Sabotage!!

Dawn3218
Dawn3218 Posts: 80
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
AAARRRGGGGG

I can't believe it ...... ANOTHER work colleague has brought cakes into the office today - I wouldnt mind but it's not even their birthday!!

When Im NOT dieting they would just buy themselves a cake but when I AM dieting they insist on buying us all a 'treat' with the words 'go on it wont hurt'.....

These are the very people who are always saying they need to cut back and lose weight - so do them buy everyone a cake so they dont feel guilty about eating one themselves or are they just deliberately trying to sabotage MY attempts??

It appears they go out of their way to buy the most appealling, calorific cakes imaginable and I am left fighting with my willpower all afternoon!!

Rant over...... but does anyone else find others trying to test their willpower??

Replies

  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    I'm just going to be honest. It's not about you.

    90% of what other people do has absolutely nothing to do with you. They're not out to sabotage you deliberately, they just like or are used to have cake or treats.

    None of us live in a vacuum and as much as we would like everyone to be on a healthy journey (while we are as well), it's just not going to happen. Consider these opportunities to reaffirm your commitment. This is a lifestyle change (yes?) and you will be facing these temptations for the rest of your life.

    Consider viewing them as trade offs: one cupcake/cake will equal 1 hour of exercise (or whatever the caloric equivalent is for you). If you're willing to make the trade, have one. If not, rejoice in the fact that you were able to make a decision for yourself to stay on track.
  • simples88
    simples88 Posts: 51
    Usually they are the people who admire you and what you are achieving and would love to be in that position too. It's not personal, it's less guilt for them if they are not scoffing alone. Telling themselves 'well...everyone had one so it was rude not to' is the easy option. Trying to break a habit is never easy.
    I'm trying to think of it as a lifestyle change, and I'm a great believer in not depriving yourself. So if you want a high calorie snack, you work it off.
  • Dawn3218
    Dawn3218 Posts: 80
    Im not really taking it personally - I just dont like to feel 'obliged' to eat something I dont really want just because someone has bought it for me (if it were chocolate that would be a whole different ball game - Id tuck in and happily work it off).

    The cakes in question were 380 cals each - I dont even like cakes enough to eat one and then have to work it off so I just didnt have one - I gave it to a skinny male colleague who happily ate his and mine LOL :)

    We're a small team and if I knew one of my colleagues/friends was trying to lose weight I would have brought in some lower calorie cakes or a healthy alternative - at least then they would have an option.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    People are going to do what they are going to do. And you have to do what you need to do. Don't take it personally.....and don't expect anyone to cater to your new lifestyle. You have to live your life, they don't. Stay strong and keep working towards your goals!! :)
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
    Im not really taking it personally - I just dont like to feel 'obliged' to eat something I dont really want just because someone has bought it for me (if it were chocolate that would be a whole different ball game - Id tuck in and happily work it off).

    The cakes in question were 380 cals each - I dont even like cakes enough to eat one and then have to work it off so I just didnt have one - I gave it to a skinny male colleague who happily ate his and mine LOL :)

    We're a small team and if I knew one of my colleagues/friends was trying to lose weight I would have brought in some lower calorie cakes or a healthy alternative - at least then they would have an option.
    You are not obliged to eat anything. Just say "No thank you. I appreciate your thoughtfulness but it really doesn't fit into my lifestyle at the moment." You re in charge. Once you do this a couple of times, your co-workers will realize you are serious and will stop asking/pressuring you to eat.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    No one can make you do anything, just stay strong and do what's right for you and feel happy about it.

    I think it's just part of working in an office. EVERYONE likes to hold their stomachs and go "Oh, I overdid it with ___, I should really watch it" and then go order a cheeseburger for lunch. They're just saying it because they think that's what they should say, not that they really plan on doing anything. I regularly have coworkers/managers trying to shove breakfast sweets in my face and then groaning when I don't take any.

    There's candy and chips and all sorts of naughty things in the kitchen right now, but I'm going to have a few drinks tonight, so that's going to be my treat for today. :devil:

    Like I said, it's just one of those things, working in an office.... people are going to talk mess behind your back and taunt you with food.

    C'est la vie! Godspeed, happy Friday :3
  • elysecea
    elysecea Posts: 161 Member
    Use it to your advantage...as a tool to strengthen your discipline!!! I have been working at olive garden for 9 years I have managed to look at all the food (Italian is my favorite) and still resist the urge!!! I didnt eat a breadstick there for 2 yrs!!! I lost my first 50 lbs when I was working there and I also was able to resist my guests offer of some of their birthday cake!!! ( desserts are my nemesis) So you can do it!!! Trust me...If I can so can you!!! You are in charge of you...noone else is!!!
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
    Twice today, within minutes of each other it happened to me!

