Divorce question (curious and want opinions)

Beatlegirl66
Beatlegirl66 Posts: 68 Member
edited November 10 in Chit-Chat
I have been divorced now for 3.5 years. I was married for 5. I have this thing about hating to check mark the "divorced' box on forms. I feel like it is admitted that I was a failure. Yes my marriage failed. What does that have to do with my car insurance? (or whatever form I am filling out). Is there ever a point in life where I can just mark "single" again? If I never re-marry (which I don't plan on doing) does that mean that if it has been 40 years later, I still have to mark divorced? I know this isn't the biggest deal in the world, but it is something I was talking about this weekend and I was just curious of other folk's opinions on the topic.

Sara S.

Replies

  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    I have been divorced 4 years and married 14 - I wonder the same thing!
  • Liseii01
    Liseii01 Posts: 20 Member
    I would check single. in reality thats what you are right =)
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    Do you have a legal obligation to declare divorced? If you don't like that box, check single! I don't know anything about the law, but I can't imagine that you are legally obligated to tell anyone your marital status.
  • gregavila
    gregavila Posts: 723 Member
    Don't know how this would affect your insurance status, but as they have the option for divorced I wonder if it could make a legal difference if you didn't check it as in you falsified information on your application.

    Cn you ask the insurance agen what they do with that information?
  • SFalconStorm
    SFalconStorm Posts: 77 Member
    If everything is finalized and none of your finances are tied to your ex (alimony, child support, shared debt, etc.) then I would say you should be able to claim single. What difference does it honestly make at that point? I think that check is really more applicable for people going through a divorce or that just divorced in the last year and are still getting everything untangled from their spouse.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Before I got divorced it seemed like the worst thing in the world, that I would have to admit that I failed.
    But, I soon got over that and felt as though I'd made a very smart choice and had a much better life single.
    Against all my plans and expectations I have got married again - but if I stil had the tick the divorced box, I wouldn't mind.
    Really though, if it's for something like car insurance (completely irrelevant!) I would leave it blank.
  • MindyBlack
    MindyBlack Posts: 954 Member
    Do you have a legal obligation to declare divorced? If you don't like that box, check single! I don't know anything about the law, but I can't imagine that you are legally obligated to tell anyone your marital status.
    I agree. This has bugged me too. I have been divorced much longer than I was married. From now on I declare my singleness!
  • KatKatatrophic
    KatKatatrophic Posts: 448 Member
    I'm sure that have to check Divorced by law. I would ask your car insurancer...I don't know why they'd want to know.
  • gregavila
    gregavila Posts: 723 Member
    Really though, if it's for something like car insurance (completely irrelevant!) I would leave it blank.

    But I know for insurance it can make a difference - particularly for males. Being a single male driver typically means higher rates than a married male driver. Just saying.

    I would still ask the insurance agent. It would suck to have to pay more a year because your pride wanted to claim single.
  • LatinaGordita
    LatinaGordita Posts: 377 Member
    I am divorced 6 years now, I marked divorced the first 2 years, but now I mark single. I would say you are single now! :D
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Maybe because we had kids together I don't mind checking the divorced box. I also think that it's a lot better than having to check the widowed box like several of my friends have to.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    Unless there is a legitimate need for that fact to be known (legal stuff, taxes, etc.), I would check "single." You have the right to keep your divorce private if you wish.
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    Well, you're single right now; therefore, I'd check single.
  • Pebbles536
    Pebbles536 Posts: 199
    As soon as the divorce was final I marked SINGLE on Everything. Why do they need to know! So what if their demographics are off! It's non of their business.
  • MsTanya77
    MsTanya77 Posts: 357 Member
    Don't think of yourself as DIVORCED, think of yourself as SINGLE AGAIN. You were single once, and now you are single again. But yes legally it will always be on record that you were once married and now divorced, what impact this has if any at all, I don't know.................
  • Macrocarpa
    Macrocarpa Posts: 121 Member
    Insurance questions etc are based around the dark arts practised by actuaries.

    There are quite literally tables of probability which map out critical points in your life / your personal definition and assign them a risk. Obese (heavy) people die more. Men are more likely to be involved in a car accident (this is a misleading statement, because it doesn't include a bunch of additional information, but it's factually correct). Women live longer but die more frequently during childbearing years.

    One of the reasons I started with MFP was from some info that came to light from insurance forms. Over half men my age die of preventable lifestyle diseases (obesity-related).

    So I would say that there is a correlation between people being divorced and people claiming on car insurance. That's why you're asked.

    *DO NOT* put down 'Single' if you are divorced - if you read the fine print it will say 'any wilful incorrect information on this form may invalidate your claim'. Insurance companies would prefer not to pay out wherever they can. Just tell the truth.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    Really though, if it's for something like car insurance (completely irrelevant!) I would leave it blank.

    But I know for insurance it can make a difference - particularly for males. Being a single male driver typically means higher rates than a married male driver. Just saying.

    I would still ask the insurance agent. It would suck to have to pay more a year because your pride wanted to claim single.

    But how would you compare a single male driver to a divorced male driver? more or less risky?
  • Macrocarpa
    Macrocarpa Posts: 121 Member
    As soon as the divorce was final I marked SINGLE on Everything. Why do they need to know! So what if their demographics are off! It's non of their business.

    ...you realise that if you do make a claim, they can invalidate it? Seriously, this (and other comments encouraging the OP to put down 'single') are really, really silly.

    What happens if you're in a massive car accident, the car's written off, you get massive medical expenses, and the claim is denied because you decided to take a moral stand about an insurance company's definition of what marital status you had?

