Unhealthy relationships with food....

Scoobies100 · February 2012

I've always been very foody but for a while now my relationship with food has changed.

I am constantly thinking about food, what I can eat and when. Even when I am not hungry I will always want to eat and even when I am stuffed I will already be thinking what to eat for my next meal.

When I over eat (which is quite often) or eat something I know I shouldn't, I beat myself up about it for the rest of the day/night. I will tell myself I am disgusting and that I deserve to be unhappy with my figure. Sometimes I even cry about it.

The scales can determine my mood for the day - If I gain I will be in a foul mood for the whole day.
I sometimes cancel plans with friends or put off seeing them for a while because I am terrified of gaining weight from drinking/eating out. I know I should be able to make healthy choices, but once I am in that situation I just go all out.

I also spend some time googling celebrity bodies that I aspire to in an attempt to kick me up the *kitten* but end up feeling crappier (and eating).

Is this normal for someone who is trying to lose weight? If so does it subside after reaching your goal? Or does it go deeper then that? Would be grateful for some answers. If you don't want to share then Pm me x

AntWrig · February 2012

I've always been very foody but for a while now my relationship with food has changed.

I am constantly thinking about food, what I can eat and when. Even when I am not hungry I will always want to eat and even when I am stuffed I will already be thinking what to eat for my next meal.

When I over eat (which is quite often) or eat something I know I shouldn't, I beat myself up about it for the rest of the day/night. I will tell myself I am disgusting and that I deserve to be unhappy with my figure. Sometimes I even cry about it.

The scales can determine my mood for the day - If I gain I will be in a foul mood for the whole day.
I sometimes cancel plans with friends or put off seeing them for a while because I am terrified of gaining weight from drinking/eating out. I know I should be able to make healthy choices, but once I am in that situation I just go all out.

I also spend some time googling celebrity bodies that I aspire to in an attempt to kick me up the *kitten* but end up feeling crappier (and eating).

Is this normal for someone who is trying to lose weight? If so does it subside after reaching your goal? Or does it go deeper then that? Would be grateful for some answers. If you don't want to share then Pm me x

This is not normal. I use to weigh 315 lbs and never had issues like this. Food is exactly what it is FOOD. Look at it as fuel for the body.

You need to deal with other issues.

Sidesteal · February 2012

I don't have any solutions for you but I think you are developing a problem and I would urge you to seek professional help before this turns into an ED.

runnercheryl · February 2012

Food addiction (which it sounds like you're describing in the first paragraph), in my opinion never goes away. I was exactly the same before I started my healthy lifestyle. Food was constantly on my mind and I was always thinking forward to the next time I could eat and counting down the minutes.

16 months later, I'm in control of WHAT I eat but I still think about food a lot. I don't think I'll get over that, but where I once thought about all the delicious things I could eat and the huge portions I could plan to have, I now think about what can fit into my calorie goal and what my options are for my health. I've distracted myself from my addiction by making myself a bit addicted to calorie counting, and to the thrill of making an active choice (good or bad) rather than eating passively.

It's just a case of keeping that in check, too. People can get addicted to counting calories and trying to have fewer and fewer, but I doubt I'd ever get like that - I like trying to hit my target every day.

Don't beat yourself up if you go over on your calories for the day. Just aim to be making active choices - "Do I really want that pizza? Yes, I do" is a million times better than "Ooh...pizza...nomnom!"

astroub · February 2012

I don't have any solutions for you but I think you are developing a problem and I would urge you to seek professional help before this turns into an ED.

^^^^ agreed!
Your profile pic looks beautiful and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself! Food addiction is real though and I truly believe you would benefit by talking to someone... Reaching out here though was an excellent idea and maybe this will help you with your journey! Good luck and I will be thinking of you!

Fay84Vegan · February 2012

I have simular feelings with food that you appear to have although i fear yours is more savere!?
I think that your feelings about food and the guilt that comes with it are a worry - Have you been to see a doctor / dietitian for advice?

