I need help. (very, very serious issue)

samantha115
samantha115 Posts: 371
edited September 19 in Motivation and Support
So I finished a bootcamp work out on june 17 and I had lost 12 pounds. The past two days I dont know what wrong with me I just cant seem to stop eating (bad things) I try and get the good things and most of the time I do, but last night for dinner I went to a mexican resturant and got what I thought was healty, chicken tacos, the chicken was in a greasy sauce (so very good by the way) but after I ate them my stomach started hurting so bad. When we got home, after everyone went inside, I went back outside and made myself throw up. I know what I did was wrong in so many ways, when I was done I felt much better. Which brings me to today. Because I had a such a surge of calories last night I ate a bowl or raisin bran for breakfast. Good right. Well for lunch I went to taco bell and got a taco salad. after logging it in and seeing it was over 600 calories, I went to the bathroom here at work and tried to throw up as much as I could. I know that this is the start of something very unhealthy. I dont want to do it but after I see how much something is and how nasty I feel after eating, it just seems right. I am no where near under weight, in fact I could be considered obese(ugly word). I dont want to do this but i think it might be necessary after some meals. I know that this is wrong. I know that it is a terrible thing. I just need to confess what I did. It has only been twice that i have done it. I know that if I let myself continue it will get much worse. I dont feel bad after I do it, but eventually i know I will. i do hear a voice in my head every once and a while saying its ok to do it. I know its wrong. I just needed to vent. I know this should really be a blog but I need to hear people telling me to stop. Thats all for now.

Replies

  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
    I see that you're a mother of two. If you don't know enough that what you're doing is wrong, think of them. It's a sickness to make yourself throw up after eating. You need to get help somewhere.
    I will also recommend that you log all your foods BEFORE you have them, and WORK with your numbers. Maybe that'll help you stop what you're doing too.
    I hope you can get the help that you need. :smile:
  • OliveBranch
    OliveBranch Posts: 104
    Oh, sweetheart-
    You are right. This is very serious. I wish I had the right words to say, but you can absolutely NOT do that...
    Not only is it really bad for your body, it might develop into a habit, or worse, an eating disorder.
    I think you are very brave and smart for reaching out ASAP.
    I know the guilt one can feel when they eat something that "blows" their program, but making yourself vomit is definitely not the answer.
    I really suggest seeking support and if things get worse, talk to a professional.
    I've been through the battle of an eating disorder way back when, and I can tell you, even if you do lose weight that way, your life could become much darker than you thought it could by a simple action.
    Please please seek help and support ASAP.
    Much love, I hope you start feeling better soon.
    -OB:flowerforyou:
  • sonjab35
    sonjab35 Posts: 9
    well first off Samantha you already know you could be heading down a disaster road, so beating you up isn't going tohelp you. But what i will say is that since you already know that this behavior is wrong you have to be the one to change it. What i do recommend is to stop going out to fast food restaurants if yhou can. For one you'll be able to save a ton of money and you won't have to worry about taking in so many calories. Because thats how they get cha', you think you are getting something healthy and turns out to be pretty all or half of your caloric intake for the day. So be careful with this and start staying home to cook. and it is okay every now and then to cheat or treat yourself to some yummy sweets, but try baking them yourself at home and change some of the ingredients to fit you diet. hope this helps:flowerforyou:
  • ChellieIrish
    ChellieIrish Posts: 593 Member
    Hi there


    Crumbs firstly that IS NOT THE ANSWER ... if you start doing silly things like that you are on the wrong road :frown: It's not a healthy way to manage your weight :noway:


    We all have bad days with calories but the important thing to remember is take one day at a time :wink: Don't punish yourself or your body by doing that :huh:


    Do you mind me asking how old are you?
  • samantha115
    samantha115 Posts: 371
    Im 26


    Hi there


    Crumbs firstly that IS NOT THE ANSWER ... if you start doing silly things like that you are on the wrong road :frown: It's not a healthy way to manage your weight :noway:


    We all have bad days with calories but the important thing to remember is take one day at a time :wink: Don't punish yourself or your body by doing that :huh:


    Do you mind me asking how old are you?
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    You can do a LOT of damage to yourself including esophagus, throat and teeth by repeated vomiting. You know yourself it is so not the way to handle things. You have to learn to be strong...something must be worth losing the weight for? Food can't be everything, ya know? I suggest stopping this right now before it becomes something you can't stop...you do NOT want to add an eating disorder to your life. If you eat some extra calories- they can easily be burned off with some cardio. There are all kinds of fun, free workouts online, and so many other options. You're heading in a dangerous direction, and I hope you wake up and stop. I'm sure your ultimate goal is to be healthy and pretty...you won't be very pretty when your teeth are destroyed by stomach acid and rotting food, and you certainly won't be healthy. Sorry to be harsh, but you're starting something very dangerous. Good luck. :flowerforyou:
  • ChellieIrish
    ChellieIrish Posts: 593 Member
    I did a little research and found this

    http://helpguide.org/mental/binge_eating_disorder.htm

    Might be worth having a read of it ... This is a snippet :flowerforyou:

    Tips for Overcoming Binge Eating

    * Eat breakfast. Skipping breakfast often leads to overeating later in the day, so start your day right with a healthy meal. Eating breakfast also jump starts your metabolism in the morning. Studies show that people who eat breakfast are thinner than those who don’t.

