What is wrong with me?

Options
alyssatuininga
alyssatuininga Posts: 29 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I will start with a little history. I decided in November 2010 that I needed to loose weight. I stepped on the scale and I was 205lbs. I almost fainted. I had never been that big even 9 months pregnant. It was time for a change.
I started walking and soon started the C25K program. I found that I enjoyed running- it was hard but it made me feel good. I ran about 3 times a week and over the course of a few months I lost about 25 lbs. I was feeling SO much better. Fit and good for the first time in a long time. I ran some 5Ks with friends. Started doing Zumba once a week and was at a low of 159 when I found out I was pregnant.
Even though it was unexpected I was so happy to have a last baby. #4 would complete our family and I felt good about the shape I was in.  I knew some of the weight would come back but I hoped that once the morning sicknesses passed I could get back to walking. At 15 weeks we found out our baby had passed away. It was devastating. I had gained about 10 lbs with the pregnancy and shot right back to 200 lbs because I turned to food to deal with my depression. I was depressed, I was fat again and I was so angry at everything,
Through my husbands support I found the strength somewhere to try again. I started running slowly in the late spring of 2011.  I got back to 5K running shape and lost about 10 lbs. The weight was so slow to go this time. I was doing the same things I had done last time but it wasn't working,
 A friend clued me in to MFP and I thought I would try it. I started logging my food, got better about portion control,  and started eating between 1500-1800 cal a day. I was still running 3 times a week with Zumba on a 4th day. In 3 months I lost 4 lbs. 4! It didn't seem worth all the work I was doing.
In October at my wits end I started asking people I know for help, 2 friends who are trainers, reading on line etc. I kept hearing over and over that I should mix it up (do more than just run), do longer cardio workouts (was doing about 30-40 minutes and went to 40-60) and add in some weight training. I increased the cardio right away and started mixing it up. I did some reading and settled on the New Rules of Weight Lifting for Women. I did his pre-training program for beginners and started in. 

Weeks went buy and NOTHING. I wasn't loosing any weight. Like literally to the oz I was the same. I stopped weighing myself out of sheer frustration but kept up with the exercise. Around Thanksgiving I pulled the QL muscle in my back. Excruciating pain. Ended up at the physical therapist who said I needed to stop running. He told me to stop weight lifting. I went for weeks and he gave me stretches to do but not much else. I did them for weeks. 
My eating went to hell over the holidays and honestly I didn't care. What was the point? Even when I was able to exercise all the time I wasn't loosing weight.
After the holidays I decided I was going to get back to it. Started eating healthy again, started doing cardio 5 times a week (about an hour a session). I have been at it about 6 weeks now. I stepped on the scale today and guess what I am exactly to the oz the same I was last fall. 188.4. I could scream. 
I am beyond frustrated and truth is I don't know what to do. I am SO close to throwing in the towel and just saying THIS is apparently the way my body is supposed to be. I feel like no matter what I do- work hard/eat healthy or lay around and eat crap I am not changing so why bother? 
It is simple right? Diet and exercise. Why isn't it working for me? So many people I know are having success. What is wrong with me? 

Replies

  • faithchange
    faithchange Posts: 311 Member
    Options
    Nothing is wrong with you!!! One question, how much do you want to lose? Your daily recommend eating you have as 1500-1800. That is high! Mine is 1200-1300 on MYFP. I want to lose 32 lbs. I am at 187 lbs now. I have lost 60 lbs in 1 1/2 years through sparkpeople.com. There are so many cardio and other workouts out there. You could just walk. I do Walk at Home DVDs and love them. Pretty much low impact. Love, love ZUMBA. I surf Pinterest under fitness all the time for ideas. I would not give up if I were you. I lost three babies early on in pregnancy....6 wk, 8, and 11 wk. It is horrible and my heart goes out to you. Today, I have two kiddos and am losing the weight for them and of course myself. Are you drinking water...plenty of water everyday? That is so important. At least 96 oz I have read. Eat every 2-3 hours and eat healthy things of course. It all comes down to what you want out of your life. It is frustrating not losing. I have been on mood stabilizers for depression for over 2 years now..that does not help with weight loss...also been treated for Thyroid issues...so see life is not fun. We have to fight back and show our body who is boss. I look at it this way....am I happier losing the weight (even if it is slow) or happier just gaining the weight? I love the positive and for me the positive in my life is seeing myself fitting into clothes that I could not otherwise fit into years ago. Take care...I hope that this helps. :)
  • 1a1a
    1a1a Posts: 761 Member
    Options
    How much is your loss set to lose per week? (And how tall, what weight now, etc etc). You could be over-eating, or you could be under-eating (prompting the body to hold onto everything)...Just to get back onto the healthy eating track, I'd try changing the goal to maintenance for a few weeks. Just see where that takes you.

    It's a real bummer your exercising activities have been suspended, next time you see the therapist, perhaps explain that you really want to work cardio into your life at least, what do they recommend? Also asking them whether or not you could do strength training using body weight.

