Would you be offended if ....

froeschli
froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
edited November 11 in Motivation and Support
... a friend sent you an invitation to MFP?

My once best friend came to visit me last year, after 6 years of mainly just talking by email or phone (I moved out of the country).
She has always had issues with her weight, but it seems she has almost doubled in size since I last saw her.
I was kind of shocked, and had a hard time not commenting on her food choices (bottle of coke for breakfast etc...).
I mean, who am i to talk, i seem to have a much better metabolism than her. But I worry, and I don't think she's happy with herself.

Should I send her an outright invitation, or just mention "hey, i lost ...lbs doing this, wanna give it a shot?". Or send her a link to the forum and a topic i think pertains to her in some way, and hope she has enough initiative to check out what mfp is about...

Any thoughts?

Replies

  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    wait for her to ask... if she dont ask...dont say anything

    edit for grammar
  • isaac007
    isaac007 Posts: 3
    Tell her about your success with mfp and she'll probably ask for the info
  • kekebell
    kekebell Posts: 5
    I would just mention how much its helping you and if she asks questions (which she probably will) ask if she wants to join too!
  • livinginwoods
    livinginwoods Posts: 562 Member
    I would personally contact her before just sending an invite. Let her know more about it and your success. If you think she is sensitive about her weight tell her YOU need support and ask if she would be willing to do this with you. Truth is though, she has to be ready to do this for herself. Don't be pushy with it just mention it in passing or on facebook etc. A friend told me about this place for months before I finally checked it out and than it took me three more months to actually start using the program. So glad she did. :heart:
  • amyup
    amyup Posts: 9 Member
    Here's what i'd do~I'd tell her that I was have some trouble with my weight and was now tracking my calories on this site. I'd tell her I was shocked how many calories I was taking in without realizing it but that now I had it under control with the help of the site. If she wants more information she'll ask questions, if not, i'd let it go having accomplished the goal of letting her know about the site. When the time comes and she wants to start getting control of her eating and health, she'll remember the conversation and come to you for more information then. I'd never send her a link out of the blue or mention her weight at all unless she asked me for my opinion.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I told my friend about it in person and she download the app on her phone. I would maybe have a talk about her health and see if she's willing to make changes from there.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    wait for her to ask... if she dont ask...dont say anything

    edit for grammar

    ^^ This!
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    i say lead by example. if she wants help she will seek it out--i think it would be presumptuous and hurtful for a friend to bring up another friend's weight.
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
    THanks for the suggestions, that's pretty much how I see it too... :flowerforyou:
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I had quite a few friends join after some of my "... lost XX pounds this week" statuses started popping up on Facebook, but I never sent anyone an invite.
  • HannahPastoor
    HannahPastoor Posts: 303
    Depends on how close you are....My aunt told me about this site and I was happy she thought to share it.
  • AngelsDream4Peace
    AngelsDream4Peace Posts: 116 Member
    Not everyone believes this pattern of thinking, but I wish more people would.

    "A real friend and a true friend is honest" tell me straight up or keep it to yourself. Not needed to be said but I will say it anyways, Just My Opinion.
  • tmassy
    tmassy Posts: 21
    i say lead by example. if she wants help she will seek it out--i think it would be presumptuous and hurtful for a friend to bring up another friend's weight.

    Yup^^^
  • jessradtke
    jessradtke Posts: 418 Member
    I wouldn't send my friend a direct invitation unless s/he expressed interest. Some people would take that the wrong way and feel hurt by it. But I do mention mfp and how much I like it on my facebook page and I encourage anyone who wants to join to friend me once they join.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    I am here because a friend sent me an invitation. Thing is, she is bigger than I was, and I knew I needed to lose weight. So to me, it was yet another weight loss attempt she would try and I could help encourage her with.

    Instead, I stuck around and got to a healthy bmi, and she stopped after about 1.5 months.

    So no, I wouldn't be offended.
  • paisley2288
    paisley2288 Posts: 913 Member
    ... a friend sent you an invitation to MFP?

    My once best friend came to visit me last year, after 6 years of mainly just talking by email or phone (I moved out of the country).
    She has always had issues with her weight, but it seems she has almost doubled in size since I last saw her.
    I was kind of shocked, and had a hard time not commenting on her food choices (bottle of coke for breakfast etc...).
    I mean, who am i to talk, i seem to have a much better metabolism than her. But I worry, and I don't think she's happy with herself.

    Should I send her an outright invitation, or just mention "hey, i lost ...lbs doing this, wanna give it a shot?". Or send her a link to the forum and a topic i think pertains to her in some way, and hope she has enough initiative to check out what mfp is about...

    Any thoughts?

    I have a friend who is constantly inviting me to try her "weight loss miracle products" and yes it gets offensive, especially if you haven't mentioned to that friend that you WANT to lose weight. I just politely tell her no thank you, but it did offend me. Just casually mention this website to her in a conversation one day. I mentioned it to someone yesterday at a baby shower and, come to find out, she is already a member!
  • Hayesgang
    Hayesgang Posts: 624
    i say lead by example. if she wants help she will seek it out--i think it would be presumptuous and hurtful for a friend to bring up another friend's weight.


    You might want to turn that question around~How would you honestly feel if a friend did that to you??

    People need to do this for themselves, it's not up to you to tell her she needs to change her eating habits or even suggest this site. This is the most personal journey any of us embark on. We are all here for our OWN reasons when WE are ready.
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    wait for her to ask... if she dont ask...dont say anything

    edit for grammar

    This sounds like the right thing to do to me, she won't do anything until she is ready for it, why hurt a friendship. What I would do is if she's friends on facebook, have your losses and food diary completion post on your wall and she will see them eventually and if she is interested she will sign up. Definately don't send her forum topics that you think pertain to her. I am a dude and I would get pissed at that.
  • Jessie_Dawn
    Jessie_Dawn Posts: 169
    Depends on how close you are....My aunt told me about this site and I was happy she thought to share it.

    This... same for me, My aunt sent me the invite and i'm happy she did... To me, it means she cares enough to tell me there's an issue (which really, i knew anyway!!)
  • melvac
    melvac Posts: 333 Member
    I would not be offended at all. If you are worried aboot that ask her to come on for you because you need support, that way she is helping you which in a long run she will be helping herself.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    i say lead by example. if she wants help she will seek it out--i think it would be presumptuous and hurtful for a friend to bring up another friend's weight.


    You might want to turn that question around~How would you honestly feel if a friend did that to you??

    People need to do this for themselves, it's not up to you to tell her she needs to change her eating habits or even suggest this site. This is the most personal journey any of us enbark on and we are all here for our OWN reasons when WE are ready.

    yeah, my point exactly.
  • mamamc03
    mamamc03 Posts: 1,067 Member
    I set up an account for my friend & then told her about it!! It all depends on your relationship!!
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
    This sounds like the right thing to do to me, she won't do anything until she is ready for it, why hurt a friendship. What I would do is if she's friends on facebook, have your losses and food diary completion post on your wall and she will see them eventually and if she is interested she will sign up. Definately don't send her forum topics that you think pertain to her. I am a dude and I would get pissed at that.

    LOL I was just thinking about one on migraines earlier - since that's her justification for drinking all that coke... But yeah, I get the point :)
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