Trying to do this on my own!!!!

It is hard but It can be done. I have lost 70 pounds without surgery. I had considered it, but it scared me more then being overweight. Besides, I have never had any type of surgery and was not about to start. I just changed the way I ate. I had alot of encouragement so feel free to add me and I will see if I can help.

My advice is first and foremost to stop thinking of this as a "diet". Start thinking of it as a way to change your eating behaviors to make yourself healthier and stronger. You didn't become overweight overnight. Lots of folks refer to this as a "journey", and it is. You can lose the weight slowly steadily and become healthier and healthier. You just need patience and the determination to move forward. Some thoughts:
1. Figure out if you're the kind of person who can eat treats in moderation or if you're the kind of person who needs to lay off them altogether. Neither kind of person is best or right or wrong, but it seems to me that figuring this out is what helps people be successful over time.
2. If it's 8 pm and you've already used all of your calories for the day but you're hungry, eat something small and healthy. Don't make yourself starve because that will undermine this.
3. This isn't about punishment. Or deprivation. This is about modifying your eating habits in such a way that you, personally, can live with them. And, that "personally" part is super important. Every bite is a choice and only you can make the right one for you. I have half and half in my coffee. It makes me happy. Sure, it isn't as "healthy" as drinking the coffee black, or giving it up entirely, but it makes me happy. What do I give up for this? Nothing. But, I may have a little less of something else to make up for the calories. It's a choice.
4. Everyone on this site has opinions. My biggest advice is to respectfully listen to all, take what you can use, and just file everything else in the back of your brain for future reference. Don't take things too personally if people get snarky on the message boards - whether snarky to you or someone else. Remember that although all of us want to help one another, most of us don't truly know anyone else's life. We're all doing the best we can in the best way we know how.
5. Again, this isn't about punishment or deprivation. If you want to go out to dinner, go out to dinner. Try to look at menus online before you go so you can pick out the healthiest options possible. If portions are large, ask for a "to go" box at the beginning of the meal and put half the food in it before you even start eating. If you entirely blow your calories for one day, log everything, and then move on. We all have those days. I read where someone said that if you average all your calories over 7 days, one day's over indulgence isn't so bad.
6. Log everything. Friend people. Reach out when you're sad or when it's a really hard day. Get up and move. Stand during a tv show. Give yourself permission to spend as much money as you can afford on good quality food. Ask questions. Don't eat in front of the tv. Use smaller plates. Learn about portions - that was my toughest trial.
7. Give yourself a good pat on the back. You've made the decision to take control of your life and to make yourself the healthiest you can be. You can do this. One day at a time.