Irrational fear of losing weight? Help?

buckystars · February 2012

So I'm extremely close to being under 200 and one would think that would make me excited but I'm having a lot of anxiety over it. I've been over 200 pounds for at least 12 years and I have no idea what I'm going to look like as a skinny adult. I have no idea what to expect and the unknown is starting to psych me out. Do others have this same crazy and irrational fear?

I read all the time about people who have dropped a significant amount of weight and their lives have changed. People react differently to them, they can do amazing things and shopping is actually fun. I've never had that and the prospect of it is overwhelming. I put on a sweater today that previously didn't fit that well and now it actually looks pretty good on me, I almost had a panic attack.

Am I just being crazy here or do others feel the same?

vjrose · February 2012

When I was younger I had that feeling, I've been over 200 for over 30 years so it's a new world for me, only close friends have noticed much so far since I am still wearing the same shirts. Get used to yourself in the mirror, you will come to like that lady looking back. At 56 my greatest fear was baggy skin, well the toning is helping that but at the first 20lb mark I looked in the mirror and was grossed out by all the baggy skin, so I redoubled my efforts on the working out and things are gradually reshaping. I think that even though you are used to the person you were, if you keep checking the mirror (and i do mean several times a day) you will get used to and come to love the new you. I think you will find new confidence and as you get closer to your goal you will realize this is all about you, not what anyone else thinks, perceives, or thinks they want from you. Your own reflection is your judge, not the reflection of you in others mirrors. When you have a panic attack come here and immediately pm someone with your greatest fear of becoming a new person. Bet you will get an answer that will help you look in the mirror and say, wow, the inner me is becoming the outer me. We all have someone hiding inside, I can sometimes see my senior picture in the mirror, and that is a wow moment. My hubby is a little insecure but he is losing too so it will be all good. Take care, pm me anytime.

tangiesharp · February 2012

I don't know if what you're feeling is irrational. If you've told yourself that "being overweight" is who you are, you're about to change that and you don't know what will be left once you don't have that.

You are not alone. I'm 5 pounds from my goal weight and I've been finding myself doing some "dumb" things. Maybe trying to self-sabotage myself. It makes no sense. In some ways, I feel like if I get my weight under control, I won't have that excuse anymore - that I'll have to really start working on me. I'm getting ready for that new phase of my life, but it is scary to deal with the unknown.

Asavitzk · February 2012

Any kind of major life change can be scary. But the thing to remember is how positive this change will be and to just smile and embrace it.

CannibalisticVegetarian · February 2012

I can honestly tell you that i've been having the same worry going through my head every since I hit the 220's. I have never ever been 'skinny', 'fit', or anything between the two. I only have faint memories of being in the 180's, but that quickly skyrocketed. Since I'd been comfortable in the 200's and have gotten used to being that chunky/fat kid. That was me. Now that I'm losing things here and there over the course of time, I get worried that I wont like what I see, since fit has never been me.

It's all new and yeah is kinda overwhelming. Luckily it's something you and I are gonna have to shake off, eh Ms. Bucky? XD

Miss_dannii · February 2012

Just remind yourself it's going to happen gradually, you won't wake up skinny one morning and pass out when you look in the mirror! You will be fine, you will love the changes you see in yourself. Promise you.

xx

usmcmp · February 2012

I had the same fear, but I realized that just passing the 200 pound mark wouldn't change my looks dramatically. The change we see in the mirror is gradual and easier to manage. I do have moments of panic when I see pictures and my face isn't as filled out as it used to be. I worry I look like a skeleton. I focus on the positives about how much healthier I am and I realize it's all in my head about how I look.

mals422 · February 2012

One thing that really helped me was to sit down and have a serious introspective look at myself, to try to figure out why I am comfortable being fat. What are you getting out of it? Why does being overweight make you feel more comfortable than being fit?

Does it help you avoid things and situations you're afraid you'll fail at? That was what it was for me. As long as I was fat, that was an excuse for not being able to do things and/or do them well. Those things could be anything from being in a successful relationship, to buying and wearing new clothes, to hiking a mountain or walking around a park without being out of breath.

Sit down and make a list of everything you like about being overweight. It sounds silly, but if there wasn't anything you like or find comforting about it, you wouldn't feel hesitant to give it up. I hope you find the key to letting you lose!

supergirl6 · February 2012

I don't think it's irrational at all. When you've been a certain size for so long, you come to recognize yourself in the mirror a certain way. You know how your hair has to be fixed so your face doesn't look too fat. You know how your clothes will fit and what you can bother trying on in the store. For that matter, you know which stores you can shop in and which you can't. You know how you'll fit in chairs, in airplane seats, with a seatbelt on. You know how it will feel to hug someone.

Then you lose all this weight and suddenly everything you know about how your life works isn't true anymore. So not only do you have to start looking in the mirror and seeing someone else - someone who might look completely different - you're going to have to learn to accept that person too. And that's tough since most people spend a lot of time not accepting what they look like and want to get thinner, fitter, healthier. What happens when you get thinner, fitter, healthier? You still might not accept what you see, and then what? Or what if you look thin and healthy but you're so used to not being that that when you look in the mirror you don't see a thin healthy person, even if you are? And on top of all the body issues involved, you now have to fit into the world differently and learn how you fit in airplane seats, how you shop for clothes, where you shop for clothes, how it will feel to hug someone without all this extra "stuff" between you?

I worry about these things too. So no, I don't think it's irrational at all. It's ok to worry about it and start thinking through it NOW. It'll be easier if you're prepared for the changes. You're going to change and you look AWESOME right now, but you're going to continue looking even more awesome. You can't start soon enough working on the mental part. Talk to yourself about where you want to be and be realistic with yourself about where you are right now. You're not longer the sluggish overweight girl, you're faster, stronger, and thinner than you were 11 weeks ago. You're not done but you're really on your way. Talk to yourself about accepting yourself. Stare into the mirror and get reacquainted with all that has changed about your body. Take lots of photos. You're going to be ok, but take it day by day and keep your awesome friends always on speed dial.

buckystars · February 2012

Thanks! I still feel a little anxious about it but I'm not going to psych myself out of this. I'm so close to hitting a milestone and I don't want to sabotage myself again.

You all are the best.

Irrational fear of losing weight? Help?

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