What to do about friends?

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mabug01
mabug01 Posts: 1,273 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't want to be rude - but I have MFP friends that have not logged in for weeks and even months. If I delete them as friends, do they get a message saying they were dropped? I don't want to make anyone feel bad; I'm just trying to keep friends that are as motivated as I am. Have you ever deleted a friend?
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Replies

  • edward1973
    edward1973 Posts: 67
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    they dont get a notification saying they have been defriended
  • LovingMe19
    LovingMe19 Posts: 380 Member
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    Yep, I go through my friends often. If they haven't logged in for a few weeks, I drop em.
  • rag5051
    rag5051 Posts: 28 Member
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    I don't think they get a message... I had two friends on MFP and one of them dropped me but I didn't notice until one day I saw that I only had one friend lol.
  • CanadianChic
    CanadianChic Posts: 141
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    I do it all the time! Except for the ones that I actually know in person... but yea after 2 weeks of not signing in or if i never hear from them.. delete. Don't get hung up on it... it's no big deall, they prob won't even notice anyway
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
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    I think they can just hide them and check on them periodically
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
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    Nope. I have been deleted by several people. There is no notification sent to say that you've been deleted.
  • kimsciolino
    kimsciolino Posts: 240 Member
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    I have not deleted anyone this far. I always send a couple messages saying, Hey how are you? have not seen you on in awhile, do you need some motivation or someone to talk to? If they don't respond after a couple times then I would probably delete them...
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
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    they dont get a message and i deleate the ones who havent signed on for a while or the ones who dont give motivational support (even once in a while) since im trying hy hardest to lsoe wieght so I need people who will be there to motivate me
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
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    You have to do what's right for you. For me, I need to have friends that actually communicate with me - PM's or comments. If all they ever do is log food and exercise - I delete them. I always try to send them a PM saying "sorry, but I need more support from my friends, so I'm deleting you off my list." I've only had one person I've deleted that I regret, but I've been able to find some great supportive people on MFP. I also have a few who don't correspond much, but they are very active on the community boards and I get a kick out of their postings, so I keep them.

    I've been deleted without a word, and I'm fine with that - not everyone is right for every person's list.

    My suggestion - keep the people with whom you want to interact, and delete the rest.
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    I don't want to be rude - but I have MFP friends that have not logged in for weeks and even months. If I delete them as friends, do they get a message saying they were dropped? I don't want to make anyone feel bad; I'm just trying to keep friends that are as motivated as I am. Have you ever deleted a friend?

    I don't remove friends just for the fact that those who drop off or don't post anything are the one's that may be struggling the most. I would hate to have them come back and their support network is gone.
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
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    30 days and I delete. Then I can get more! 60 or 70 seems to be my limit, though. I can't keep up!
    I've been deleted without a word, and I'm fine with that - not everyone is right for every person's list.
    same here
  • alienblonde1
    alienblonde1 Posts: 749 Member
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    They won't know.


    Well I have deleted a few BUT only after sending a couple messages as to check on them. If no response after a few tries I delete. Sometimes they can't get online cause of computer problems or other reasons.

    I got a couple that check back on occasionally and aren't on because of surgery and one is on the road but they let me know they will be back in time.
  • WarmDontBurn
    WarmDontBurn Posts: 1,253 Member
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    I say delete. I have been inactive for most of the summer so would not be sad if I came back and was defriended, I get it. Now there are a few ladies who post often and post to me personally so as long as I could find them or readd them I am good.

    If they aren't contributing and are not seeking help then its time to clean up :)
  • candlegal
    candlegal Posts: 220 Member
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    Mabug- I went through the same dilema when I first started on MFP. Remember you need to do what works for you!! If it stresses you out to have all those inactive friends you should go ahead and delete them, I don't think they get any message I think there is just a blank where your profile was. I think, don't quote me. I totally hear you on this. I still have way too many friends to keep up with, but I hate to just delete them too but if they have been inactive for weeks or a month I DO delete them, it's not personal, it's business! LOL Trim that list to make it doable!
    Good Luck!
  • AZackery
    AZackery Posts: 2,035 Member
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    There can be a reason, why some people haven't logged on for a certain amount of time. For example, I know that in July, I've gone on vacation and I was away for a week and recently I have been having electrical problems that have caused me to be away for some days.

    Some people are probably not here, due to losing a job and can't afford internet anymore. Some people can be away due to a new job that requires a lot of their time.

    I know that people want friends and support, but everyone should think about everyone else as well.

    I believe in cheering and motivating people, but I don't post cheering and motivating comments to the people on my friend's list every time I come on here. I don't log my food or exercise on here. I come on here to motivate and encourage others, as well as get encouragement.

    I will speak for myself. I'm my number one cheerleader. I have to do this for myself.
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
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    What do you do about the ones who are offline for 3-4 days, come back and profess their renewed commitment and then go offline for another 3-4 days? I have a couple of friends with this pattern. To me they obviously aren't ready and that's fine. But encouraging them seems pointless and they do not encourage me back when they do show up.

    Thoughts?
  • slick_fox
    slick_fox Posts: 85 Member
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    I don't know if I have responded to you before but i delete them. I need suportive friends who are going in the direction I am going.
  • Erica002
    Erica002 Posts: 293 Member
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    I delete all the time. If you don't log in within 2 weeks, you're gone, unless of course I know you're on vacation or something. And I also delete if you don't ever talk to me.
  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
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    6 Months. If they haven't logged in in 6 months I figure they aren't coming back. Sometimes if I interacted with them a bit before they left I go to their page and leave a message saying feel free to add me if you come back, so that they can find you again.
  • Pauline745
    Pauline745 Posts: 22 Member
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    I don't want to be rude - but I have MFP friends that have not logged in for weeks and even months. If I delete them as friends, do they get a message saying they were dropped? I don't want to make anyone feel bad; I'm just trying to keep friends that are as motivated as I am. Have you ever deleted a friend?

    I don't remove friends just for the fact that those who drop off or don't post anything are the one's that may be struggling the most. I would hate to have them come back and their support network is gone.

    Exactly how I feel about it! :smile: (Wish there was a thumbs up smiley here! Love smileys...helps to show expression. )

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