    Can't see your diary but don't forget to eat lots of vegies :-)
  • xosmsox
    xosmsox Posts: 119
    Options
    Nothing is wrong with you!!! One question, how much do you want to lose? Your daily recommend eating you have as 1500-1800. That is high! Mine is 1200-1300 on MYFP. I want to lose 32 lbs. I am at 187 lbs now. I have lost 60 lbs in 1 1/2 years through sparkpeople.com. There are so many cardio and other workouts out there. You could just walk. I do Walk at Home DVDs and love them. Pretty much low impact. Love, love ZUMBA. I surf Pinterest under fitness all the time for ideas. I would not give up if I were you. I lost three babies early on in pregnancy....6 wk, 8, and 11 wk. It is horrible and my heart goes out to you. Today, I have two kiddos and am losing the weight for them and of course myself. Are you drinking water...plenty of water everyday? That is so important. At least 96 oz I have read. Eat every 2-3 hours and eat healthy things of course. It all comes down to what you want out of your life. It is frustrating not losing. I have been on mood stabilizers for depression for over 2 years now..that does not help with weight loss...also been treated for Thyroid issues...so see life is not fun. We have to fight back and show our body who is boss. I look at it this way....am I happier losing the weight (even if it is slow) or happier just gaining the weight? I love the positive and for me the positive in my life is seeing myself fitting into clothes that I could not otherwise fit into years ago. Take care...I hope that this helps. :
    1500 a day is not too much, please just eat st your bmr. You do not have to subject yourself to the 1200 club to lose! I lost my infant daughter to SIDS, she was 23 days old. I'm so sorry for your loss, be easy on yourself, be patient. Good luck
  • knelson422
    knelson422 Posts: 308
    Options
    You are very frustrated and have gone through some really tough stuff. I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I am so sorry for your loss and the struggle you are having.
    I have been stuck for 6 months, and i trained for and ran a 15K during that time. Didn't lose a single pound. Very frustrating. Is your injury all better? Maybe changing it up would work. I have noticed that since stopping running and doing circuit training, I have felt better and noticed a definite change in my body. I also started tracking my sugars rather than just calories, I think that will make a difference for me. I have also noticed with circuit training that my body is not as tired as when I was running. Please don't give up. Your family needs you to be healthy, and why not you? I also read Bob Harper's "Are YOu Ready!" That was very inspiring and helped me to see that I eat my emotions rather than feel them, which is not helpful to my weight loss. I gained 6 pounds over the holidays and have lost it finally. His book suggested coming up with a "mantra" or a theme for yourself , something good about yourself that you can tell yourself every time you start to think negative thoughts. Mine is "I am a doer, and now I am a finisher." Because I start lots of good things, and get half way through and then either set them down, or do a quick finish on them when I should have taken my time. This is the weight I have been for a large portion of my adult life, which is why I think I am having a harder time, I am older (well not really old, but 38) than when I have really tried to lose weight before, and i know hormones play a role as well. Good luck to you, my friend. I don't know if any of this is helpful at all.
  • alyssatuininga
    alyssatuininga Posts: 29 Member
    Options
    Truth is I don't care how quickly I loose. I have MFP set for 1 lb a week. At this point I would be happy with a lb a month. MFP gives me 1600 calories a day. I am 35 and weigh 188 at 5'3". I would really like to get down to like about 140. My injury is healed. I am doing yoga once a week, 4-5 cardio sessions a week about 40-60 minutes each and just started doing strength training again. I am trying to focus on eating enough protein and eating 5 smaller meals throughout the day. Thanks for the book suggestion. I am going to pick it up. I need some positive inspiration.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,264 Member
    Options
    Open your profile and allow people to see exactly what and how much you are eating. That will allow people to give you the best and most informed answers.
  • Collinsky
    Collinsky Posts: 593 Member
    Options
    Last night before I went to bed I had typed up a very long, detailed reply ... and of course the baby turned off my CPU before I could finish and post it. Of course. LOL


    The first thing I want to say is the most important: you got down to 159. ONE FIFTY NINE. That's awesome! You should get up right now and do a little dance, because that is fabulous. It's clear that where you're at now isn't where your body is always going to be. Something's going on that's got you a little stuck, but that doesn't mean you can't get past this point and get to where you want to be. This is just a snag, and you're going to either get some great advice from someone, or come across something, or trial-and-error (or all of those) and you'll get unstuck.

    You know that I'm a big believer in eating enough, so if you are set to lose 1 lb a week, and eating 1600 calories is what creates that deficit, then that is what you should do. Cutting to 1200 might seem like the answer, but in the long run it isn't necessarily helpful. It's not about everyone eating the least amount of calories you can survive on - it's about the deficit they're creating, and the number of calories for that can vary significantly. Honestly, as long as you are consistently eating less than maintenance, you should be losing, even if it's slow. Now that you're back to logging, that will give you a good picture of where you're at there.

    If logging is showing that you're in the right calorie range, and you're still not losing, then something is off. Since I'm pretty sure you accurately log your food, I would look at your exercise calories. Sometimes the calorie burn can be a bit inflated on MFP, and that throws off the whole equation. You may want to look into HRMs for that, to feel like they're getting a more accurate picture of what they burn. Do some searching through the forums on them, and see if it seems like something that would be helpful to you.

    Maybe setting a new fitness goal for yourself - one that has nothing to do with a scale or jeans size - might help energize you in a positive way. Sometimes focusing on the numbers is motivating... and sometimes it is frustrating and makes you feel like you might as well watch Laverne & Shirley while eating a half gallon of ice cream. When it starts making you feel ashamed, guilty, and overwhelmed... it's time to give it a time out in the closet and measure your progress another way.

Categories