off track already and so disappointed....
khadeejah1
Posts: 24
Hi Everyone,
I don't know what to say.....I'm just frustrated and disappointed in myself that it's been two weeks and already I've overeaten the past two days by quite a bit. It's typical of me and makes me worry that I won't be able to stick to a plan and will continue on the same path of bingeing and gaining weight.
Does anyone have advice on getting back on track after a binge? I'm just worried that this is what it will be like, that I will have a good week or two and completely undo all of my hard work in two days and I won't be able to get my weight to budge. I'm tired of carrying around this excess weight (physically and mentally) and can get focussed in the beginning but staying focussed is the hard part, it's easy to talk myself out of getting my health on track because I feel like no matter what I've tried over the past few years nothing has worked and I've steadily gained weight so what's the point, that it's just a matter of time before I give up and just let my health continue to deteriorate, basically this whole pathetic, defeatist attitude that nothing will change, will things really be better if I can lose the weight?
I think food is such a comfort to me that the idea of 'dieting' or attempting to eat healthier feels like I'm being mean to myself for lack of better words, like torture even because I'm taking away the one thing that I know will always make me happy if even for a brief moment, even though I know when I binge it's another form of torture for myself. I don't know if I should really be writing any of this.....does anyone else feel this way ever, and how do you keep yourself motivated and looking forward? How do I stay on track for longer than a week or two? Anything would be appreciated, any advice would be so helpful right now, I hate that I feel like giving up right now, I've lost and gained significant amounts of weight for years, but the past few years I think I've just given up on myself and I don't know how to get back on track, I really don't know what to do and feel like if I don't make a change, if I don't really want to and stay motivated to make a change, that I will continue on to develop health problems until it's too late..... the sad thing is that I don't even know if that's enough motivation anymore....
I don't know what to say.....I'm just frustrated and disappointed in myself that it's been two weeks and already I've overeaten the past two days by quite a bit. It's typical of me and makes me worry that I won't be able to stick to a plan and will continue on the same path of bingeing and gaining weight.
Does anyone have advice on getting back on track after a binge? I'm just worried that this is what it will be like, that I will have a good week or two and completely undo all of my hard work in two days and I won't be able to get my weight to budge. I'm tired of carrying around this excess weight (physically and mentally) and can get focussed in the beginning but staying focussed is the hard part, it's easy to talk myself out of getting my health on track because I feel like no matter what I've tried over the past few years nothing has worked and I've steadily gained weight so what's the point, that it's just a matter of time before I give up and just let my health continue to deteriorate, basically this whole pathetic, defeatist attitude that nothing will change, will things really be better if I can lose the weight?
I think food is such a comfort to me that the idea of 'dieting' or attempting to eat healthier feels like I'm being mean to myself for lack of better words, like torture even because I'm taking away the one thing that I know will always make me happy if even for a brief moment, even though I know when I binge it's another form of torture for myself. I don't know if I should really be writing any of this.....does anyone else feel this way ever, and how do you keep yourself motivated and looking forward? How do I stay on track for longer than a week or two? Anything would be appreciated, any advice would be so helpful right now, I hate that I feel like giving up right now, I've lost and gained significant amounts of weight for years, but the past few years I think I've just given up on myself and I don't know how to get back on track, I really don't know what to do and feel like if I don't make a change, if I don't really want to and stay motivated to make a change, that I will continue on to develop health problems until it's too late..... the sad thing is that I don't even know if that's enough motivation anymore....
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Replies
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If i think i will never have another piece of birthday cake with butter cream frosting, i would never do this. Instead, i only think about today and about trying to get enough healthy food. I start with that. Then, i consider if there's room for a treat today. But i never ever let myself feel like i am going to be deprived. It is just too depressing and i have an 18 month journey ahead of me if i really want to get heathy.
I also struggle with not doing enough - a little too much food, not quite enough exercise (i have yet to hit the 10,000 step goal on my FitBit!) I kick myself for wasting a Saturday (and i'm halfway through wasting a Sunday as well) not getting in a great long gym session.
But the next day is a new day and i go right back to my healthy breakfast, seeing what veggies are in the fridge i can chop up for lunch, and trying to get through today.
