Anyone managed to beat emotional eating?

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complexideas
complexideas Posts: 8 Member
in Introduce Yourself
If there is anyone out there who has managed to kick emotional eating to touch, I would love to connect with you.

I am a 37 guy with 3 beautiful kids (2 of which are heading into the teens). I am 120 pounds overweight and although I enjoy excersize (more accurately - have enjoyed in the past) I can not seem to leave the bags of sweets and pies alone.

I have used food over the years to make painful or stressful situations feel better, and food does. If I am having a stressed day, shooting down to Hungry jacks and nailing a few whoppers, sets the afternoon up for a totally different tangent. In the same way, a bag of sweets will make the journey home in rush hour traffic so much more bearable.

2 years ago, I lost 55 pounds and it changed my life, I for the first time understood what all the success story people felt like, when they talk about rediscovering a love for life etc.. problem was I didn't lose the weight for me, it was to make someone feel different about me.. when it didn't achieve what I wanted it to, the doughnuts, burgers, alchol and sweets came back and made the pain go away.

I ended up 20 pound heavier than when I started (which was at about 300pounds anyway). The only time I have really had a measure of success is when I used MFP via my iPhone to show me exactly what I am putting in my body.. this lasted 2-3 weeks before I couldn't handle the 3000 calorie spikes a day of binge eating put on the graphs. After a week of staying under that line, to blow it to pieces in one day, then have a similar day after that.. all of a sudden MFP goes from friend to judge..

Reading through these forums, I see a community of people who seem to have kicked some demons to touch, that are wanting to help others do similar. If my story sound similar to something you have had success in, I would love to be your friend and have you walk my success journey out with me.
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Replies

  • vypeters
    vypeters Posts: 475 Member
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    It's tough. Really tough. I had therapy to help and I'm not sure I've beat it as much as I'm managing it.

    Here are some strategies:

    Sit down and make some conscious decisions on what you will use in place of food for comfort, reward, whatever emotional reasons you eat. Try to make them non-food and non-spending (I do have some low-budget reward strategies, but my comfort ones are all free). You have to do this first or the rest will make you feel deprived.

    Identify the kinds of foods you eat for comfort. For me it was cookie/cake or salty/fat treats. Make a rule that you only eat these foods at planned times and in planned situations. If you can't manage them that way, rule them out completely.

    You can eat when you're hungry...but not one of the foods above. If you ask yourself, will some healthy non-trigger food satisfy me and the answer is no, you're probably not really hungry.

    Something that has worked for me well is to plan my day of eating ahead of time. I woke up this morning with today's eating already planned. It's not a draconian plan, it has some treats in it, but those are it for the day. I do have to be pretty hard line with myself because I know I haven't got the emotional eating beat. It's a way of coping that I've had since childhood and I'll be 50 in a couple of weeks. I just have it under control.
  • AR73
    AR73 Posts: 107
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    problem was I didn't lose the weight for me, it was to make someone feel different about me.. when it didn't achieve what I wanted it to, the doughnuts, burgers, alchol and sweets came back and made the pain go away.

    At least you know what the problem WAS.

    Now do it for YOU to feel better and to be healthier.

    I know just how you feel as I have used Alcohol and Food as both rewards and crutches.

    Set your goals down and write your plan, you can do it!
  • BevP123
    BevP123 Posts: 58 Member
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    You are not alone, food is every emotion for me, happy? I eat! sad? I eat! When I've binged and feel bad, I eat! I even treat myself with food when I've been "good". My hubby is supportive but likes the larger ladies so losing weight has to be my choice. If you've already accepted that the changes are for you then half the battle is won. You have a whole army on here to help fight the war!
    I've sent you an invite. Hope I can be of some help.
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
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    I know the items I like to snack on - they are now BANNED FROM THE GROCERY LIST.
    I used to not eat when upset and lose weight, then it turned around and started creeping up on me.

    What helped me, was getting more aware of my eating:
    Strictly logging everything you eat, before you eat it, helps make you aware of your eating.
    Sitting down at a table to eat, NOT in front of the TV, off the kitchen counter, at your desk, in your car, in bed, etc.

    If there is an activity that makes you feel better, find & use it. Running, cleaning, lifting, playing with your dog, etc.
  • katzer17
    katzer17 Posts: 1
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    What great and helpful advise! Thanks for sharing!
  • IveLanded
    IveLanded Posts: 797 Member
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    You hit on some really good points.........I don't think you can beat the emotional eating until you tackle your personal inner demons. For me, finally have success in weight loss didn't come until my WHOLE self was finally getting healthy.......mentally, emotionally, physically.......it all had to come together. I think that taking care of yourself has to be a whole process, not just one thing. If you try to be physically healthy without being emotionally healthy it probably won't work.

