Motivate Your Partner!!! (Alert: Racy)

It's amazing how many people are still messaging me or asking me questions about this blog. It seems to be a hot topic among people trying to find ways to get their partner involved in a healthier lifestyle. I thought I would re-post it in the forum to give everyone a good chuckle. Please don't read this out of context. It was a fun game I created to get my hubby on the fitness wagon... and it worked (a little too well in my opinion). He's down 43 pounds!!!

Original blog: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/bjohs/view/sex-weight-loss-117390

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Sex & Weight Loss
Posted on 06/23/2011

TMI ALERT! If you are uncomfortable with the word "sex" or any kind of sexual innuendo... stop reading immediately and back out of this page now. :)

The reason for today's blog is because I had commented on a MFP friend's forum post titled "When your spouse doesn't share your fitness enthusiasm"... and since then I have received countless messages. Your messages literally made me LOL! So thank you for the laughs and sharing your stories. You guys are a riot!

Since then, I have read new posts in the forum mentioning how someone wishes their partner/spouse/mate would share their same desire to become healthy. This could be losing weight, quitting smoking, etc. First of all, you cannot force someone to eat better or start exercising if they are unwilling to change. No amount of begging, bargaining or guilt tactics will get them to change their minds. If anything, it may cause unnecessary tension between the both of you.

But if you have a partner who has mentioned on occasion that they would like to drop a few pounds, have indicated that they need to take better care of themselves or has the desire to feel better... then there is hope! For most of them, "saying" it out loud is enough for them. But "doing" it is another story. So how do you get them off the couch or away from the computer? How do you motivate them to take the first step? How do you give them a nudge to set them in motion?

Sorry, I don't have the answer. But I will share with you what I did to get my husband motivated. Maybe it will inspire you to come up with your own unique and creative ideas.

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In December 2010, my husband had watched me drop weight and change my eating habits. He would comment on how good I was looking and that he should get back in to shape too. Then... nothing. I made a deal with him. The deal was that I would work hard to change something he didn't like about me or my habits if he would lose just 20 pounds. I wasn't asking for much since he needs to lose more than 60 pounds to be in a healthy BMI range. He thought that was a good plan... then more of nothing.

What could I do to get him started? I thought long and hard. Then it hit me... what does any man want? DUH... more sex! We've been together for 21 years and our 15th wedding anniversary is coming up in July. We have 2 young children and we both work from home with our own businesses. We see each other all the time but we never really have time to enjoy each other's company. By the evening, we are both so exhausted that we can't wait to crawl to bed and crash. Needless to say, intimacy had taken a back seat to everything else going on in our lives.

I approached him with my idea. I said, "Here's what I'm thinking. What if for every pound you lose starting today, you earn one sex credit? You get to decide when we are going to have sex and I cannot say no or complain in any way. I can't be too busy, have a headache or be too tired. The only catch is that you cannot lose the same pound twice. If you gain any weight, you have to get back to where you left off before earning any new credits. Would that motivate you to start exercising and eating better?"

His reply? "Hell yes!"

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!!

The plan was put in to place in January 2011. I playfully named it the "Pound for Pound Challenge". He has since lost 37 pounds!  As you can imagine, I'm a little tuckered out... but I'm NOT complaining! He's doing it... and I couldn't be happier. Then in May, I noticed he was starting to slack off. He wasn't exercising like he was in the beginning and his cheat meals were becoming more frequent. I decided to up the ante. "For every pound you lose in June, I will DOUBLE the amount of credits you earn." He looked at me as if I had just handed him a winning lottery ticket! Guess what? He is a workout machine this month!!!

The end result has been more rewarding than just becoming healthier. I am happy because he is losing weight. He is happy because he is getting more sex. We are both happier which has made our relationship stronger than ever and we are taking time to enjoy each other's company again. We laugh more. We kiss more. We hold hands more. It's been absolutely wonderful!

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Will this tactic work for everyone? Probably not. If someone is not willing to meet you halfway, it is pointless to try and bargain with them. Is more sex the answer? It was for my husband, but maybe not for every man. Think of things that make your partner "tick". Do they like to read, hunt, fish, play video games? What is it that they want? What are their interests? Then try to find a fun way to incorporate that in to your relationship.

If you are a male reading my blog, then maybe the reverse could work for you. If your female partner loses a pound, maybe she can earn one "NO" credit? That really isn't very helpful to a relationship... but I know that I could use a basket full of "NO" credits on occasion. LOL!

No matter how you decide to approach your relationship, know this... by supporting each other in whatever their decision may be helps build a solid foundation. When the time is right, they will know they can trust you to help them achieve their goals. And sometimes... they just need the right incentive. ;-)

Live. Love. Peace.