You can never go back and have a do-over so beating yourself up about it is a waste of time and an excuse to stop. So just don't do it. Just move forward.
I'm not sure that's very helpful, but i've just talked myself into getting up off my *kitten* and heading for the gym.
Good luck and don't lose belief that you can.0 -
Well besides losing the weight, is there a HUGE goal in sight? Like a family gathering? impressing someone? Jumping back on and off sounds to me that you are making huge commitments with no punishment if you fall off. Seeing yourself with a goal to strive for will keep you on track0
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Give yourself time to settle in.
I have only been here a week. My first day was good and then I over ate for the next 3 ( one of them by 600+ cals!!) but I have lost weight this week. How? Exercise. I am going for the cals in v cals out vision and I know that eventually, if I plateau, it will come off again.
Good luck0 -
I know how you feel. Last year i lost quite a bit of weight on my own as i had a goal. We got married in December after 20 years together (i wanted to look reasonable on my wedding day even though we only told our mothers). It has been much harder since then. I have had a few off days and have only just started losing weight again (although i think i ate a bit much yesterday and feel bloated today). Try and think of a goal (a nice outfit you really want) and see if that helps. I have found it easier joining this site as there are people on here going through the same thing. Hope this helps x
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i think we all have had a similar problem staying on track,
1, try not to eat out until you have your diet in your stride
2, dont food shop on a empty stomach, you will find this easier to make healthy choices whilst shopping
3, try and plan your week and cook meals in advance,
4, be strict while dieting but allow your self 1 cheat meal aweek
5, stop being so hard on yourself, love you for being you, you can achieve anything you want
hope this helps a little0 -
i dont know were you are from,,, in the uk the NHS are promoting healthy living, its a very useful site have a look see if it helps
http://www.nhs.uk/Change4Life/Pages/change-for-life.aspx0 -
Hi, If food is your passion maybe you could bend the passion a bit and make it your mission to make the tastiest, healthiest amazing food instead of instant and bad. Then you would respect your love of food and lose weight.
Then if you up your exercise a bit at a time, just 10 mins and then 15 mins etc you will find that your body and mind will look forward to it. The exercise makes you feel smug and rightly so!
We all have days when we just want to climb in the cupboard and eat everything in sight. :flowerforyou: It isn't something you should punish yourself about.
So, I am giving you permission to stop being so hard on yourself. Put a new day on and look for things to do that involve lots of moving about. Even if that is just washing the car!
I didn't lose anything this week either, so I am heading out for a walk in the gorgeous sunshine!
Good luck and you can send me a friend request if you would like.
x0 -
When I fell off the wagon last week I gave myaelf a treat of 200 calories more a day. I went from 1400 to 1600 calories a day. I got a lot of support from my MFP friends. It really helped me a lot. Two days is not bad. Just try to get back on the zone. Good luck0
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Of course you can do this!
Besides, by eating healthy, amazing food that is good to and for your body could never be to be mean to yourself. For me I had to change my mentality, I had to stop looking at unhealthy food as a way to reward myself or to comfort myself. To make and eat food that taste amazing that I know is really good for me as well, that if anything should feel awarding because I'm doing myself a favour. If I have had a bad day now I don't eat cake or chocolate, I go for a run. It is a lot more effective when it comes to clearing my head and banishing that bad mood than eating is, and it means I can leave the cake and chocolate to another occasion - one that is not based in anger or sadness. Instead I have those kinds of foods when they should be consumed - birthdays for example, or in very small quantities simply when I feel like it and it's guilt free because I know they're not part of a binge I'll regret later, I know they're ~just~ food.
You're a fantastic, amazing human being, don't let food control you, how you feel about yourself or what you do in life. There should be more to you than your eating habits, after all eating should be for nutrition and fuel so that you can go out into the world and do whatever you want to do, it shouldn't be what holds you back or defines who you are.
