right. Well for lunch I went to taco bell and got a taco salad. after logging it in and seeing it was over 600 calories, I went to the bathroom here at work and tried to throw up as much as I could. I know that this is the start of something very unhealthy. I dont want to do it but after I see how much something is and how nasty I feel after eating, it just seems right. I am no where near under weight, in fact I could be considered obese(ugly word). I dont want to do this but i think it might be necessary after some meals. I know that this is wrong. I know that it is a terrible thing. I just need to confess what I did. It has only been twice that i have done it. I know that if I let myself continue it will get much worse. I dont feel bad after I do it, but eventually i know I will. i do hear a voice in my head every once and a while saying its ok to do it. I know its wrong. I just needed to vent. I know this should really be a blog but I need to hear people telling me to stop. Thats all for now.

Replies

  • HeatherD
    HeatherD Posts: 75 Member
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    Please. please STOP! You will only end up hurting yourself.

    Please stop!
  • skywalker
    skywalker Posts: 1,533
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    Yes, this is a very dangerous road you're taking. For me, since I started this program, I don't eat anything before logging it, for the most part. If I'm planning on going out to eat, I look for the nutrition info on that restaurant. Besides this site, there are others you can use to get info or at least a good estimate. If you do eat "too much" or feel you've "cheated", just move on and learn from it. Before you stop for fast food or something you think you may regret, ask yourself if you're likely to feel like forcing yourself to vomit afterwards. Or, maybe just do a bit more exercise and try to work it off. I'm planning a 50-100miles on my bike for the 4th of July weekend as I know there will be cookouts all weekend with lots of food and drinks. Binging and purging is not the way to healthy, permanent weight loss.


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  • SkinnyMummy
    SkinnyMummy Posts: 4
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    Please, I beg you, to stop. Its a very slippery road that you are on, you can say to yourself that you can stop at anytime or that it'll be the last time that you do it, but the more you make yourself sick, the more you will want to, and will, continue to do it. So stop now before you do yourself some real damage.

    I suffered the same problem for about 7 years, but at one point it got so bad that it took over my whole life, and I had to leave university (I live in England), and move back home with my parents who could monitor me at all times. I even caused damage to the lining of my stomach, though thankfully, it has recovered.

    However, it is still with me always, every time I eat, the guilt of what I'm eating (even if its salads or fruits etc) and the disgust I feel at myself when I've eaten something 'bad', but then I tell myself that I have to be strong, I wont throw up,and that eating is normal (I know this may sound very ridiculous to some, but when you're in this desperate situation, nothing about eating is normal). Please don't let yourself get into this state, even 7 years on it's there and I know it always will be, so please learn from my mistakes. Talk to your doctor if you have to, but don't embark on this downward spiral.

    Good luck, and Im here if you need any support
    :wink:
  • Eryn47
    Eryn47 Posts: 34
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    Listen to SkinnyMummy, it's a never ending battle once it's started. On top of it being really, really bad it's not a weight loss solution. The calories you eat are absorbed within seconds, so you are getting almost all the cals even if you throw up. It gives you a false sense of security, and it WILL take over your life if you do not stop NOW!!!! There are some good websites, (that like this one have an amazing support system) regarding this issue please seek some help if you feel like you are already in over your head!! My thoughts and prayers are with you!:flowerforyou:
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
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    first I want to start off with congratulations on completing the boot camp. I am sure that was very difficult and rewarding! :flowerforyou:

    My first piece of advice is to reach out to someone like your doctor, family member, or professional to help you though this. That is not healthy and can only make things worse.

    Second, try to plan your meals out the day before so that you don't have those impulsive splurges that make you feel like you need to get rid of it. If you know what you are going to eat for the day, you will probably be a lot more successful at trying to stay within the calorie range that you are looking for.

    Third, maybe if you do have a time when you feel you need to "get rid of it" try going for a walk, run, bike ride, or something that would at least take burn off some of the calories you ate. Everyone slips up and had a few things that are bad for them, just put a little more work into your workout to maybe you will not feel the need to do that.

    Again, I strongly urge you to reach out to a professional to find ways to stop this before it has severly affected your health. You have worked so hard so far, don't sabatoge it by doing something so unhealthy and destructive.
  • ChristyMourning
    ChristyMourning Posts: 156
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    I'm a binge eater, seriously, look at my stats doll. the one thing that helped me is becoming a vegetarian. Honestly when i feel a binge coming on, i would rather binge on a half head of cabbage boiled down with 1 can of healthy choice veggie soup. no one wants to binge babe its a tough addiction, period. you need to sit down and write down when you binge and who or what is around and find your triggers and figure out why those things make you compelled to over eat.
    Most people do not understand why we do it but honestly a person with other addictions have it easier. In truth people can give up drugs completely and live but with our addiction we have to eat to survive. It's like giving a crack head a tiny hit of dope and saying don't do the rest....
    Listen, i'm here if you need a friend, mail me.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • oEmmao
    oEmmao Posts: 466 Member
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    i agree with christy, i think that food is the HARDEST addiction

    we can live without smokes, drugs, alcohol, whatever, you CANNOT live without food

    addictions have a lot to do with feelings so getting to the root of the problem would be a big help :flowerforyou:

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