Last Birth Control Pill............

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Hemis_mom
Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I took my last BC pill on Saturday--I'm still not sure I am ready so are there any moms out there who can tell me if it is normal to have doubts about getting pregnant. I am 30 years old but I still don't feel ready I worry my husband and I don't have enough money, our house is old and not really set up great for kids (something we should have thought of before we bought it but too late now). I worry I am too selfish to have a child, I worry I won't be a good mother (sometimes other people's kids drive me nuts), I am a teacher and worry I won't have time to do my job well and be a good mother......the thoughts race on. Should I be more positive about getting pregnant before I actually do or are all of these thoughts normal. I want to do the right thing I don't want to bring a child into this world I can't take care of but I feel like I am not normal having all of these worries. I have always wanted children I guess When I was younger (and not married) I never really considered the logistics I just pictured the beautiful newborn in my arms now that I am an adult I can't stop the 'worries'.
My husband's ready (of course he is all he has to do is the fun part) I have been preparing but am still scared to death!
Anyone want to weigh in!!
If I decide I am not ready how long do I have to wait EVERYONE keeps reminding me my biological clock is running out but I wonder how true that is
Thanks
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Replies

  • thefroggie79
    thefroggie79 Posts: 2 Member
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    I think your feelings are normal....I just had my second child 2 mths ago. it is scary to have a child just b/c you've never experienced it before....but let me tell you once you have them, you cannot imagine life without them! I too was like you and other people's kids drove me nuts (and sometimes still do) and don't get me wrong even your own may drive you nuts! I too am a teacher and you find the time to balance out babytime and work time! Teacher's are multitaskers:smile: I don't think your biological clock is running out....you still have plently of time!

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  • laestrelluna
    laestrelluna Posts: 1
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    I am where you are.:laugh: I am 33 going on 34 and have the same thoughts. I teacher too but I figure that I will have to cut out some of the extra work once I have a kid. I took my last pill in March and plan on starting to concieve this month. people always say you will never be ready. I guess that I'm as ready as I'm going to get. I'm sure that things will work out fine for you.
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    Isn't it funny teachers have to plan to get pregnant in the summer........I told my husband we have a window if I am not pregnant by October then we have to wait until next summer! I am trying for a May/June baby so I can take the rest of the school year off and the summer of course....I hope very much to miss cat dissections!
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    I am where you are.:laugh: I am 33 going on 34 and have the same thoughts. I teacher too but I figure that I will have to cut out some of the extra work once I have a kid. I took my last pill in March and plan on starting to concieve this month. people always say you will never be ready. I guess that I'm as ready as I'm going to get. I'm sure that things will work out fine for you.

    Good Luck!
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    I think your feelings are normal....I just had my second child 2 mths ago. it is scary to have a child just b/c you've never experienced it before....but let me tell you once you have them, you cannot imagine life without them! I too was like you and other people's kids drove me nuts (and sometimes still do) and don't get me wrong even your own may drive you nuts! I too am a teacher and you find the time to balance out babytime and work time! Teacher's are multitaskers:smile: I don't think your biological clock is running out....you still have plently of time!

    240234.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Easy Calorie Counting

    Thank you!
  • adopt4
    adopt4 Posts: 970 Member
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    If you don't feel you're ready, don't do it.

    If you worry about the financials, well then sit down and work out the budget, find out how much daycare (if you are going to stay a teacher), diapers, stroller, baby food, formula, doctor appts, etc are going to cost you. If you cannot make ends meet, don't have kids! And do something about it so that you can if you want to. You may very well find out that you can afford it, you just may have to give up some luxuries.

    Unless the house is actually dangerous, as in radon gas or mold or something, then fix whatever needs fixing or sell it and get a house that doesn't have those problems.

    It's not so much about your biological clock as it is after a certain point, the risk of Downs Syndrome is much higher, I think that age is 38 now. So you've got time.