    And where do you draw the line? Refusing to nominate a pre-existing condition on a medical form because it's none of the health insurer's business?

    I'd rather take the knock to the ego and get the payout after the event...
  • lisakyle_11
    lisakyle_11 Posts: 420 Member
    i have been divorced and checked 'divorce' a couple of times maybe (like your insurance example). i didn't do it for a long period of time though... i mean, i was single, and unmarried. those types of defining questions annoy me more than i can say. do what you want regarding that as long as it's the truth!
  • ladywolfkahn
    ladywolfkahn Posts: 77
    as soon as divorce was final from hubby #1 I went through process of changing my SS# back to my maiden name, from that point on i always checked "single".
  • angee1126
    angee1126 Posts: 185 Member
    Yup, i agree....check single! That's what i use to do :flowerforyou:
  • marie_2454
    marie_2454 Posts: 881 Member
    I'm almost positive that marking that you're single when you're actually divorced is a form of fraud actually, especially on forms where you also have to check a box at the end before you sign swearing that everything is accurate to the best of your knowledge. Also, your marital (or divorced) status could matter in terms of your income, like if you pay or receive alimony. If you're uncomfortable checking or saying you're divorced, you could always say you're uncomfortable doing so and ask if it's actually necessary for you to answer?

    Edit: I do know that if your rates are lower because you say you're single and then they find out you're divorced they can and will make you pay them the difference, plus interest. I would definitely never lie because there's all sorts of legal crap that could potentially really screw you over financially. BTW, people get divorced all the time. I don't want to make it seem like no big deal, because it is definitely a big deal for most people, it's just not so taboo anymore. Yes, your marriage failed, but that doesn't make you personally a failure.
  • Macrocarpa
    Macrocarpa Posts: 121 Member
    Right, bit of googling and here we have it:

    http://www.jstor.org/pss/20485986

    Background: Personal responses to stressful life events are suspected of increasing the risk of serious traffic accidents.

    Methods: We analyzed data from a French cohort study (the GAZEL cohort), including a retrospective driving behavior questionnaire, from 13,915 participants (10,542 men age 52-62 years and 3373 women age 47-62 years in 2001).

    Follow-up data covered 1993-2000. Hazard ratios for serious accidents (n = 713) were computed by Cox's proportional hazard regression with time-dependent covariates. Separate analyses were also performed to consider only at-fault accidents.

    Results: Marital separation or divorce was associated with an increased risk of a serious accident (all serious accidents: hazard ratio 2.9, 95% confidence interval = 1.7-5.0; at-fault accidents: 4.4, 2.3-8.3).

    The impact of separation and divorce did not differ according to alcohol consumption levels. Other life events associated with increased risk of serious accident were a child leaving home (all accidents: 1.2, 0.97-1.6; at-fault accidents: 1.5, 1.1-2.1), an important purchase (all accidents: 1.4, 1.1-1.7; at-fault accidents: 1.6, 1.2-2.1), and hospitalization of the partner (all accidents: 1.4, 1.1-2.0).

    Conclusion: This study suggests that recent separation and divorce are associated with an increase in serious traffic accidents.

    TL;DR version OP - you're being asked because there is a stated and researched correlation between marital status and the likelihood of serious traffic accidents. Insurance companies are taking this into account and charging you more given the increased risk.

    Sorry - and as a male who drove daily from the ages of 18-25 without being involved in any traffic accidents, whilst paying significantly more in insurance premiums than all other driving groups, I absolutely sympathise.
  • skinnyfromwithin
    skinnyfromwithin Posts: 7
    I never understood that either. I have almost been divorced for a year now (march 28) and I always put down single.
  • Beatlegirl66
    Beatlegirl66 Posts: 68 Member
    Interesting information! I forgot to mention that I do not have any children, do not pay alimony (or receive it), legally have taken my maiden name back and have not heard from my former husband in over 2 years. I feel like I am so far removed from that marriage and was just wondering if there was ever a time in my life where it would be okay to mark "single" again. I used the example of car insurance because it was the first thing that popped into my head, but I find this question on all sorts of forms that I fill out. I have always marked "divorced" because I do not want to lie. Shouldn't people who have remarried need to mark both married and divorced?

    I think I will mark single on things that do not seem very important (like getting free coupons in the mail) and continue to mark divorced on "official" things. Personally I feel that when you get to a point where you have been divorced longer than you were married, you can have the legal freedom to be "single" again. I hate to think that when I am 80 years old, I will still be in the divorced category because of something that happened in my early 30's. But like I said originally...it isn't a huge deal. Just a little something that bugs me.
  • Firefighter_Jay
    Firefighter_Jay Posts: 426 Member
    Here is the thing tho, they give the options, and ask you to check. Let's say you are divorced, but check single. You make a claim, they investigate it, and find that you falseified your information, what's gonna happen? They won't pay.

    Insurance companies are *kitten* like that, why risk coverage over something something so trivial????
  • Cathnger
    Cathnger Posts: 72
    Don't let it get to you, just remember it's better than what it is for my mum when she was in her 40's having to put widowed.
  • Abbzzz
    Abbzzz Posts: 49
    Well you may be divorced but you are single too so i would check the single box. If they ask say "well you didn't have a divorced but single now box"!!!
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    I see myself as single.

    Divorced is a moral statement, rather than an economic condition.

    I don't see how divorced vs single is in anyway relevant to your insurance risk assessment, so I'd be tempted to as where the 'none of your damned business' box is.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I check SINGLE because that's what I am.
This discussion has been closed.

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