DuChene2012 · February 2012

First of all, if today's weight determines your mood for the rest of the day, for God's sake woman, either avoid the scale or learn to see it as today's challenge of "What can I do today that will help me look FORWARD to tomorrow?" Your predicament may be founded by 1 or more issues: depression (are you an emotional eater??), pressure from family/friends to look like Catherine Zeta-Jones, or an eating disorder. You say you're disgusted with yourself when you look into the mirror. Learn to see yourself as you WANT to see yourself, and use that as your goal. People with an eating disorder will never feel comfortable in their own skin, thus you will never EVER be pleased by what the scale tells you. What a horrible way to live! See yourself in a better way - forcibly if need be. Movie star physiques are, to be truthful, near anorexic. Look at the tabloids of Angelina Jolie when she was scary thin! Celebrity shapes are NOT what a natural woman's shape should look like, and trust me - if you're going to troll the Web and stare at all the beautiful models' shapes, your perspective is already seriously warped.

There is no such thing as a food addiction, but there are multiple psychological and psychosocial patterns that push women (and men) to raiding the fridge at all hours of the day or night. Depression, boredom, anger, joy, talking to your critical mother-in-law, whatever. YOU determine what your mood will be, not another person, not the photo-shopped image of a supermodel, and DEFINITELY not a weight scale!

If you exercise, keep doing it. Strive each day to make healthful food choices, and if you eat a slice of birthday cake or a candy bar today, don't sweat it...but also try not to go over the calorie limit you set for yourself. Life is supposed to be enjoyable, and if you can't look at a cookie or a slice of black cherry cheesecake without wanting to flog yourself in some dark corner somewhere, then come into the light - see food from someone else's eyes. Food is never the enemy...the enemy is what drives you to over-eat. Attack that and your relationship with food will get better and better. :flowerforyou:

barefoot76 · February 2012

There is no such thing as a food addiction, but there are multiple psychological and psychosocial patterns that push women (and men) to raiding the fridge at all hours of the day or night.

Um, no. There is such a thing as food addiction AND there are patterns that push us to raid the fridge. It helps to deal with both.

The real issue is: Is your obsession with food and your body interfering with your life? Are you having trouble focusing on work? Do you talk about it obsessively with others, like friends or family (or have trouble socializing because it is all you want to talk about and they don't want to)? Are you unable to go swimming or out places where you feel self-conscious about your body? Do you binge or starve yourself cylically? Are you sometimes or often consumed by self-hatred because of your relationship with food or exercise?

Overeaters Anonymous is a great place to get support -- you don't have to be overweight, you can even be underweight, it really is just a place to talk to others who are feeling the same way. If you don't like groups, a therapist who is experienced with food addiction can be a great place to start, too. The key is to take it one day at a time. Every time you feel the negativity creeping in, gently guide yourself towards positive thinking and back to whatever you need to be doing (working, spending time with friends and family, etc).

For me, personally, I find that it helps to re-focus on right now. If I look too far ahead into the future, I start freaking and getting obsessed. I have set times of day that I eat, and I set alarms on my phone to remind me. That way, when I start getting obsessed about whether I am hungry or whatever, I can just tell myself, "Just eat when the alarm says it is time to eat. Don't worry about it until then." The more I can re-train myself to eat on auto-pilot, the less I worry about it every second. I can tell myself I don't have to worry about it right now. As for body image stuff, it is hard. I have to remind myself that my husband loves me even though I am not my image of "perfect." And I tell myself that there is no "perfect" -- different people have different tastes, no matter what the magazines say!

Anyway, what you are experiencing isn't wrong, or bad. I get into ruts of obsessive thinking, it is just my personality. Try to relax when you get in these zones and slowly talk yourself out of them. If it is truly messing with your ability to live a happy life, get help. Friend me if you need more one-on-one support!

DuChene2012 · February 2012

"Um, no. There is such a thing as food addiction AND there are patterns that push us to raid the fridge. It helps to deal with both."

Uh, sorry but you are not correct. Food is NOT an addictive property. Food is NOT a drug. It's just the easiest element to turn to when things turn south! The term "food addiction" is linked to a psychological behavior pattern to describe the end-result of triggers that prompt a person to use food as a source of comfort.

Scoobies100 · February 2012

There is no such thing as a food addiction, but there are multiple psychological and psychosocial patterns that push women (and men) to raiding the fridge at all hours of the day or night.

