Stupid Will Power

Hi there,

I am no expert, but I felt I was exactly the same at the beginning of my weight loss journey. I moved in with my partner & all of a sudden there was so much extra food i.e. biscuits, chocolates and we made a lot of heavy carbohydrate meals like pasta, rice, home made pizza's & taco's (as we were pretty hopeless at cooking!). I was feeding myself the same about of food as him & all those things I mentioned above, I could not resist!

Since I started MFP on January 5th, I have lost 9.2 kilograms and found I now have what I call 'Super Willpower!' --- I believe the way I overcame this was that I still allowed myself to have these things in moderation and in really small portions and I added some of my super supportive best friends onto MFP who were also going on a weight loss journey. We all opened our diaries up so we could see each other and what we were eating and that was enough to motivate me to ensure that I stayed under my calories and ate better foods as they knew my goal and were watching my every move (it all made us a bit competitive too in a healthy way and all look forward to weigh in's --- well most of the time haha!)

I usually crave chocolate daily! But instead of buying a whole block of chocolate I now buy 'treat-sized' individually wrapped chocolates. At first I had to get my partner to give me one & ONLY one & then he hid them from me (I literally looked in my whole room, kitchen & pantry one day & began to panic --- I HAD to find them! I even rang him & he would not tell me --- so I was pretty bad!). However now I have the whole packet of them in my pantry & I only ever have one & I can do that now -- I can't believe it! I never would have been able to control myself 10 weeks ago! I never eat birthday cakes or cupcakes or extras (I am a school teacher & the students have birthdays all the time I swear && staff!!!) and stick to my regime. I think because I also have been seeing results, I know it's worth it.

I also looked up each individual item and their calories and found out how much exercise I'd have to do to burn each item off. Now that put me off! However, I do really enjoy exercise, I go to the gym 5 days a week for a minimum of 45 minutes and do a combo of cardio and weights! I love sport too.

You can do it! If I can, you can. You just need the full support of your family and at the beginning I wouldn't buy any extra temptations i.e. a whole packet of biscuits, or get them hidden away if possible or individually wrapped && put them straight away out of sight after you've taken one out.

Good luck

I have no will power and can never seem to find it. I have battled weight all my life and it's always the same issue. I am off again on again dieter and really need some suggestions on how to always be the on again. Exercise is not my weakness, even though I do tend to do good for awhile then fall off that as well, but food is my enemy. I will be having a great eating day and in a blink of an eye screw it up.. Take yesterday I did very well all day then while watching the hockey game my son likes to have a few cookies so I went and got out the cookies and before I knew it I had eaten to many. I can't just eat one, but if I don't eat any I drive my self nuts wanting junk food. Chips, cookies, and chocolate are my nightmare. How do you get out of this circle of failure and become a winner?

First of all, you aren't weak willed. A weak-willed person would of quit by now and simply shrugged their shoulders and said "it's my destiny to be this way".
Secondly, you are battling millions of years of evolutionary inclination.
Thirdly, you are battling American culture. "Why yes, I will supersize it!" "Wow, what a great food commercial!"
Fourth, you are battling psychology.

Likely, what is happening is called "extinction burst". Wikipedia defines it thusly:

"While extinction, when implemented consistently over time, results in the eventual decrease of the undesired behavior, in the short-term the subject might exhibit what is called an extinction burst. An extinction burst will often occur when the extinction procedure has just begun. This consists of a sudden and temporary increase in the response's frequency, followed by the eventual decline and extinction of the behavior targeted for elimination." --http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extinction_(psychology)#Extinction_burst

Basically, your brain decides it wants to keep doing the bad habit you want to drop and rationalizes it away. It is very difficult to get over this hump.

SO how do you overcome all this? Be compassionate with yourself. You aren't failing, you are finding different ways of succeeding. Try to set short term goals along with long term ones. If your goal is "I want to lose ten pounds" then a good short term goal is "I will eat in moderation every day for seven days." If you fail in this goal, be OK with it. Analyze why you failed. Did you put yourself in a situation that it would be difficult to succeed, such as going to your favorite restaurant? If you never fail, that is equally bad, because that means you aren't raising the bar high enough.

The hardest part is building momentum. Once you get that going, it all becomes easier. The best thing I can tell you is don't beat yourself up about it. Don't think you are weak-willed. Just focus on making small goals and trying your best to meet them over and over again.