so discouraged :(

mrskellyray
mrskellyray Posts: 114
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
my husband just got a text "hope everything is great with you, Kelly, and the little one." I am not preggo and we do not have a baby, when my husband responded with that she said "what? i thought Kelly was pregnant last summer???" :( very discouraged today. :(

this is the first time I have cried over my weight. :( She was the 3rd person to ask if I was preggo last summer.

I hate my apple shaped body. I seriously have skinny legs and arms, just my stupid stomach. :(

I am getting JM'S body revolution in the mail..and i was praying for motivation...and I guess i got it. :(

Replies

  • carlye14
    carlye14 Posts: 53
    Hey there!!!! I'm not sure of your stats, but maybe my story will help a bit for you to realize that this happens to everyone...

    I'm 5'4'' and have weighed between 110-145 in the last 4 years. About a year and a half ago (I weighed around 140) I was fishing with my boyfriend....he was down at the water, and I was eating a sammich up where our stuff was. One man was fishing near him, and asked my bf "how far along is she?" WELL he said it loud enough that I heard, and I was sooo upset!!!! I have never been extremely overweight for my size and build, but this man had the audacity to ask! My bf responded that I was not pregnant, and the guy just kind of shut up.

    The moral of the story is that PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. Don't let these comments get you down, use them as motivation. Also, let me know how you like body revolution :)

    I also have the same problem, my legs are skinny, my arms are skinny, but my stomach carries all the fat!


    Good luck! We are friends on here, so message me if you ever need to talk or need advice!
  • mrskellyray
    mrskellyray Posts: 114
    Thanks! I am tying to just make it all about motivating myself to poor all my energy into Body Revolution. It should be here tomorrow.

    And I'm 5'4 as well, and my highest weight was 186, and I'm at 176 now. :( Hoping to lose alot with the body revolution!
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
    Yep, people can be complete idiots and don't think before they speak, or consider how their words might make someone else feel. I bet that guy felt like an idiot and he will think twice before making such a comment again!

    Good for you for ordering Body Revolution! I would love to try it, but it's not in my budget right now. But I have a stack of JM DVDs that I have collected over the years and they are awesome. Since I started my fitness journey (which has been on and off again over 2 years), I've dropped about 20lbs total, and am still trying to lose the fat off my belly! That's where it likes to live on me, too - belly, hips thighs. :grumble:

    Your last sentence tells me you've got the right attitude - turn that discouraging comment into motivation to work that Body Revolution, eat healthy and change your body! You can do it!
  • What is 'body revolution', pls?
  • i remember working in a shop 1 time and i a guy came up to me and said "is it a boy" me looking puzzled he pointed to my belly, i was so embarrased, (i had not long had a mc so i was distraught over that although i was only 10 weeks so notat the showing stage), i could have cried there was a full que listening in aswell, i thought id actually thought i was looking ok at that point aswell not hugely over weight, argh i feel your pain xx
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
    What is 'body revolution', pls?
    Jillian Michaels' new 90 day workout program. http://www.jillianmichaelsbodyrevolution.com/
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
    People are so rude. I have always been pretty thin but after getting into my late 30's, put on a few pounds (and I mean like 10 at the most) and had two or three people ask me if I was pregnant, just b/c I didn't have a flat stomach. I answered right in their face NO, I'm just getting fat, to embarrass them right back. AND I was tempted to say NO, are you?? since both are heavier than me!
  • kaaaaaaa
    kaaaaaaa Posts: 29
    That sucks :( I don't really know what to say but I wanted to let you know I think you're beautiful and from what I can see of it, I love your wedding dress! :)
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    You can do this! :) People are definitely jerks.
  • Krahn1984
    Krahn1984 Posts: 57 Member
    There should be a rule - never assume a woman is pregnant! Rude!
  • NYCDutchess
    NYCDutchess Posts: 622 Member
    So sorry hun, but use it as your motivation!!! Hopefully you shed all you can and show off next time you see that person.

    Seriously, it's a decision to eat right and get moving...as simple as that. There aren't short cuts and there aren't any miracles.

    Good luck!! I'm rooting for you....
  • mrskellyray
    mrskellyray Posts: 114
    Thanks Amy! My husband ordered for me as a surprise! telling me "I think you are the most beautiful woman, I just want you to raise your self esteem so you can see that too'. :) he's the best.

    and body revolution is Jillian Micheals new 90 day program, it comes with resistance band, meal plan, and 15 DVDS, and promises extreme weight loss. From what I've heard, people have lost up to 10 pounds in the "kickstart' week! Jillian knows how to get those pounds off! But it's 129 dollars. :( heres the link: http://www.jillianmichaelsbodyrevolution.com/
  • AmyLRed
    AmyLRed Posts: 856 Member
    I am the same build as you ladies, a very round apple. I am 5'1" and also often look pregnant! My highest weight was 193.6, and currently i am 155. I still have a big ol belly. My legs are great, very toned and slim, my arms are pretty good too. My trunk and mainly belly is where i carry it all too.