    Sabotage attempt 1: Co-worker comes over to my "cube" and starts pulling out his wallet...huh?? He asks, "Want some dunkin donuts? I'll buy if you get it!" I had just heated up my breakfast and it was sitting on my desk next to me. I say "I'm all set, trying to be good." as I motion towards my breakfast. "Oh that's right, I see your posts on facebook." (MFP goes to my fb)

    a few moments later....

    Sabotage attempt 2: Another co-worker arrives at my cube. "Gary baked a cake, come on over and help yourself!"
    Oy!! It looked yummy! But thankfully, I had an urgent task at hand, and was able to forget about it!
  • huntjan49
    huntjan49 Posts: 6
    Could srape off all the icing and have 1 bite & throw the rest away. But then, I love cake!
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
    They sound like they are trying to be nice, not sabotage you. All you have to do is say, "No, thank you." No one is going to shove cake into your mouth against your will. You're the one choosing to feel guilty about saying no.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,409 Member
    Sigh. They are just being polite. Would you feel better if they never asked you at all?

    It's not about you. They are free to eat whatever they like. You really have to find a way to say "No" - not to them, to yourself. They could really not care less if you eat it or not. But they are going to be polite and offer, anyway.
  • KarateGoddess
    KarateGoddess Posts: 93 Member
    Im not really taking it personally - I just dont like to feel 'obliged' to eat something I dont really want just because someone has bought it for me (if it were chocolate that would be a whole different ball game - Id tuck in and happily work it off).

    The cakes in question were 380 cals each - I dont even like cakes enough to eat one and then have to work it off so I just didnt have one - I gave it to a skinny male colleague who happily ate his and mine LOL :)

    We're a small team and if I knew one of my colleagues/friends was trying to lose weight I would have brought in some lower calorie cakes or a healthy alternative - at least then they would have an option.
    OMGosh! Don't feel obliged. If they are offended that you refused a treat when they offer it to you that's their problem, not yours. People bring things into my office all the time - our Engineer ALWAYs has junk food, chocolate, candies, mini cupcakes (which I ADORE) and he is always polite and offers and 99% of the time I politely refuse. Tempting yes, but not worth it. I pick my poison carefully - what do I most want to waste calories on that week and I stick to it...mostly! LOL With practice I've gotten pretty good. It started years ago - the place I worked at always got sent LOTS of See's Candies over the holidays. I would go into the kitchen, pull off the lid to the box, look inside at all the delicious candies I LOVE, turn the lid over, put my face up close and take a good LONG whiff then put it back on the box. I never ate one. One of my proudest achievements and it made me strong.

    You can do this. What do you want to waste your calories on this week? Those cakes or something else you like better? Your willpower is stronger than you think and it ain't the boss o' you!! ;) Good luck!
  • Dawn3218
    Dawn3218 Posts: 80
    Sigh. They are just being polite. Would you feel better if they never asked you at all?

    It's not about you. They are free to eat whatever they like. You really have to find a way to say "No" - not to them, to yourself. They could really not care less if you eat it or not. But they are going to be polite and offer, anyway.

    You could be right - Im just being a moody b****** because I'm dieting! LOL

    However the person did make quite a fuss because I gave it to another colleague - after Id said 'thanks for the cake but I'm trying to be good at the moment so Im not going to indulge' . :laugh:
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    No means no - and if you say it graciously it will not offend the cake bringers.

    Your "journey" is your own to travel and no one else is responsible for helping to get you to your destination. Really, it's better that way.

    :flowerforyou:
  • terewilliams
    terewilliams Posts: 338 Member
    No one can make you do anything, just stay strong and do what's right for you and feel happy about it.

    I think it's just part of working in an office. EVERYONE likes to hold their stomachs and go "Oh, I overdid it with ___, I should really watch it" and then go order a cheeseburger for lunch. They're just saying it because they think that's what they should say, not that they really plan on doing anything. I regularly have coworkers/managers trying to shove breakfast sweets in my face and then groaning when I don't take any.

    There's candy and chips and all sorts of naughty things in the kitchen right now, but I'm going to have a few drinks tonight, so that's going to be my treat for today. :devil:

    Like I said, it's just one of those things, working in an office.... people are going to talk mess behind your back and taunt you with food.