    **hug**

    But you can do it.
  • spapsidero
    spapsidero Posts: 60
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    I battle with emotional eating every day. Its something u have to be aware of to stop it. Whenever I'm having a bad day and I think eating will make it better, I'll stop myself and say out loud to myself "it's not gonna work. It never does". It works sometimes sometimes it doesn't. U just have to take every day one at a time. Or u could turn to shopping- retail therapy works really great til ur husband gets the bill. Lol. : )
  • fisherlassie
    fisherlassie Posts: 542 Member
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    I've been doing this since Halloween last year. Except for Christmas and the day after valentines day and yesterday I haven't had any refined sugar. I am one of those people who can't seem to do it in moderation on a daily basis. If I eat sugar or white flour I want to eat more and more and of course because I am an emotional eater every time I eat to soothe or celebrate I would want these things. I haven't beaten it because the other day when I passed my red belt test in aikido on the way home my brain said "wouldn't it be nice to eat a pint of Hagen Daz and watch TV to celebrate." I didn't. I came home and had my usual frozen blueberries mixed with plain full fat olympic yogurt. This snack is always put in my diary early in the day so I can be sure that I get to have it at the end of the day. The other thing I do normally is figure that if I go over I have to get on the elliptical and get back under. I have started to associate eating with activity. But the main thing for me is to avoid the things I am addicted to and find healthy things to eat when I feel I need or want to eat. MFP is also good for giving me that control. If you look at my diary this week will be unusual because I am being erratic with my exercise. Not on purpose but it seems to be working for me anyway.
  • saralhm
    saralhm Posts: 26
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    Hi!
    I went in my city to a psychologist to loose weigh through hypnotherapy, but before getting into it,we had few sessions to help her to know what method she should use in my specific case, just a lot of talking and a lot of money really.Well it turned I started eating less from the first session,just because I actually talked about my problems,feelings,and my unhealthy relationship with food, she didn´t give me any advice, or any rules,I just said things I have never shared with anyone before,and i could be finally free.
    I have to say I used to eat ALL time,and I mean it :) even when I used to wake up midnight to go to the bathroom and on the way back open the fridge and help myself.
    Probably you just need to be honest with yourself and talk about it.Good luck
  • nopswd
    nopswd Posts: 12
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    It's hard but it can be done. I have just tried to not let my food slip-ups derail my attitude and it seems to help.
  • gaia3rd
    gaia3rd Posts: 151
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    when it didn't achieve what I wanted it to, the doughnuts, burgers, alchol and sweets came back and made the pain go away.

    I put it to you that the pain didn't necessarily go away, it just reverted to a form you're more familiar and comfortable with. This is truly difficult stuff. Therapy will help some, for others it can be just a shift in perception, a change in attitude. Maybe for you it will be when you realize you have to love yourself first, to want the best for YOU, and to realize you deserve this. To paraphrase a poster from last week: taking care of yourself is hard, eating right and exercising is hard. But being fat is hard too. Hating how you look when trying on clothes, getting winded climbing a flight of steps, is hard. Having to deal with heart disease or diabetes will be harder still. You just have to decide which hard you're going to choose.
  • FJcntdwn2sknyluv
    FJcntdwn2sknyluv Posts: 651 Member
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    I have I remember 2 things when I head to the fridge

    1. Eating extra food isn't going to SOLVE anything... because

    2. FOOD is only to SOLVE ..ready for it ....HUNGER!!!!

    My boyfriend said that the other day and it blew my mind.. lol... If I HAVE to have something , I drink a glass of Crystal light or eat a serving of fruit.
  • Brittmy
    Brittmy Posts: 141 Member
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    I still eat when I am stressed, but I have realized that for me it is more about the eating itself than the food. Now that I have figured that out, I just make sure that I have huge bags of baby carrots, nuts, veggies, eggs, chicken, whatever on hand so that I can still stress eat, but with healthy foods. Also, I started biking almost every day, which I think has helped to relieve some stress in general. It is hard to get into a routine but you just have to make yourself go, no excuses, until it starts to become enjoyable. Best of luck, and feel free to message me!!
  • unicornassassin
    unicornassassin Posts: 141 Member
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    You hit on some really good points.........I don't think you can beat the emotional eating until you tackle your personal inner demons. For me, finally have success in weight loss didn't come until my WHOLE self was finally getting healthy.......mentally, emotionally, physically.......it all had to come together. I think that taking care of yourself has to be a whole process, not just one thing. If you try to be physically healthy without being emotionally healthy it probably won't work.

