Help! I've fallen off the wagon and I'm too fat to climb bac

JTick
JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
edited November 11 in Motivation and Support
I need a kick in the pants!

For 6 weeks, I ate really well. Felt great. Lost weight. Yadda yadda.

Then, I gave in to one treat meal. Though WTH? I'll get back on it at the next meal.

...3 weeks later, I'm still telling myself I'll back back with it tomorrow.

How do people manage eating a "cheat" meal, whatever you want to call it, and get right back with it? I feel like for me, it's either all or nothing. If I eat ANYTHING I shouldn't, it just ends everything else.

I KNOW that a lot of it is psychological. I have spent a lot of time in counseling trying to deal with my emotional eating, but I slip right back into bad habits. Eating something I shouldn't makes me feel bad, which makes me eat, which makes me feel bad. Cue cycle that never ends.

I still log into MFP every day, telling myself that as long as I'm logging in I haven't actually forgotten what I'm trying to do. But, that hasn't made me actually LOG what I'm eating.

I want this, I really do. I want to know what healthy feels like. But it seems like such an endless journey.

I guess I mostly just wanted to get this out. Any tips on dealing with emotional eating?
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Replies

  • I am in the same situation. I went on a business trip this week and didn't worry about dieting. Now I am home and I am not in control. I am really worried I'll keep trying to give myself excuses to start tomorrow. I know I should "just do it", but as you know... easier said than done. I think you are doing the right thing by continuing to log your meals everyday. I am planning my meals for tomorrow tonight so I won't have to think about it tomorrow. I am hoping by just going through the motions I will get back on the wagon. I don't know if that would help you too or not.
    Good luck!
  • You're never too fat to climb back on the wagon! If the people on Biggest Loser can do it, so can you! Get up and start climbing!! One meal at a time! So you took a vacation, so what, now you're back from vacation, and time to get back to work!
  • I fell off the wagon for almost a month...it was badddd. BUT! I found this helps: Plan what you're going to eat the next day....I get excited for it and then I don't bother trying to eat anything else. Exercise!...it decreases cravings and once you finish, you don't want to ruin your hard work with bad food. Set goals, buy new workout clothes or a new program, or start a food journal where you write down food and feelings...which I guess is mfp. They all keep you motivated! Good luck! :smile:
  • sloanie1
    sloanie1 Posts: 276 Member
    You literally just have to take 1 hour at a time! I am addicted to food so I struggle too, it doesn't take much to fall back into old patterns, unfortunately it's a full time job and I guess always will be, I have heard maintanence is even harder!!! you aren't alone, it is really hard, BUT its how we get back on the horse that counts, hang in there and NEVER give up no matter what!
  • I feel you.. I fell off for the past few months. I think if you log what your eating (even if its horrible) sometimes just seeing the amount of calories in things can help bring perspective. Its about the small things. Aim to end your day with a healthy meal and it may just make breakfast the next day that much easier. :) hope this helps.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Try planning your cheat meal AND the meal that follows it. Say you know you're going to a birthday party on Saturday night and you're going to give yourself free reign to anything on the table, make sure you've planned further ahead to Sunday morning's healthy breakfast. It's easier if you know exactly what meal you're going to eat to get back ON the wagon.
  • amykingsley1
    amykingsley1 Posts: 31 Member
    I can relate, once I eat even one bit of junk food I'm done in for the day. For me just ruling things out helps... some people it's carbs, some peple it's fats or sodium... I went vegetarian last December or so and it really helps keep me on track. I just try to forgive myself my "bad" days and just plan a good next day. You can do it!
  • IvoryParchment
    IvoryParchment Posts: 651 Member
    You're not "on" or "off" anything. This is just the way you eat now.

    I would work on getting over the mental block about logging first, so it's not so overwhelming. Set a future date to start actually losing weight. Start logging now, with no attempt to reduce your intake. Just complete honesty about where you are starting from.