Um, no. There is such a thing as food addiction AND there are patterns that push us to raid the fridge. It helps to deal with both.

The real issue is: Is your obsession with food and your body interfering with your life? Are you having trouble focusing on work? Do you talk about it obsessively with others, like friends or family (or have trouble socializing because it is all you want to talk about and they don't want to)? Are you unable to go swimming or out places where you feel self-conscious about your body? Do you binge or starve yourself cylically? Are you sometimes or often consumed by self-hatred because of your relationship with food or exercise?

It certainly does interfere with my life, especially my social life. I do talk about it a lot, to be honest I think everyone is sick of hearing it and I sometimes have to make a concious effort not to, especially with people who are overweight as they are not understanding and think I am just attention seeking.

I will no set foot in a swimming pool and the idea of going on a beach holiday and getting into a bikini makes me feel awful. If I ever brought myself around to it, I would only sit and stare at the gorgeous bodies and feel like crap. So yes, I think I am finally recognizing that this maybe a problem....

Sidesteal · February 2012

. So yes, I think I am finally recognizing that this maybe a problem....

That's the first step. Go get professional help.

And for the record I think you look fantastic.

runnercheryl · February 2012

Um, no. There is such a thing as food addiction AND there are patterns that push us to raid the fridge. It helps to deal with both.

Uh, sorry but you are not correct. Food is NOT an addictive property. Food is NOT a drug. It's just the easiest element to turn to when things turn south! The term "food addiction" is linked to a psychological behavior pattern to describe the end-result of triggers that prompt a person to use food as a source of comfort.

There certainly IS such thing as a food addiction. Yes, it's psychological. When food is in your thoughts almost constantly and you can't control your approach to it, it's an addiction.

Addiction is described as:

The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

'Activities' aren't physically addictive, but you CAN be addicted to them.

DuChene2012 · February 2012

"There certainly IS such thing as a food addiction. Yes, it's psychological. When food is in your thoughts almost constantly and you can't control your approach to it, it's an addiction.

Addiction is described as:

The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

'Activities' aren't physically addictive, but you CAN be addicted to them. "

Again, no. Sorry, ladies. NO behavior is addictive, no food is addictive. what is addictive is THE TRIGGER. "Activities" are not addictive, but what motivates you to exercise IS the addiction! You can change your behavior and instead of turning to food for that comfort, you turn to, say, alcohol or shopping or basket weaving for your comfort. So, NO. Food is never the addiction!

runnercheryl · February 2012

Again, no. Sorry, ladies. NO behavior is addictive, no food is addictive. what is addictive is THE TRIGGER. "Activities" are not addictive, but what motivates you to exercise IS the addiction!

Whatever. As long as the OP has had our opinions to look over you're not really worth debating this with.

DuChene2012 · February 2012

"Whatever. As long as the OP has had our opinions to look over you're not really worth debating this with. "

There's opinion and there's fact. There's really no debate when the answer is obvious and clear-cut...My point is to keep the OP's focus on what to change - not her desire for food, but her search to identify what triggers her to commit that behavior, and that's what the focus should be. Food was never your enemy. The trigger that motivated you to use food is the enemy. Attack the trigger.

Look, none of us are perfect. We all over-eat, we all have our triumphant days and our not-so triumphant days. I swear I could eat my weight in chocolate every day if I let myself, but I've since learned a few things. I spent a few years re-training myself in my own behavior, and I am an authority on this "addiction" topic. There are a few ways to change unhealthy behaviors: 1) Change your beliefs. 2) Change your environment. 3) Change your behavior. When you look at it, any of the three you change will affect the other two. If you change your belief about food, your behavior and environment will also change. Beliefs affect behavior, so if your behavior was to run to McDonald's when life throws you a stone, by changing your belief that food is a tool, not the solution, McDonald's will not be seeing so much of you. Plus, your environment will change in that you may start driving to the gym instead to McD's. Get it? Change your environment at home - don't keep foods you know you'll snack on in the house! Then your behavior to munch will change (no more munching), and in turn your beliefs that you "need" that snack or that second helping will fall in line. Change your behavior - instead of going to the cookie jar, drink water, or garden - do something that keeps you active, or eat only 1-2 bites of that cake (there's no law that says you HAVE to eat the entire thing!). It's like running; you need to find your own pace - something that works for YOU - and stay with it.