    **hug**

    But you can do it.

    I agree 1000%! I have had some success with emotional eating now that I've really been working on my mental and emotional health.
  • divainsneakers
    divainsneakers Posts: 397 Member
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    I've found the work of Geneen Roth helpful: http://geneenroth.com/index1.php

    Much of her work centers around women - plus her approaches are based out of her own experiences. However, her nitty, gritty advice could be helpful for women and men.

    Good luck.
  • katwj76
    katwj76 Posts: 60 Member
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    Hi - I also am over 300 lb from emotional/binge eating. I found support on here and have found low cal versions of foods I can't love or substitutes - sugar-free jello pudding with cool whip in place of ice cream. I've also replaced lunch with a protein bar or shake. And exercising most days DOES release endorphin s that help keep emotions in check. I'd check in with your doctor too. You may have underlying depression, and meds do help. Talk therapy is a big part of my recovery also.
  • jwhit6
    jwhit6 Posts: 14 Member
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    I just really wanted to add my bit and agree with all others. Your story is inspiring and I guarantee a common one. I certainly haven't beaten the emotional eating. Sometimes, I try to just think about the "pangs" Are they hunger, boredom, Stress ? etc etc - Then I drink the biggest glass of water I can cope with and set myself a 30 minute goal. If after 30 minutes I still want that treat - then I will have it - more often than not the urge has subsided and I feel back in control.

    When we all have those big calorie spikes, even for a week, don't beat yourself up about it - we are all allowed to be human

    You can do this, you have done it before, albeit for the wrong reason. You deserve to be a happy success story again too.

    Lots of luck and support
  • hollimahoney
    hollimahoney Posts: 18
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    Lots of great advice!

    Keeping a "clean" kitchen will really help. Making sure trigger food items aren't around to eat will help you to eat a healthy snack instead.

    I think a lot of people get into the mindset of "I can't control this" and allow the food to become an entity in itself. When in reality food is a nutrition supply source. We need food but it doesn't have a mind of it's own so it doesn't control us. We can choose what we put into our bodies and can be healthy. It's doable. And can be done in an enjoyable way.

    Good luck and hope you find the answers you need to get you through this!
  • kristenpreston1
    kristenpreston1 Posts: 2
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    You are not alone, food is every emotion for me, happy? I eat! sad? I eat! When I've binged and feel bad, I eat! I even treat myself with food when I've been "good". My hubby is supportive but likes the larger ladies so losing weight has to be my choice. If you've already accepted that the changes are for you then half the battle is won. You have a whole army on here to help fight the war!
    I've sent you an invite. Hope I can be of some help.

    my husband also likes a "thick" girl, but after I quit smoking (+25lbs) and then getting pregnant 2 months later....so 6 months after baby I am at 220ish (was 190 before baby/smoking) but my body shape is sooooo different (it looks like there is alot more extra then what I gained.

    I breast feed and the extra 5lbs from my starting weight can be the extra in breast tissue/milk. but I feel like I look 250 (for my i look fantastic at the 170/175 range...but last time I saw that was pre kids (6mo and 4.5 yrs)
  • WJZR
    WJZR Posts: 98 Member
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    I do the emotional eating thing, when i come in the house after work and am a bit frustrated. Grrr... Also, i eat when i spend too much time in the kitchen, so for me getting out of the kitchen, or better yet out of the house works. When i am hungy on the way home from work i get the $1 menu yogurt at McD's, and a low fat milk. it satisfies my sweet craving, and does not have too many calories.

    I also keep my wallet pretty "flat", so that i dont have the cash to spend on BigMacs, etc. I stick to a tight budget as far as "drive thrus". I try to only buy cookies that i cant eat (Nut allergy, so i buy peanut butter filled cookies for the little boy in the house). I also have a "FAT" photo of myself onthe fridge. It still looks pretty much like i look, and i am hoping that I will soon look much thinner.

    I do boredom eating after 8 pm, and have to remember to "save some calories" for that time of night. I know my will is very weak then and i cant resist. I often have a Greek yogurt then, with added cinamon for extra flavor and no added calories.

    I did lose 20 pounds a few years ago, in 2006, but gradually over the next 6 years gained it all back. I was 139 in 2006. 165 now. :o(

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