    * Avoid temptation. You’re much more likely to overeat if you have junk food, desserts, and unhealthy snacks in the house. Remove the temptation by clearing your fridge and cupboards of your favorite binge foods.

    * Stop dieting. The deprivation and hunger of strict dieting can trigger food cravings and the urge to overeat. Instead of dieting, focus on eating in moderation. Find nutritious foods that you enjoy and avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad.”

    * Exercise. Not only will exercise help you lost weight in a healthy way, but it also lifts depression, improves overall health, and reduces stress. The natural mood-boosting effects of exercise can help put a stop to emotional eating.

    * Destress. Learn how to cope with stress in healthy ways that don’t involve food. For some helpful stress relief strategies, see Stress Management: How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress.
  • JDHINAZ
    JDHINAZ Posts: 641 Member
    Samantha, You need to take a big step back and figure out WHY you decided to take this journey. Is it so you will be thin and pretty. If so, then those are the WRONG reasons to be working out and watching what you are eating. If you are doing it to be fit, healthy, strong and a good example for your kids, then kudos! And guess what the by-product of those reasons are....being thin and pretty.

    But here's the tricky part, if you really want to be fit and healthy, then you have to realize than it's not just a physical change you have to go through. It's a mental and emotional change. You must be willing to do what it takes to prepare yourself for the day ahead of you, as mentioned here before, but you also must realize that doing this doesn't make you superhuman. You're still a normal human being prone to not always making the right choices. But, the wonderful thing is that you can always choose to make a good choice after a bad.

    Case in point, Thursday SUCKED for me. Big time. I ate 1400 calories more than I was allowed that day. So, I posted that I did it, FORGAVE MYSELF, and planned out what I was going to have the next day to get myself back on track. But I didn't do it my starving myself the next day. I ate every dang calorie I was allowed the next day. You have to forgive yourself, but you have to make a plan for yourself.

    Don't allow yourself to stay down in this depression. You realize you are suffering from it as you have just posted it and asked for help. GOOD FOR YOU!! That's awesome. So pick yourself off, dust yourself off, plan your day BEFORE it happens and get back on track. If you find yourself still depressed, get help immediately from a professional. PLEASE! We're here for you girlfriend! :flowerforyou:
  • skywalker
    skywalker Posts: 1,533
    Yes, this is a very dangerous road you're taking. For me, since I started this program, I don't eat anything before logging it, for the most part. If I'm planning on going out to eat, I look for the nutrition info on that restaurant. Besides this site, there are others you can use to get info or at least a good estimate. If you do eat "too much" or feel you've "cheated", just move on and learn from it. Before you stop for fast food or something you think you may regret, ask yourself if you're likely to feel like forcing yourself to vomit afterwards. Or, maybe just do a bit more exercise and try to work it off. I'm planning on 50-100miles on my bike for the 4th of July weekend as I know there will be cookouts all weekend with lots of food and drinks. Binging and purging is not the way to healthy, permanent weight loss.


    exercise.png
  • MichelleWagner50
    MichelleWagner50 Posts: 240 Member
    I agree with what people are telling you. This is such a bad thing to start. I suggest logging your foods before you eat and then you can tell if it's good or bad. Most restaurants do have some semi healthy things, but you would be surprised how many calories or how much sodium is in them. Check their websites before you go out. Or better yet, stay home and cook a healthy dinner for your family. Please take care of yourself!! :flowerforyou:
  • samantha115
    samantha115 Posts: 371
    Usually I do try to log everything in before I eat. Measure everything to make sure it right on with the serving suggestion. To be honest I usually try to stay under 1000 calories, or 1100, I do make it a point to check everything before I eat and for the most part I do try to be good. The last couple of days Ive gotten(yes gotten) caught up in the moment and just splurged. Its not like I binge but I know what Im eating isnt the best. My body knows when its not good because i feel sick afterward. :heart: I want to thank everyone for the stops. :heart: I want to stop. I dont want to get on this cycle. Its hard though. Im at a loss.
  • princealbert
    princealbert Posts: 1 Member
    You are right. Teaching yourself bulimia is not a good thing, so think of your kids and that you want to be around for them in 20 years and stop doing it.

    The problem with many boot camps is that they are only the start of a life long journey and they don't really provide as take aways a complete diet AND exercise program for you to follow. People need structure and in the absence of structure bad habits form.