    Also, get a smart phone. Log everything before you eat it. This is totally worth the expense, believe me, and a much better investment than the junk food you're buying now. I have done it both ways, and trying to remember what I ate and log it all later (when it's too late to do anything about it) was a complete failure.
  • karagav
    karagav Posts: 172 Member
    i know exactly how you're feeling, i've fallen off the wagon too!! it's just hard to get back on but just take it gradually...that's been helping me.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    I read somewhere that having one bad meal and subsequently writing off a whole day is a big issue (I have to admit to doing it myself a lot in the past) then one day turns into a couple of days, a week, a month, a lifestyle! Applying the same logic to a different scenario, if you were in an accident and broke your leg, would you say "Oh well, I cvan't walk properly now... might as well break the other one too!" Of course not, and the same logic applies to food.


    I also agree with the idea of loging BEFORE you eat. That'll help you make choices based on information and thought, not on instinct and hunger. I do this all the time. I use the iPhone app every day and love it.
  • jnhu72
    jnhu72 Posts: 558 Member
    I can not have a cheat meal, let alone a cheat day. I have to log everything I eat and eat as healthy as I can everyday or I fall off as well. I had a cheat meal in May 2011 and I am being 100% when I say this I just finally got back into being serious about my weight loss 4 days ago. Everyday I would say that I would do better tomorrow but I never did.
  • wildkatt7
    wildkatt7 Posts: 163 Member
    I don't give into the idea of cheating or not cheating... I eat what I want, balancing it into my diet... I am accountable to it. I eat chocolate nearly every day - most of my diet are whole foods that I make from scratch, but I don't get upset when I have some chocolate or something else others say is bad for me... 81 pounds down in a year. But the most important thing is to do it for only you... as you are the only one that matters... you can succeed just re-evaluate and decide your plan of attack - the plan that is right for YOUR body and YOUR life....
  • MommyTKD
    MommyTKD Posts: 61 Member
    Log it or leave it. I find that just having to be accountable maeks me less likely to "fall off". And if you stick with "if you bite it you write it", that wagon will be much easier to get back on.
  • HeidiRene
    HeidiRene Posts: 335 Member
    I am an emotional eater so friend me if you want for support. My big trigger for emotional eating (and the reason I put this weight on - 50 lbs in 6 months) is night time. I am an insomniac and I desperately want to binge all night long. Insomnia is miserable and food makes it sooooo much better. Being fat is miserable too though. :-) What I did was just plan on eating a sig amount of calories at night (I log under snack but I should change that to say midnight snack). Yes, I have to eat a lot less during the day but limiting day calories is so much easier for me than limiting night calories. Hope that helps!
  • gbelltx
    gbelltx Posts: 142
    Living Healthy is a marathon not a sprint. It’s not about how fast you get out of the blocks but how consistent you are over the long haul. Dont beat yourself up for having an off day.
  • gbelltx
    gbelltx Posts: 142
    Missing 1 day of exercise ok, Missing 1 week of exercise borderline, Missing 1 month of exercise, you better bring a note. Stay motivated!
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    For me, it has been a cycle of giving up once I "fail" on a day, believing that I just "can't" do it because I had that slice of cake (donut, bagel, cookie......) and then totally falling off the wagon. I'm working on forgiving myself and giving myself the pep talk I'd give a friend (in my head, of course. Talking to myself out loud would just be weird...) . It helps that I have friends here on MFP who will encourage me by telling me the good choices I made or just saying "Hope you enjoyed it. Get back on it tomorrow!"

    Are you perhaps feeling guilty and punishing yourself by giving up on you? (Sorry. I'm NOT a healthcare professional. I don't even play one on t.v. :bigsmile: I'm just projecting based on what I've done, and hoping that IF you are doing the same, you can learn from my mistakes .) If you are, then FORGIVE you, and move on.
    :flowerforyou:
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,446 Member
    Try planning your cheat meal AND the meal that follows it. Say you know you're going to a birthday party on Saturday night and you're going to give yourself free reign to anything on the table, make sure you've planned further ahead to Sunday morning's healthy breakfast. It's easier if you know exactly what meal you're going to eat to get back ON the wagon.