My view is that I have so many calories to eat in a day and I am determined not to go over them, so when I think I hear chocolate calling my name I may eat a piece or I may tell myself "no" because I'll be going out to dinner later and don't want to ruin my success, or I want to save my calories for lunch or dinner or for movie popcorn. Change takes time, and consistency is the key for lasting and successful change....

runnercheryl · February 2012

Look, none of us are perfect. We all over-eat, we all have our triumphant days and our not-so triumphant days. I swear I could eat my weight in chocolate every day if I let myself, but I've since learned a few things. I spent a few years re-training myself in my own behavior, and I am an authority on this "addiction" topic. There are a few ways to change unhealthy behaviors: 1) Change your beliefs. 2) Change your environment. 3) Change your behavior. When you look at it, any of the three you change will affect the other two. If you change your belief about food, your behavior and environment will also change. Beliefs affect behavior, so if your behavior was to run to McDonald's when life throws you a stone, by changing your belief that food is a tool, not the solution, McDonald's will not be seeing so much of you. Plus, your environment will change in that you may start driving to the gym instead to McD's. Get it? Change your environment at home - don't keep foods you know you'll snack on in the house! Then your behavior to munch will change (no more munching), and in turn your beliefs that you "need" that snack or that second helping will fall in line. Change your behavior - instead of going to the cookie jar, drink water, or garden - do something that keeps you active, or eat only 1-2 bites of that cake (there's no law that says you HAVE to eat the entire thing!). It's like running; you need to find your own pace - something that works for YOU - and stay with it.

My view is that I have so many calories to eat in a day and I am determined not to go over them, so when I think I hear chocolate calling my name I may eat a piece or I may tell myself "no" because I'll be going out to dinner later and don't want to ruin my success, or I want to save my calories for lunch or dinner or for movie popcorn. Change takes time, and consistency is the key for lasting and successful change....

And I agree with all of this. Well, minus the bit about you being an authority.

DuChene2012 · February 2012

"And I agree with all of this. Well, minus the bit about you being an authority. "

I can see I've ruffled a few feathers. This is a good thing. I realize you don't know me, Cherylpj, and I'm OK with your sarcastic dubious remarks. I don't need to prove anything to you or anyone. But I will tell you this: I work with overweight and obese people every day. You get your definitions from Webster while I work out of the DSM IV on a regular basis. You are entitled to your own belief, and if that belief works for you, well here's where it's gotten you in life. We all want to put a face or a name to our enemy, someone or something we can blame -- ANYthing but turn around and admit what the REAL enemy is. So let's get into the heart of addiction, shall we?

Bob tells you in his own unique way that you are fat. Or ugly. Or clumsy. Or stupid - something that is less than what he deems desirable. This, of course, makes you feel bad, so you go home and eat an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's. What was the trigger? Bob? No, he's just an insignificant jerk. The ice cream? Nope, that is just the learned response to the trigger. The true trigger is this: you. Your own psyche is the only trigger, and the addiction is your insatiable need to silence your own perception of the void you believe exists. As I said, our beliefs change our behavior. We all would love to blame Bob for your behavior in eating the ice cream, but Bob is not the issue - in fact, Bob was NEVER the issue. The issue has always been you, your beliefs about yourself and what measures you will take to silence that perception of lack. Where did this feeling or belief about yourself originate? Nobody forced you to believe this about yourself. You may well be a giving, loving, nurturing woman. So who wore down your resistance? A parent? A spouse or significant other? Some bully in school? Someone at some horrible time in your life said and/or did something to you to make you think you were anything other than desirable, wanted, or worthy. At some point, you started to believe this as a fact, and your subconscious set a few safety measures in place - self-preservation techniques- to help you cope with this hideous belief without actually ever dealing with it and thus subdue it enough to begin healing. Turning around and looking at yourself is the most difficult first step in confronting someone's whacked perception of you that in turn persuaded you to believe it yourself. Like an infection, except that you nurture and feed it. Literally.

