Neighborhood kids....

cjsgrimlin
cjsgrimlin Posts: 246
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
I just had my five year old tell me i was being mean because i would let her continue playing with her cousin (whom i was watching and is nearly 5 years older) and her neighborhood friend. Now her cousin i have no problems with. This girl on the other hand took the toys i brought out for my 5 and 3 year old to share, and wouldn't play with them. Told them to go away. Very rude to them. When their grandpa got home and they went home, my 5 year old cried. I told her she would not be playing with that child again because i do not like her attitude. So my question is am i wrong for taking that away, telling her that because she was rude i don't want her around??

Replies

  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
    I think the right to protect is one you should have.........I feel, not being a Mom myself though to be perfectly honest, that kids need to work out differences though. The fact that she is rude is a problem, yes, but is she an only child? Might be why she is being rude cause her Mom might not have taught her child to share........I say that if you try again, she is rude, and you try a different approach that doesn't work out..........then talk to the Mom of the child before you let your kid play with her again. Maybe you and this Mom will be able to reach a ground of understanding.
  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
    BUMP because I could be wrong.........don't think I am, but could still be..........and would like to hear some other answers!
  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
    bump
  • luigimoe
    luigimoe Posts: 3
    I don't think that you were wrong.
  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
    I don't think that you were wrong.

    Thanks for this.........but its nice to hear other opinions as well too :)
  • cjsgrimlin
    cjsgrimlin Posts: 246
    thing is i don't even know where this kid lives myself, she is my niece's friend and 5 years older than my daughter. I know most older kids treat younger this way. And she has a younger brother. On top of all that she bosses my niece around also. I don't think this is a mom issue (though i don't trust the sanity of a mother who lets her kids roam a neighborhood with a sex offender down the street.) i believe this is just how this girl acts. This is actually the second instance of this, my three year old tried to play with them at my nieces house one afternoon and was told in not so nice terms to go away "they" don't want their barbies chewed on (even though my daughter loves her barbies and never puts them in her mouth). I just believe this individual doesnt want to be nice to anyone younger at all.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    I think the right to protect is one you should have.........I feel, not being a Mom myself though to be perfectly honest, that kids need to work out differences though. The fact that she is rude is a problem, yes, but is she an only child? Might be why she is being rude cause her Mom might not have taught her child to share........I say that if you try again, she is rude, and you try a different approach that doesn't work out..........then talk to the Mom of the child before you let your kid play with her again. Maybe you and this Mom will be able to reach a ground of understanding.

    Yes, surely it is that she is an only child. WTF, ma'am. WTF.

    My child is an only by choice, and he shares better than any kid his age (probably because he is never forced to do so at home). Don't shiest bad behavior into false and ridiculous stereotypes.

    EDITED to add:

    OP: If you don't like the kid and dislike the parenting practices of the mother, keep your kid away. Problem solved.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    I think you did the right thing. My Aunt and first cousin both have had similar incidents with my second cousin, who's 7. Her mom lives in an apartment complex and her daughter used to have three little Asian girls come over to play in her room. The girls bossed her around and turns out they were stealing things from the house. They were banned from the house. At my Aunt's, a boy down the street would come to play with my second cousin and kids from across the street. He was recently banned because he exposed himself and began cursing.

    It's easy to say "oh go talk to the parents" but sometimes it's better to remove your child from the other who is obviously not behaving. If the child's acting that way then chances are they learned it from the parents or something they shouldn't have seen. Your child's going to make other friends. And really when they're young it doesn't seem to phase them for very long.
  • cjsgrimlin
    cjsgrimlin Posts: 246
    Thank you all, i kinda do feel good about it because when i was explaining why i didn't want her playing with the girl ( my daughter has a slight disability with speech and hearing, she doesn't hear the exact same as most people) she YELLED that i was being mean. THAT behavior is why i choose to remove her from other kids, she gets enough exposure to bad manners at school.
  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
    I think the right to protect is one you should have.........I feel, not being a Mom myself though to be perfectly honest, that kids need to work out differences though. The fact that she is rude is a problem, yes, but is she an only child? Might be why she is being rude cause her Mom might not have taught her child to share........I say that if you try again, she is rude, and you try a different approach that doesn't work out..........then talk to the Mom of the child before you let your kid play with her again. Maybe you and this Mom will be able to reach a ground of understanding.

    Yes, surely it is that she is an only child. WTF, ma'am. WTF.

    My child is an only by choice, and he shares better than any kid his age (probably because he is never forced to do so at home). Don't shiest bad behavior into false and ridiculous stereotypes.

    Dude.........chill okay? I didn't mean any harm by it...........obviously there are A LOT of people who teach their kid to share and share a like who are an only child..........I am just saying that some mothers are better at teaching their kids how to share than others. It isn't a stereotype at all.........I have known some who fall into that way of being which is why I asked in the first place. And I would never dream of offending anyone.......

    EDITED to add:

    OP: If you don't like the kid and dislike the parenting practices of the mother, keep your kid away. Problem solved.
  • amandamaren
    amandamaren Posts: 16 Member
    i would explain to the other kid that if she wants to play at your house she has to follow the house rules, which mean sharing and playing nicely. by setting ground rules for all the kids to follow, you are not being the mean one if you don't allow her over- your daughter will know that girl can't come over if she can't follow the ground rules. i think 99% of the time kids behave according to what they see, so if you set a positive example and explain the rules, she may adjust to what behavior is expected of her.
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