    I agree! Try to keep your cheat meal i your calorie goal for the day (or even the week). Plan the meal after it, and the next day, so that by the time you average in the day prior and after, you re actually in range for your calories.

    Also, try to add a little extra activity on cheat meal day. Let's say you are planning to have a cheat dinner on Saturday. On Saturday morning try to take a quick walk around the block, or to the park or whatever. Not too long, just 20 minutes.

    Then you get to have your cheat meal! Log it. You'll burn off a few of those calories from the cheat meal ahead of time -- with a plan (or leftover calories) to help cover it. . And who knows, maybe your exercise, healthy breakfast and healthy lunch will inspire you to cheat a little less during your cheat meal.

    Personally, I give myself a little budget for my cheat meal. It only gets to be around 400 calories more than a regular meal (so I am targeting 800-1000 calories for my cheat). This encourages me to cheat a little, but plan for it the rest of the day. I find I don't need a lot to satisfy the "indulgence" I just need to have it.
  • bcc112986
    bcc112986 Posts: 362 Member
    The one thing I have learned about myself and my health journey is that I could not be serious about weight loss and getting healthier until I was serious about myself. What I mean is that I found out what it means to really love me and care about me. And just like relationships, the love you have for yourself will grow and mature over time. I have come from losing a parent to being an alcholic to feeling lost and alone to truly loving myself and now I am ready to commit to myself by becoming the best for me.

    It will be almost impossible to stop the emotional eating until you love yourself for who you are and want the best for yourself.

    I wish you the best and I will say a prayer for you.

    Brittany :)

    www.goherbalife.com/brittanychambers
  • I understand what you are saying. Last night I had a greasy salty fatty chicken sandwich with waffle fries and tarter sauce. This morning I had just eaten breakfast and I found myself rummaging for snack foods (something nice and salty) to munch on. Two months ago I totally would've given in without even thinking about it, but today I slapped myself on the wrist and went back to my homework without munchies. I think the major difference for me is that I now have friends on this site and it's more than just private tracking. Even tho they probably wouldn't notice if I fell off, it helps me be more accountable knowing that my activity here is viewable by more than just myself.
  • I also fell off the wagon at about 6 weeks. I don't know if I was PMSing or just falling off the wagon or what but it lasted 2 weeks. I did still log in everyday. I would encourage you to do the same. You are the only person you have to report to and that's it but don't lie to yourself.

    I think that even though I went over my calories every single day I still knew where I was at.

    I'm back on track again and feeling pretty good again.

    I dont know why we beat ourselves up so bad when we fall of the wagon but we do. All we can do is climb back on whether we jump back on or slowly climb back on.

    Don't give up! You have lost an amazing amount of weight already.

    You can do it!!! Go back and pull up your stats and look at the nice decrease you've seen and hopefully that will also give you encouragement.
  • I know how you feel, I " fell off" for a couple of months. Now I am back and couldn't be happier with myself. It is hard, but try to remember why you started this journey and what you have accomplished so far. Everyone has a "bad" day, it happens. What is important though is what you do from there: quit or keep going? I say keep going climb back onto the wagon and if you need help I will pull you back on. :smile: (add me if you want) Good Luck!
  • My main tip is to log what you're eating. No judgement. Just write it down. You might be surprised that it's not *as* bad as it used to be. And find ways to start to whittle it back to what you deem "good"...
  • NicoWoodruff
    NicoWoodruff Posts: 369 Member
    I don't. Manage a cheat meal that is. I manage cheat moments, cheat bites.. but not whole cheat meals.. LOL.
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    The title of this post is so great. Tomorrow starts a new week...What better time to OWN it!?
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I fell off the wagon twice last year. Lost 23 lbs. Gained 11 back. Now I'm down a total of 37 lbs (28 from MFP).