Anyway what I'm trying to say I guess is that you can never punish yourself or be mean by feeding yourself food that will make your body healthy and well. Think of every healthy meal, every healthy day, and every healthy week as you being kind to yourself - make sure to treat yourself to plenty of exercise as well and it won't matter if you have the odd cake or bit of chocolate from time to time.0 -
You sound a lot like where I was before I started on MFP. Food controlled me and I despised myself for not being strong willed enough to stop my binge eating behaviour which was destroying my health.
For me two of the foods that I often binged on I had an intolerance for dairy and gluten. On the first day of signing up to MFP I decided that it was going to be about health not just weight loss so I thought I would try cutting those foods out as well and see how I went. Because I was cutting gluten out that meant alot of prepackaged processed stuff was off my list this automatically dropped my sodium levels down.
My other decision was to get in as much raw food as I could so while I would still cook sweet potato, chicken and rice most of my veg is raw.
I did some research and went out and bought foods that were nutrient dense, nuts, seeds, dark green leafy veg, a few hippy foods like dried goldenberries, raw cacao, coconut oil.
An amazing thing happened from the first day.
When you eat alot of raw veg, its bulky and fills you up at first I had trouble even getting to 1200 cal. But the most important thing was that the cravings stopped straight away. I haven't needed to even use will power, its been easy. I feel guilty whenever I see a post saying how hard this is and we have to earn our weight loss. I feel like for me (so far) its been a gluten free cakewalk.
I love the food that I eat and I never feel deprived. I eat mountains of food and my mum is horrified whenever she looks at the stacked up giant bowls I use to hold my lunch or dinner. When ever she turns around I have a piece of fruit or something I am munching on. I kept reassuring her I was losing weight but it was only the other day she could really see a difference in my body and stopped worrying about the truckload of food I was blithely consuming!
Food isnt a torture for me anymore. I love pigging out on food that is great for my body and is yummy and guilt free.
I know there are alot of people that say you can eat whatever you want in moderation and that works for them. For some its like telling a drug addict to have only a little meth because our bodies just react to some foods differently. Refined carb (maybe the gluten) and dairy seem to trigger binging for me.
I can't tell you for sure what it is that I have done to stop the craving/binging cold maybe it was dealing with my food intolerences? All I know is how freeing it was to discover that it wasn't just that I was weak willed, my body was responding to my old way of eating by producing really strong cravings and a dependency on food and there was something I could do about that.
Every individual is different and maybe what happened to me won't be relevant to you, then again maybe it is worth considering?
Try for two days restricting dairy and gluten and see how you feel, you can always add them again.
My diary is open and I entered a typical binge day as a comparison to what I eat now. My binge day is entered on Saturday January 22 2012 if you want to look.
If this isnt the solution keep picking yourself up. Your body wants to heal and be healthy and you can find a way through this.
Sorry guys its a bit Tl/Dr.0 -
Stop!! Dont beat yourself up. Everyday is a new day to improve. If you give in to an unhealthy snack dont sweat it. Just dont let yourself keep giving in. Save some for another day. This is for the rest of your life so yeah, its gonna be long and tough and everyday wont be perfect. I know how you feel. Ive been living that way for the past 5 years and getting pregnant twice didnt help. That attitude made me go from 125 to 200. Im 164 now. Everyday is a choice. Do something, even if its just a five minute walk or crunches and push ups in your living room. Every day! When you feel a craving or boredom eating coming on stop for a second. Make a cup of water, hot tea or cocoa. Drink it all. If youre still craving, drink another cup. Remember, you can have things but in moderation. If you cant moderate, avoid. Your body is better than those cravings. Dont ever give up. Somedays are gonna feel like **** and make you want to cry and stop but dont. The time is gonna pass eventually and the weight will come off too. Set mini goals of 5lbs so you feel more accomplishment. You should be able to do this every 2-3 weeks and seeing these mini goals reached will renew your motivation. Just do not give up on yourself. You can do it and you will. It may take longer than you hoped but the time is passing. Love yourself more than the cravings and excuses. You are worth it. You deserve this!! Best of luck and hugs for hard days!!!0
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Just remember everyday is a fresh start. We all have bad days, yesterday I had a chip butty and a choc bar...today I'm going to do a long bike ride and I've meal planned for the rest of the week so there is nothing but good stuff in the cupboards.
