so frustrated

gentlebreeze2 · February 2012

I joined mfp August 2010, and did well for a while... losing 59 pounds. I have some amazing friends on here. Actually, I lost another 36 prior to joining (but that's another story). In March or April of 2011 my weight loss came to a standstill. At one point I thought maybe I was exercising too much, without eating back enough calories, but who knows. I've been on thyroid medicine most of my life, so I figured I needed to work harder than most people.

I started having problems with my legs swelling, and I guessed it was over exercising (I was wrong). In August I went to the doctor for another reason and he commented on my swollen left leg. He wanted me to make an hour trip that day to get ultrasound on my leg (who knew I had a blood clot). They put me in the hospital immediately and did a couple procedures including a filter to keep my blood clot from traveling to my heart, or lungs. They also did more ultrasound while there, with a recommendation of seeing my gynocologist within a couple weeks. I was put on blood thinners which they thought would help dissolve the blood clot.

It took me 3 weeks to get an appointment, and after the exam they scheduled a byopsy. I reported to day surgery and was prepped only to have the biopsy cancelled because my heart had gone into afib. A heart doctor was called and I was put on heart medicine. Three weeks later the biopsy was performed. The next day I got the news that I had the big "C".

In the three months I was on blood thinners I was often in excruiating pain. My doctor kept telling me I needed to give the blood thinner time to work (I wasn't allowed to take anything for the pain). When I had my first appointment with the oncologist, she noticed how swollen my legs were (it felt like theskin was ready to pop), and immediately took me off of the blood thinner, because apparently when you have cancer, the blood thinner only makes things worse.

I had surgery in December, recovered from that and have been getting radiation treatments. I was excited that tomorrow will be my last treatment. I started exercising about 3 weeks ago, and my muscles in my legs ache from inactivity, but I was determined to pick up where I had left off. I've noticed that I can't get my heart rate up, and recently learned its from the heart medicine. I was so excited to start back up with exercise and now I could just cry. Not only am I tired all the time from the heart medicine, but apparently it causes you to gain weight. I am so frustrated. I will continue to pursue a healthy lifestyle, but I just don't know how much progress I will make.

The reason I am writing this post is twofold, I need to vent (I generally try to keep complaining to a minimum), and I want to know if anyone out there has had success while being on heart meds.

dlaplume2 · February 2012

:flowerforyou:

I don't know what to say, other than I hope you feel better soon.

Best wishes.

klagesdvm · February 2012

Keep at it and listen to the Onco Doc... If you are doing what you can, then you need to let yourself off the hook a little and be happy with that... Good Luck!

sarahazelnut99 · February 2012

i wish i could say more about what its like to face all the complications that you are facing but i'm still pretty young. I really hope that i can use your strength as a model for how i want to live my life. I'm more than sure that my life still has a lot of trials to face, physically and emotionally-but its people like you that show me that i can do this. I just hope that this little letter can somehow have an effect on how you feel about everything thats bringing you down because of how it effects me. Your an incredible women and i'm wishing you the best.
-love your friend
sarah

liog · February 2012

I had open heart surgery last June. I am on a beta blocker called metoprolol for supraventricular tachycardia. I went to cardiac rehab for about five months and just finished up. According to the nurses, my target heart rate is 118-138. I find it hard to get above 125/126. I do feel like I am getting an adequate workout and I have lost 11 pounds.

Before surgery, I couldn't even walk up a single flight of stairs without having to stop and rest. Even getting out of bed was next to impossible. In rehab they started me off very slowly. 10 minutes at a very slow pace on the treadmill. 5 minutes on the bike. 3 minutes on the hand bike. Two sets of 3 different exercises with a 3 pound weight. Over the five months I worked up to a point that I felt I could do this on my own. I am very mindful of my heart and how I'm feeling.

In September (3 months post op) I was in my cardiologist's office sobbing because I wanted to be "normal" again. My cardiologist said to get moving, keep moving, but not to push myself too hard too fast and to try not to be so hard on myself. I would say the same to you. Your body and mind have been through an incredible ordeal. I am impatient so taking it slow is not an easy thing for me to do. For me I have to remind myself that this is my new normal which doesn't mean that I won't reach my goal, it just means that slow and steady will win the race.

lilscuder · February 2012

Beautifully expressed by liog. I think that was good advice from someone who has been through alot. Listen to your body, take one day at a time. You will reach your goal, because you have alot of courage, self discipline and determination. Just Get Well First taking care of You... Hoping the worst is behind you and it won't be long before you gain your strength back up. You have been through ALOT, give yourself time and patience and wishing all The Best to YOU and liog. I so admire you and Love ya T.

so frustrated

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