    We waited to start adopting until we were both 38, we now have 3 boys, 6,6 & 3 and are hoping to get a little girl in the next year or so. We are much better parents because we waited, we are much more patient, financially stable, we planned it so that I could stay home with the kids, and I've been a SAHM for the past six years.
  • euphoria11
    euphoria11 Posts: 49
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    All of the thoughts are COMPLTELY normal!!
    My boyfriend and I had an "unplanned" pregnancy... and we are 22.
    Young... to me at least.
    I thought all of the same things you thought... I am young, in college, we didn't even had our own place. But I think thats part of why we get 9 months before we have the baby... because if we were like dogs, I mean imagine how much crazier everything would be! If people were having babies every 2 months or so. I think this is natures way of giving us time to adjust and prepare for the next chapter in life.
    If you do happen to get pregnant, relax. Make the best of your pregnancy, because it truly is an amazing journey. Your body does amazing things to form this new life.
    And within those 9 months, prepare.
    Prepare yourselves... I used to cry myself to sleep full of worries, but once he was born, it was instant. I knew that I would do EVERYTHING in my power to better my son's life and to take care of him. I want him to be more than we are, and more than we ever could be.
    Before I was pregnant, I didn't feel that way. I didn't think I was the mothering type at all... never interacted with babies... no babies in my family, I am an only child, plus my patience was non-existant.
    But, a baby will do amazing things for you. Especially once it is YOUR baby, not someone else's little snot-nosed booger throwing trash all over a restaurants floor. Lol. :laugh:
    When it is your own child, your own flesh and blood, I can't even explain it. You just have to experience it. There are no words to justify the feelings... good and bad. Being a new mother is overwhelming at times... but I would NEVER change it.
    You will think about the future much more, you will realize the IMPORTANT things in life... the TRUE priorities... you may think it is a house, or a job, but I promise you, all of these thoughts and worries will work themselves out.

    I do not know your beliefs... but I am a FIRM, FIRM believer in everything happens for a reason.

    And no matter what you may think, no matter how good/bad times are, no matter your doubts, you are EXACTLY where you are meant to be in this stage of your life.

    And when you have your baby, whether planned or not, happy or not, it is where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be experiencing in that moment of your life. Life is a crazy ride... stop worrying so much, and just live! :happy:

    Sit back and relax, because everything will be ok. I promise. :wink:

    PS... don't worry about that damn biological clock! :P
    You aren't even old!!
  • euphoria11
    euphoria11 Posts: 49
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    PS!
    Can you tell I am a new mom??
    lol!
  • hdiltz
    hdiltz Posts: 1
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    I don't think anyone is ever financially ready for a child. You will make it work though! I wish you the best of luck conceiving! Keep us updated!
  • Momma2four
    Momma2four Posts: 1,534
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    Okay, do you want kids? If you do then have them. I can tell you I was not so sure when I got pregnant at 22, but let me tell you it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was confused about how I would feel, how we would take care of her, where we would put her. All those things worked themselves out. The moment I saw her it was so weired because it was like I knew her yet it was the first time I ever saw her. I knew that I could hardly live without her. Then #2,#3,#4 all came and it was the same with each of them. I would wonder will I have enough love for this one because I love the one i already have so much. But then they would come and there was plenty of love for each one. The fact that you are wondering about these things tells me you will be a good parent. You are already thinking about their needs and they do not even exist yet. I know that being called mom has been the best thing ever. Children are such a precious gift. Good luck!!!!!
  • kallio
    kallio Posts: 70
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    My son-who is now 6- was an unexpected present. I was sooo not ready at that time. College student, interning for free, not in a good stable relationship,living at parents...you name it, it was an issue. But, through it all I just kept thinking about how wonderful it was to be pregnant and to soon be a mommy.

    I made it through all of these obstacles and many more. The one thing I believe for sure- you will never feel 100% ready. You have to do your best and always put that little baby's needs before your own (except mothers day-that is all yours! ha ha)


    Good luck. You will be fine and everything will work out. Make sure you post when you find that little plkus sign!!

    :bigsmile:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    listen to your own heart. whatever you decide for you, is right for you. some people have one opinion, others have another. their opinions have no bearing on the decision you should make for your life. if you feel like you're just kinda scared but more hopeful, then your heart is telling you which way it leans more. if you are totally hoping to not get pregnant, and the thought horrifies, then that tells you where your heart is too. either way, the decision you make is 100% up to you. more so than even your sweetie, it is completely up to you. I could take this moment to relate to you my own thoughts and decisions from my life, but that's not really very relevant, because that's my decision for me. what works for me doesn't mean it will be right for you. take some time, reflect on how YOU feel, make your decision based on how you feel in your own heart. then you will never feel like you did the wrong thing for you.

    much love and respect:heart::heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • rkwestfall
    rkwestfall Posts: 37 Member
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    I do not have children of my own yet, but I have been told by many people that you will NEVER have enough money, time, or patience......but u will make it work once it happens!