My angst is that women are far too often too unassertive. Cruel, yes - women can be extremely cruel and "catty." Like you are to me, for instance, cherylpj. Your ineffective jabs roll off of me. But too often women (and men) internalize those jabs, and food is one of the most convenient and readily available means to cover those bruises. Like the battered wife who smears makeup over her black eye: Cover it up and no one will be the wiser. In time, food is the only thing that rushes to the rescue and before you know it, you are overweight. So now, after years of self-loathing you seek measures to reverse the damage. But how to stop? Enduring one failed diet after another? Gastric bypass? That may fix the obesity issue but it will never release the addiction. I've known too many patients who have had their gastric bypass and traded in their food for alcohol, cocaine, sex, or shopping. The addiction -- that insatiable need to silence the perceived lack -- still lives, but since food can no longer silence it they simply trade it in for another destructive behavior to feed that addiction.

In all truth, cherylpj, you have no inadequacies except those which you perceive from someone else's perception, and your beliefs are the very chains that keep you enslaved in this addiction of yours. Confront the source of your addiction - that memory of the idiot who suckered you in to believing his or her bullsh**, and for once make the addiction bow to YOUR command, instead of you bowing to it. There are enough toxic personalities in your life -- don't rise up and join them. Beat them. :happy:

ninerbuff · February 2012

While food addiction isn't recognized by the AMA or APA, my opinion is that there are addictive properties of certain foods and how they cause chemical reaction in the brain. There are peer reviewed studies that have been done to prove it. The Food Addiction Institute has compiled a bibliography of 2,733 peer-reviewed studies on aspects of food addiction. Human genetic research, animal studies, brain imaging and biochemical studies of the digestive processes all indicate that some people could experience addictions to food. There are more than 70 million food-addicted adults in the U.S. according to estimates by David Kessler, professor of pediatrics epidemiology and biostatistics at UC San Francisco Medical School and a former commissioner of the U.S Food and Drug Administration.

Just thought both arguments that food addiction does/doesn't exist actually have proof to back up both.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Brunner26_2 · February 2012

OP, this is actually pretty common on this site. Here's a thread from this week full of people like you.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/500829-do-you-have-a-healthy-relationship-with-food

runnercheryl · February 2012

I can see I've ruffled a few feathers. This is a good thing. I realize you don't know me, Cherylpj, and I'm OK with your sarcastic dubious remarks

If I can just say a few more things:

I was at no point being sarcastic. I was telling you from my own experience and those of people I've known that food addiction does exist. I'm not saying it's not psychological, but I am saying that it doesn't have to be down to 'filling a void' or dealing with negativity. I am saying that addiction is the inability to function without thinking about a certain thing constantly. In much the same way as a smoker is PHYSICALLY addicted to cigarettes - they MUST have them, even if their mood is absolutely fine - people CAN become addicted to food. When it's in your thoughts every few minutes, for no reason, and when it starts taking over your life, I consider that to be an addiction.

I don't myself feel I have inadequacies, but that doesn't mean I don't still think about food more than is probably healthy. As I said in my original post to the OP, I don't think it ever goes away though you do learn to distract yourself with other things. Smokers can go cold-turkey, so can alcoholics, but food addicts have to face food every day and learn ways to deal with it more effectively, and that's the tough part though, as I explained in my original post, it's entirely possible, of course.

I don't believe I've been 'catty' or 'sarcastic' anywhere. It's you who came onto this thread and began being rude and acting like a know-it-all when others were giving the OP advice and opinion.

PercivalHackworth · February 2012

To the OP - Being deep down in that **** - I can relate (see the other post)
So far, and knowing few people IRL with the same issue, here are the datas I've been able to gather :
- The eating disorder is just a symptom no more : thinking about food 24/7, being obsessed by calories, etc...
Commonly the ED is linked to either anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or both

The AN/ BN are themselves symptoms of something else : the food is a material we are not able to only consider as it's primal function : energy. I've myself today totally extracted the perception I should have from it and turned it into a total abstraction (I'm not seeing, feeling food; instead it's a real wacko relationship with it).

The more you being honest towards yourself, the les deep you'll end : I'm myself now seeing a nutritionist which helps me, and I'm constantly fighting not to be totally lost. It's a real mess since you fall into it, so watch out.

Unhealthy relationships with food....

Replies

Categories