Reverend’s wife needing support and friends

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StillLonely
StillLonely Posts: 6
in Introduce Yourself
Does anyone really care about anyone but them self? I do, but not really. I mean, I do so much for so many people and I can't find anyone to help me. Everyone knows I will just buck up and do it. I am so tired of being everything to everyone and not taking care of myself. I am falling apart. I really need someone to care about ME. Is there anyone on out there on this site that will let me vent, that will be my diary and not judge me and tell me that everything will be OK? I already know if will be OK, but sometimes I just need to let my hair down and be a regular person and not worry about what someone thinks and not worry about if my feelings are going to hurt my husbands job. Anyone?

Replies

  • thunt0975
    thunt0975 Posts: 16
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    Sorry you are feeling down. Being the rock does take it's toll on you. You do need to make "me" time and if you would like to vent to me, go right ahead. Good luck and I hope you realize you arent alone!
  • sabrina32576
    sabrina32576 Posts: 364 Member
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    I accept everyone for who they are and will be here to support you if you'd like. Feel free to add me.
  • stacymama5
    stacymama5 Posts: 391 Member
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    We all need to think about ourselves first!! It took many years and raising five children before I realized that. Feel free to add me.
  • jsbpitch
    jsbpitch Posts: 19 Member
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    I would love to help! If you are a "Pastors Wife" as your post implies-- I have seen my mother in law (also wife of a reverend) work herself to nothing sometimes! Always doing doing doing for everyone else. Feel free to vent!
  • lialuck13
    lialuck13 Posts: 58
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    Both of my parents are pastors - I know what ya mean. Feel free to add me! :)
  • LesaDave
    LesaDave Posts: 1,480 Member
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    From my experience so far, this is an EXCELLENT site for that. I have only seen support when I need it. You can do it!
  • sspetter
    sspetter Posts: 20 Member
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    I get it! Sometimes you need a safe place to vent without be accused of being negative! Feel free to add me if you'd like. Sounds like you are finding some "safe" new friends here :)
  • chrissiepooh
    chrissiepooh Posts: 45 Member
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    I can help. I love to inspire people to reach their goals. Add me if you like, and also, you can follow my blog (for weight loss and motivation). www.eatbloginspire.wordpress.com I will be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to!
    Chrissie
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
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    Feel free to add me...I'm good at being a shoulder to cry on!!
  • kvannicola
    kvannicola Posts: 1
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    Everything you have said is pretty much similar to how I feel sometimes. I don't have any relatives that are pastors, but I know how you feel when it comes down to feeling like you don't matter to anyone and that you try and try for so long that it just hurts when you don't get that feeling in return. I have been feeling similar to that for a while now, because I am a new mother of a 5 month old. She is my first and I am 23 and so my husband and I are struggling with so many things and not sure how to take care of each other so to speak. I do and do, I work almost full time, go to school part time and still work full time when I get home. So I am definitely here for help as well and willing to help you. I am adding you as a friend so let's help each other together:)
  • RedVelvetCurls
    RedVelvetCurls Posts: 304 Member
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    I've met my share of meanies on this site, believe me. I just remove them when they get too nasty. Anyone can add me, I'm supportive.
  • chevvy53
    chevvy53 Posts: 44
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    Hi add me too !!! bless you
  • phy40
    phy40 Posts: 260 Member
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    My heart goes out to you. You stated, "You are falling apart". I sometimes feel that way and please know that you're not alone. My suggestion would be to get some professional help, You really need friends that will hang out with you and allow you to be "just one of the girls" and not the 1st Lady or the Preacher's Wife. Women are caretakers by nature and this role, if we aren't careful will keep us from living our best life. I hope my post helps you and feel free to add me as a FRIEND! Besst Wishes!!!!
  • MsTigger2
    MsTigger2 Posts: 2
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    I just took a walk to the library since it's such a beautiful day. As I walked I prayed. I will pray for you and your success with MFP. I know that I personally can't do it without His help. Psalm 34:15 says The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry. God loves you and knows everything your going through. May He give you comfort and bless you. May He help all of us who put our trust in Him. And, for those who don't know Him, may they find His love too!
  • StillLonely
    StillLonely Posts: 6
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    Thank you everyone... you are renewing my spirit.

    @ MsTigger2 - thank you so much for the prayers. I have really been feeling that God is not listening to me right now. I know it is Satan trying to make me feel that way. I appreciate the prayer support more than words can express.

    @phy40 - I wanted to see a professional Christian counselor, we can not afford it. Our congregation will pay for it on a case by case basis but it has to be approved. I asked one of the Elders and he would not approve it without going to the other Elders to ask and I just did not want anyone to know. Part of the issue is my husband and my feeling that I am not a priority. I truly believe that being able to "vent" to all of you will help me. Knowing that someone else is experiencing similar feelings is helpful and we can all help each other.

    @kvannicola - you are so young to be so sad all ready. Please do what ever it takes to figure out how to become "friends" with your husband. Once all of the physical attraction is not as strong marriage will become more of a struggle, true friendships last a life time. I hope we can help each other too.
  • MsTigger2
    MsTigger2 Posts: 2
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    I prayed for this group today while I was on my treadmill. Especially, for Rev's wife! We all get down (I've been there many times). However, I know that one thing that helps me is to take time "For Me" to exercise and set a goal to improve myself. There are so many things that we are not in control of. So, I feel like I'm going to take control of the one thing I can. And, that is to make time to exercise and not go for the pantry out of boredom or "feelings". I actually plan out my daily meals ahead of time which allows me to know just how much I can have. Like if I want ice cream, I'd better exercise more :-) Also, take a good vitamin as (I take Flintstones chewable) because vitamin deficiency can affect you mentally too! May God Bless You all today!
  • spinqueen72
    spinqueen72 Posts: 406 Member
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    You are not alone! We are all here to help. I am not a Pastor or married to one...but I AM a Worship Leader at one of the largest churches in Colorado. Everywhere I go, people recognize me. I feel like I have to watch EVERYTHING I do & say when I'm out in public! I'm setting an example for the church....and yes, I get frustrated and want to give the singing up. I always feel like I'm being watched, and scrutinized....(Christians can be so mean!) I know God has given me a gift, and He has placed me where He wants me to use that gift. So I just need to remind myself of that when I'm out.

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