I really love my food so my aim now is a meal out in a few weeks to a fav restaurant, my boyfriend is helping me and will only take me if I've lost a min of 2 pounds before the night. I don't think treats do any harm, you just have to put the exercise in to compensate. So for the next few weeks...no alcohol and more gym work!0 -
Some great advice here.
I have found that thinking of it as trying to get healthy, and that it will take a year to actually lose the weight, is helping. I am not so focussed on weight loss (as to be honest I don't really care that I'm fat) but on trying to change my relationship with food and exercise.
Tonight for example, my husband went to get fish & chips for dinner (an occasional treat). I calculated the calories and actually felt a little sick at the thought of all that oil. I went and made a salad and only had fish! That is how I want to start reacting instinctively, for my health's sake, to start thinking like a fit/healthy person.
I have used food to help my emotions (depression/anxiety, and especially postnatal anxiety) and I have had a couple of days since I started MFP where I have 'binged'. I have found though that bingeing on bbq rice crackers or mini icecreams (instead of family blocks of chocolate) is not quite the disaster I think it is, only 200-400 cals extra.0 -
Here's a really powerful motivation technique that has worked amazingly well for me thus far:
http://www.dextronet.com/blog/2011/04/achieving-goals-like-a-mad-klingon/0 -
You have to realize you are human . Just take one day at a time. Are you doing any workouts? You know you can add calories for working out . Just jump back on board ... no one is telling you to be perfect. They say to diet 6 days and give yourself a break for 1 day so you still can enjoy stuff. It is hard I know but please for yourself jump back on . If you think you are hungry sometimes it is because you are actually thirsty or dehydrated and that is what was happening to me . Try to drink water as much as you can ( I hate water I was an avid pop drinker but gave it up cold turkey because I knew if I didn't it would be my down fall and I would cheat. My calories from that alone was 1000 to 1200 cal. a day)( I use sugar free packets to my bottle of water.) When you have a bad day do what you can and pick yourself up the next day. I found soup to really fill me up almost to the point of too full with the ready to serve can. Chicken noodle for the most part is only 200 cal. for the whole ready to serve can. I have been on it for almost two weeks to and have also lost 6 lbs so you are doing great. Look at what you have lost not what you haven't . Chin up your doing fine .Pick yourself up ... brush yourself off ... cause it is a brand new day!!!!!!!!0
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I have been doing my fitness pal since 2nd January. I was 42lbs over weight and though it it would take months! I decided not to deprive myself as that would lead to bingeing. I eat all of the foods I like but in small amounts and choose the lowest calorie options.
If I want chocolate I have matlesers at 11 calories each. If you look at my food diary I have not lived on salad or 'diet' foods. I have lost 21lb so far so half way there in 8 Weeks! I have logged in every day since I started & people have started to come and ask how I have lost so much weight. I have got lots of my work colleagues and my friends using my fitness pal too.
You can do it, I know you can. you just need some support and motivation. I also go walking using an app called my cardio trainer. So that I can have an extra treat now and again.
Feel free to add me add a friend and if I can help motivate you I will xx0 -
how much is your target deficit?0
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Try not to beat yourself up too bad. I think nearly everyone strays but what's important is for you to ge yourself back on track. Honestly I am trying to do that myself and I'm going "back to basics". Focus on logging your food & exercise one meal at a time. You can do it!! 0
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There is some wonderful advice given above that will, I have no doubt, give you the encouragement you need to continue the journey. I would like to leave you a pearl of wisdom given to me when I was starting off with horses and re educating. "Our glory comes not from placing first in the course, but it lies in the times we have to remount to complete the course" Don't worry if you fall off the wagon cause you get that little bit stronger each time you start again. All the best with your journey0
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Wow.....I just have to say thank you to each one of you that wrote, it meant a lot to me to wake up this morning and see all of these wonderful motivational and supportive messages, I'm a big softie so it's really touching because I feel very alone in this process so it really means a lot to see that so many people deal with tough days like this. Any more advice on staying motivated is always appreciated, thank you so much again to all of you sharing your stories! I wish all of you the best of luck as well 0
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