I think I shall eat my front lawn...

HeidiRene
HeidiRene Posts: 335 Member
edited November 11 in Chit-Chat
...after spending hours reading countless threads that linked me to countless studies that prove that I will die if I don't eat soy, do eat soy, don't drink 8 classes of water a day, do drink 8 glasses of water a day, don't drink coconut oil, do drink coconut oil, don't eat carbs, do eat carbs, don't calorie restrict below 1200, do calorie restrict below 1200, do drink cow's milk, don't drink cow's milk, don't eat fruit, do eat fruit, do cleanse the toxins out of my body, don't cleanse the toxins out of my body and, last but not least, I will die especially if I am fat!!!- I have decided to only drink my spit and faceplant myself in the middle of my front lawn and gnaw like the crazy, ill-informed banchee I have become!

Replies

  • Ashmeistar
    Ashmeistar Posts: 27
    LOL!! I love this. So much contradicting advice out there.
  • slim422
    slim422 Posts: 104 Member
    LOL.....I love your post. I have a bout of insomnia tonight and got up, thought I would have a look at MFP. Your post was awesome, made me laugh and reminded me not to take things too seriously.

    Just what I will need to get through hump day with no sleep......

    Thanks
  • creative1981
    creative1981 Posts: 182 Member
    This made me chuckle. All the contradicting advice drives me nuts!
  • redvelvet_cake
    redvelvet_cake Posts: 8
    LOL! This is exactly the sort of thing that has put me off in the past. So I'm just concentrating on eating a balanced diet and watching the calories. Everything else is wayyy too complicated...
  • WingMan380
    WingMan380 Posts: 2,139 Member
    LOL Love it!!
  • nickyfm
    nickyfm Posts: 1,214 Member
    Hahahah it's just because so many people rack their brains trying to come up with a blanket statement that will apply to everyone. Truth is, no one diet can be effective for every single human being!

    Love someone who adores soy, drinks tons of water and eats lotsa protein ;)
  • tippietoes
    tippietoes Posts: 46
    LOL! This is exactly the sort of thing that has put me off in the past. So I'm just concentrating on eating a balanced diet and watching the calories. Everything else is wayyy too complicated...

    Same! High carb, low carb, high protein, low fat.. whatever.

    I'm just sticking with calories in < calories out = weight loss.. it's working so far!
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    so true, so sad, so brilliant.

    great post
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
    well, I hope your lawn is all organic because you can't eat it unless it's hormone and pesticide free. :devil: Maybe it's because of my health issues and the serious discomfort I have from some foods, I'm a huge fan of eating what makes your body feel best. My husband is flirting with going vegan. I'm at my best with a Paleo life style. Don't sell your lawnmower yet. :laugh:
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    LOVE THIS!
    and the OP as well!!

    only, i'd say, get rid of the lawnmower and acquire some chickens and goats. maybe a cow too. let them eat the grass. you eat what they have to offer and with the rest of your yard plant your own garden! and there ya go. great diet and you know what's going in so no worries about what you're eating!!!
    well, I hope your lawn is all organic because you can't eat it unless it's hormone and pesticide free. :devil: Maybe it's because of my health issues and the serious discomfort I have from some foods, I'm a huge fan of eating what makes your body feel best. My husband is flirting with going vegan. I'm at my best with a Paleo life style. Don't sell your lawnmower yet. :laugh:
  • HeidiRene
    HeidiRene Posts: 335 Member
    So glad it isn't just me. I mean really, I am smart/educated and my head is spinning! How is anyone supposed to know the truth?
  • HeidiRene
    HeidiRene Posts: 335 Member
    Dumbest piece of advice I read last night: maple syrup digests in your mouth since it's natural so it isn't cheating to eat it. WTF?
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    Bad news - you're going to die if you eat your lawn, too. Although, last year, I had a flower garden with some very pretty and yummy options for salad. It was the coolest thing - handing someone a flower, and they're like, "Thanks," and I'd say, "No, eat it. It's yummy!"
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
    Nailed it.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRuPEPd69l2GJKqRKbvUpFLqhspzf8Nt1bevT9KgEGNAZKDZeAwYqiFL3NyNQ
  • JustLindaLou
    JustLindaLou Posts: 376 Member
    awesome and so true... or maybe not.... let me google it and find out for sure because I can trust everything I read on the 'net....

    I figure unless the packaging has the number for Poison Control on the label, it won't kill me in moderation.

    besides, here in AZ we have gravel for front yards and I am just not hungry for a plate of rocks....
  • JustLindaLou
    JustLindaLou Posts: 376 Member
    Dumbest piece of advice I read last night: maple syrup digests in your mouth since it's natural so it isn't cheating to eat it. WTF?

    :noway:
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    lol!!! you nailed it!!! take everything with a grain of salt! all things in moderation.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    I guess the last thing to figure out is if you want to eat your exercise calories back you burned gnawing.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    yes this is very healthy and will help you shed the pounds and get toned. but only if your lawn is organic. :bigsmile:
  • dawlschic007
    dawlschic007 Posts: 636 Member
    lol!!! you nailed it!!! take everything with a grain of salt! all things in moderation.

    Salt is bad for you though. :laugh:
  • Jbaker0524
    Jbaker0524 Posts: 8
    good point! I think i'll do the same thing, i wonder if burnt grass is not only crispy but full of flavor??
  • HeidiRene
    HeidiRene Posts: 335 Member
    I guess the last thing to figure out is if you want to eat your exercise calories back you burned gnawing.

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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