    You are not too fat to get back up.

    Everyone screws up so stand up, dust yourself off, and hit the road running. The only time you ever fail at this is when you don't get back up. Remember that. You will screw up again, but don't you dare give up.
  • I think for some people, they just can't do a cheat meal. Personally for me, having a cheat day/meal gives me motivation to not over eat during the week. I make a plan that I will make a delicious dinner on Sunday and have a nice dessert without worrying about calorie counting. When I think about having an extra bit of this or that or going into the cupboard for some chocolate, I just remind myself that I am going to get a treat on Sunday. I don't need the treat right then, I can wait. If I eat the extra right then, then I don't get my delicious dinner on Sunday.

    That seems to work for me, talking myself through things. Sometimes just kind of talking about the food and what it really means. Like sometimes I will really REALLY want to just binge on cookies, but then I think about how it will only really satisfy a temporary craving, it's not going to actually make me happy or make me feel better. I try and remind myself of the negatives of what a binge would do. It's a struggle, but after awhile the more positive thoughts seem to push through. Just try and talk yourself through things and don't be hard on yourself. Don't tell yourself that you are a failure or anything like that and don't feel guilty for eating things you want.

    I know what you mean by saying that it feels like it's going to be an endless journey. Sometimes it just feels so daughting.
    Just take things one day at a time. Maybe say "tomorrow I will substitute one snack with an apple", and just leave it at that. Or "tomorrow I will substitute a cookie for a yogurt". I think if you start small and try to give yourself small challenges you will have better luck at trying to get back on track.
  • steelersfamily6
    steelersfamily6 Posts: 138 Member
    So I fell off to for about 2 weeks. I was doing so good and then my best friend came to visit and I just wanted to go out and have fun and eat everything I could. Plus we had just got our taxes and I already knew that was going to be hard having money to spend on food.

    I am trying to not allow myself a huge cheat day now only because after that 2 weeks, I went right back up over 200 and I never wanted to see that number again. I have lost almost 20 lbs and I am not going back down. I weigh myself everyday and I know that its going to differ everyday but when I see I have gained a lb or 2 I flip out. Some people can not allow cheat days until they have reached a certain point in the weight loss part of this journey. We have to train ourselves how to eat healthy after spending how ever long we have spent eating unhealthy and its going to take time.

    Another thing that keeps me from cheating is the way I feel afterwards. I don't want to feel over full, bloated or feel that I can not fit into my pants after working so hard to fit in them again (and those are what I call my fat pants..lol) I still have so far to go but I already feel so good and I don't ever want to feel the miserable feeling I was feeling before!
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    If you're too fat to climb back on... then walk along side for a while!

    Don't beat yourself up you're not finding it easy to lose weight - that's just the way it is.

    Keep logging in, keep logging your food, keep moving (even a little bit of a walk along side the wagon!) and celebrate every little victory.

    You might also find it easier to set some short term, more achievable, goals that aren't all about the scales:
    - eat a healthy breakfast every day
    or
    - drink x amount of water
    or
    - walk for 20 mins a day
    or
    - swap one milky, sugary coffee for a long black or a glass of water with a squeeze of lemon.

    These small changes add up into big results if you keep doing them... and better still, they make you feel good because it is something active and positive that you can do and it takes the focus off the number on the scales.
  • rejs1170
    rejs1170 Posts: 23 Member
    I am the same, if I eat one chocolate/drink one beer I feel I have blown it, so I let go and go on a bing. Someone put a really good quote on this site a few weeks back saying something like "so if you drop you mobil phone does that mean you should immediately get a hammer and smash it completely.... or do you pick it up and clean it and put it back in your bag?" Keep trying and you eventually get back on track. I hope you reach your goals.
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