    C'est la vie! Godspeed, happy Friday :3

    I second this response! My team is having steak and cheese subs with french fries right now versus my salad and fruit mix. I just remember when I am strolling down the beach wearing my swim gear this summer they are going to be strolling in flab with full coverup gear. :wink:
  • OCmama87
    OCmama87 Posts: 10
    I'm sorry but I have to chime in. Sure some people are just being nice, but one or two of those and we all know who those people are in our lives ARE sabotaging. They are intimidated by you losing weight and looking great, I'm sorry but that's just the truth.
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
    I'm sorry but I have to chime in. Sure some people are just being nice, but one or two of those and we all know who those people are in our lives ARE sabotaging. They are intimidated by you losing weight and looking great, I'm sorry but that's just the truth.

    It's possible. But only you can control how you react to people like that.
  • gp79
    gp79 Posts: 1,799 Member
    I don't think anyone is intentionally trying to sabotage your attempts, the root of this is your decision making which is obviously heavily influenced by these foods being readily available or someone offering them to you.

    It takes time to develop the willpower to say no.

    Eating is a learned behavior and it takes a strong desire and commitment to reteach yourself how to eat and how to control your urges. It's taken me over a year, but I'm 100% capable of going into a pastry shop, ordering a coffee and walking out without ever salivating or feeling even an inkling of hunger.
  • Dawn3218
    Dawn3218 Posts: 80
    No one can make you do anything, just stay strong and do what's right for you and feel happy about it.

    I think it's just part of working in an office. EVERYONE likes to hold their stomachs and go "Oh, I overdid it with ___, I should really watch it" and then go order a cheeseburger for lunch. They're just saying it because they think that's what they should say, not that they really plan on doing anything. I regularly have coworkers/managers trying to shove breakfast sweets in my face and then groaning when I don't take any.

    There's candy and chips and all sorts of naughty things in the kitchen right now, but I'm going to have a few drinks tonight, so that's going to be my treat for today. :devil:

    Like I said, it's just one of those things, working in an office.... people are going to talk mess behind your back and taunt you with food.

    C'est la vie! Godspeed, happy Friday :3

    I second this response! My team is having steak and cheese subs with french fries right now versus my salad and fruit mix. I just remember when I am strolling down the beach wearing my swim gear this summer they are going to be strolling in flab with full coverup gear. :wink:

    Good for you - that's what helped me say no too. They always have delivery pizza on Fridays - it always smells soooo good but I try to think of that quote 'nothing tasts like thin feels'. Hopefully I'll get back there one day soon :flowerforyou:
  • Dawn3218
    Dawn3218 Posts: 80
    They sound like they are trying to be nice, not sabotage you. All you have to do is say, "No, thank you." No one is going to shove cake into your mouth against your will. You're the one choosing to feel guilty about saying no.

    Im not so sure - at one point I thought she may wrestle me to the floor and stuff it wholesale into my mouth LOL:laugh:
  • deniseselah
    deniseselah Posts: 225 Member
    Sigh. They are just being polite. Would you feel better if they never asked you at all?

    It's not about you. They are free to eat whatever they like. You really have to find a way to say "No" - not to them, to yourself. They could really not care less if you eat it or not. But they are going to be polite and offer, anyway.

    You could be right - Im just being a moody b****** because I'm dieting! LOL

    However the person did make quite a fuss because I gave it to another colleague - after Id said 'thanks for the cake but I'm trying to be good at the moment so Im not going to indulge' . :laugh:
    So let them make a fuss - that says SO MUCH MORE about THEM than it does about you!

    People love to connect and show love through food - which can get twisted quickly. But she [assuming it's a 'she' - and I guess that tells you something about me!] needs to realize your right to say no, and not base her self-esteem on you eating her cupcakes!

    You did the right thing. Yes, food pushers exist ... but the only person who can sabotage you is yourself - and you DIDN'T. Kudos for that!
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    After a month of eating right and exercising and having the same feelings as you, I have come to the conclusion that just because I am trying to be healthy, doesnt necessarily mean those around me have to as well. I control me, I can beat the temptations, and I bet you will too.
  • prairiedawg2014
    prairiedawg2014 Posts: 367
    dawn...i commend your willpower! you go girl!
  • shanahan_09
    shanahan_09 Posts: 238 Member
    If you keep thinking in terms of 'dieting' and it's affecting your mood--I'm sorry, but you're making this harder on yourself. Try to get your mind around this...it's a lifestyle change, not a diet to lose the extra lbs and then go back to what you truly want to eat. No one is sabatoging you...Once you can get the proper mindset, all the cakes n' goodies won't bother you one bit. But with that said, you should be able to have your cake and eat it, too....Just put that baby in your caloric intake for the day! :smile:
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