    The older we get the more reality sets in and we understand the responsibility of a child and that is what make us hesitate on the decision.

    I am gonna be finishing RN school in December & as far as the biological clock...we have been taught that the risks increase after age 35....so you have time :wink:

    Hope all goes well....whatever you decide.
  • MaryinBflo
    MaryinBflo Posts: 437 Member
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    I think all your thoughts and worries are completely normal BUT also if you feel you are not ready then just wait another 6 months and then consider it again.

    I have 2 kids and your life will change drastically. Sometimes it's for the better but sometimes it is just HARD! I say wait until you are ready. I don't know if anyone is ever financially ready so if that was the only reason you were waiting I'd say go for it.

    Good luck!
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    Thank you all so much for your thoughts-- I will keep you posted
    Kendra
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    All of the thoughts are COMPLTELY normal!!
    My boyfriend and I had an "unplanned" pregnancy... and we are 22.
    Young... to me at least.
    I thought all of the same things you thought... I am young, in college, we didn't even had our own place. But I think thats part of why we get 9 months before we have the baby... because if we were like dogs, I mean imagine how much crazier everything would be! If people were having babies every 2 months or so. I think this is natures way of giving us time to adjust and prepare for the next chapter in life.
    If you do happen to get pregnant, relax. Make the best of your pregnancy, because it truly is an amazing journey. Your body does amazing things to form this new life.
    And within those 9 months, prepare.
    Prepare yourselves... I used to cry myself to sleep full of worries, but once he was born, it was instant. I knew that I would do EVERYTHING in my power to better my son's life and to take care of him. I want him to be more than we are, and more than we ever could be.
    Before I was pregnant, I didn't feel that way. I didn't think I was the mothering type at all... never interacted with babies... no babies in my family, I am an only child, plus my patience was non-existant.
    But, a baby will do amazing things for you. Especially once it is YOUR baby, not someone else's little snot-nosed booger throwing trash all over a restaurants floor. Lol. :laugh:
    When it is your own child, your own flesh and blood, I can't even explain it. You just have to experience it. There are no words to justify the feelings... good and bad. Being a new mother is overwhelming at times... but I would NEVER change it.
    You will think about the future much more, you will realize the IMPORTANT things in life... the TRUE priorities... you may think it is a house, or a job, but I promise you, all of these thoughts and worries will work themselves out.

    I do not know your beliefs... but I am a FIRM, FIRM believer in everything happens for a reason.

    And no matter what you may think, no matter how good/bad times are, no matter your doubts, you are EXACTLY where you are meant to be in this stage of your life.

    And when you have your baby, whether planned or not, happy or not, it is where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be experiencing in that moment of your life. Life is a crazy ride... stop worrying so much, and just live! :happy:

    Sit back and relax, because everything will be ok. I promise. :wink:

    PS... don't worry about that damn biological clock! :P
    You aren't even old!!

    This really helped--Thank you so much
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    It all comes down to one thing...do you want to add a child to your life? You already know there are going to be good times and bad times, some days will be super fun, and other days will be more trying than you can imagine. It's perfectly normal to be annoyed by other people's kids, and you will be annoyed by your own at times too, but at least when he/she is yours, you can do something about their bad behaviour. :)

    Just because you're 30 doesn't mean you're ready, and just because you're scared doesn't mean you're not, but if you are having a lot of doubts, there's no need to rush.
  • sbartlett0421
    sbartlett0421 Posts: 68
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    Wow! reading the original post, I thought I wrote it!!

    I haven't stopped taking my pills yet, but we are really starting to talk seriously about it.
    Thanks for all the advise - I'm taking it to heart too!
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    It is always nice to know you are not the only one!!! Still very nervous!!!

    I just stopped taking my pill is it okay to try right away????? I was thinking about that today--I want this baby to be healthy I am taking vitamins, folic acid, and trying to exercise most days---I still need to work on cutting out soda and coffee

    Also does anyone have any advice on taking anti-anxiety meds and pregnancy I take 25mg of Zoloft per day to curb the anxiety of my profession I read a lot about it and it seems to be okay to stay on it until the third trimester BUT I would like to get off of them ASAP but am afraid the anxiety wouldn't be good for the baby either (I read about that too)

    Also how much and how often can you exercise 30 day shred??? Running???? I am wondering......How many more calories do you really need

    Thanks
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    I had to laugh shortly after I wrote this someone gave me a crib!!! It just made me realize people are out there that will help when the time comes

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