    Stop purging. Buy yourself a heart rate monitor (one with a strap.) Exercise everyday for at least 500 calories. As another poster said when you eat too much do some cardio and burn those calories.

    Many people on this site are fans of P90x. It is a complete diet and exercise program. I liked it so much I became a beachbody coach and am helping others get in shape also. The program really works. If you have questions about the program I would be happy to answer.

    Do something, do anything to keep your metabolism up burning those calories. Stay away from fast food restaurants. There is nothing healthy to eat there.
  • ilike2moveit
    ilike2moveit Posts: 776 Member
    You may need to consider seeing someone who specializes in eating disorders and get control of this before it controls you. I'm slowly learning to log the food before I eat it but at times when I have eaten more calories than I want- Who knew a large sweet tea at McDonalds was 230 calories???? I exercise it off and It's a healthier way to compensate for going over the calories. When I feel like "gorging" I eat watermelon, I feel satisfied and it's not a lot of calories. Best wishes.....
  • pdxmomof2
    pdxmomof2 Posts: 643
    My BFF did this about 1 yr ago. She new it was bad and didnt want to do it but had gotten into a habit and couldnt stop. Her then fiance/now husband works out of town many days during the week. She had no one there to realize what she was doing and stop her. She ended up telling her husband and that's all she needed to do to stop. He was angry/sad/worried for her. He told her if she couldnt stop then he would have to quit his job so he could be with her all the time. That was what she needed to hear. I know this sounds so simple but if you think it will help you stop then please tell a loved one/husband/boyfriend. She told me about it after the fact but was so very ashamed of doing it in the first place. Since then she has lost the 30 pounds that she wanted to lose the healthy way.....eating right and exercising! Good luck! I hope you find the help you need:flowerforyou: :heart:
  • triben
    triben Posts: 64 Member
    Hi Samantha 115

    I am a doctor and my professional advice is it is never OK to do that (but dont think you are a bad person). The second is that you should get help from a medical professional who deals in eating disorders. Get help/advice and counseling before it becomes a bad trend. In many instances this is not something that can be easily controlled by just telling yourself not to do it. There could be many reasons that have led to your feelings of this that can not be discovered on a forum. You have done the correct thing to look for help. Now just get it form a medical professional.

    Good Luck
  • plussized
    plussized Posts: 72 Member
    Usually I do try to log everything in before I eat. Measure everything to make sure it right on with the serving suggestion. To be honest I usually try to stay under 1000 calories, or 1100, I do make it a point to check everything before I eat and for the most part I do try to be good. The last couple of days Ive gotten(yes gotten) caught up in the moment and just splurged. Its not like I binge but I know what Im eating isnt the best. My body knows when its not good because i feel sick afterward. :heart: I want to thank everyone for the stops. :heart: I want to stop. I dont want to get on this cycle. Its hard though. Im at a loss.

    1000-1100 calories is too low, plain and simple. You are sabatoging yourself by not allowing yourelf room for the essential nutrients your body needs.

    In this journey, you are allowed to eat things that are "bad" every once in a while without feeling bad. The point of this whole tihng isn't to starve yourself or make yourself suffer. It is about opening your eyes to thinks you never new or experienced. It is about learning that healthy things are good and easy things. It is about proving to yourself that you can make it happen for the RIGHT reasons, in the right way.

    If you are here to "look hot for everyone else," you need to re-evaluate why you are here. I'm not saying that that is what you are here for, but if it is, it shouldn't be why you are here. You should be here because you want to be healthy, live longer, learn and live a healthy life style and be an overall better person.. losing the weight that comes along with that is only a plus.

    When there are times you eat too much/too many calories, or eat something you feel "guilty" about, don't throw up. Take it all in. Learn from your mistakes. Walk around the block a couple times to make up for it. Go to the gym until you burn the calories. Eat something light for dinner, brush your teeth, go to bed and call it even. It isn't the end of the world to exceed your calories every once in a while, that's part of the game.

    Also, please take into concideration what I said about the amount of calories you are eating. Pay close attention to what MFP suggests for you, it works, I promise
  • pdxmomof2
    pdxmomof2 Posts: 643
    Usually I do try to log everything in before I eat. Measure everything to make sure it right on with the serving suggestion. To be honest I usually try to stay under 1000 calories, or 1100, I do make it a point to check everything before I eat and for the most part I do try to be good. The last couple of days Ive gotten(yes gotten) caught up in the moment and just splurged. Its not like I binge but I know what Im eating isnt the best. My body knows when its not good because i feel sick afterward. :heart: I want to thank everyone for the stops. :heart: I want to stop. I dont want to get on this cycle. Its hard though. Im at a loss.

    1000/1100 is too little of calories too for your body, especially if you are working out intensely as in bootcamp, etc. 1200 min plus at least some of your exercise cals are recommended. Take care of yourself!
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