    My point is, you are not alone. Just remember that when they see you next summer, you certainly wont look pregnant (unless you are then!)

    Hang in there.

    PS-Jillian Micheal's Body Revolution looks great!!
  • KaciWood19
    KaciWood19 Posts: 396 Member
    This made me so sad! I am also an apple shape and have wondered to myself before that I thought I looked pregnant and wondered if others thought the same. Stick with it, kick your butt, do your best to stay on track and you will loose the weight. You can do this!!
  • Schula03
    Schula03 Posts: 171 Member
    What is 'body revolution', pls?

    I am curious as well.

    And People are soooo STUPID!
  • macylane4
    macylane4 Posts: 224
    Don't feel bad!!! Do you want to hear the story to how I started losing weight, and what put me on the wagon which I will never fall off of?!?! I am a realtor in the days, and work at a restaurant serving part time at nights. I had a table of pleople from Ireland, and it was a guy at the tables birthday. He ordered a large meal, and ate most of it. His family wanted to surprise him by getting him the chocolate stampede...a dessert to feed like 6 people. I came out and sang happy birthday to him, and said now you need to eat all of this! (it was obviously a joke). He said I'm not fat like you...I couldn't eat it all..I went to the back and cried, and realized it was true, and no matter how much it hurt, or made me cry, it was true, and either I could go eat a whole one myselff, or change my life, and next time he comes back to the restaurant on another trip, I"ll be at my goal weight, and tell him he's too old now for something as hot as me!!!!
    Also, I've warned everybody I know that I won't get pregnant until I'm thin, so they know never to ask me!!!!!!!!!
  • CookieCrumble
    CookieCrumble Posts: 221 Member
    Goodness me, how rude! I've never come across this in England, I think people might think that I'm pregnant but wouldn't be so rude to ask. You never can tell when somebody has just had a baby or whether they are pregnant or even if they've just had lunch. Why don't people keep their small-minded opinions to themselves and not just blurt out whatever is in their tiny little minds? A great mystery of the universe that is.

    Take no notice.... an apple shape would be great, I'm envious of it. I'm an hourglass and it's nearly impossible to buy dresses that fit properly plus when I do find a wrap dress I love, it starts off closed in the morning when I leave for work and by lunchtime I'm flashing my boobs and can't get the dress to stay shut. A busty person will never look slim, in my opinion, no matter how slim they are. Apple shapes are lovely to dress... all those seperates out there to show off those gorgeous slinky arms and legs. Be proud tell yourself that you won't mind about the little things - and really, don't mind them.
  • That was very untactful. Wouldn't said friend of been informed of the arrival of the non-existent "little one?"

    Anyway, it's alright, **** like this happens to many of us. I'm sure if they don't do it on purpose they feel just as bad.

    A month after I'd had my baby this lady that knows our family asked my mother-in-law if I was pregnant again. I mean come on lady, if I WAS pregnant again I wouldn't be showing at one month.
  • mrskellyray
    mrskellyray Posts: 114
    Thanks so much guys! you are all very encouraging by sharing your stories! It's all just so frustrating! :( I am also not getting pregnant until I get fit @macylane4. I really want a home birth so want to be in the best health possible.

    But at least my BR will be coming tomorrow! so i can work out all this frustration!
  • I hate when that happens! I've been asked if I was pregnant more than once and it sucks. People should know better than to ask that, if someone doesn't tell you that you're pregnant then you shouldn't ask!
    Don't be discouraged, one of my super skinny friends has even been asked if she was pregnant before. People are just stupid.
    Also, I'm a bit taller than you (5'6" and a half!) and I've got a pear shaped body (I think...) these fruit shaped body types suck.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    oops. I used to pray for patience, then I learned my lesson on that. I'm adding "Give me motivation" to my list of things not to ask for now.

    I'm sure she feels as bad as you do about the slip of the tongue/fingers. . . we all say stuff before we think......just move on.
  • mrskellyray
    mrskellyray Posts: 114
    That sucks :( I don't really know what to say but I wanted to let you know I think you're beautiful and from what I can see of it, I love your wedding dress! :)

    Thanks so much! that wedding was about 2 years and 20 pounds ago! :) but my dress was Beautiful, and I got an amazing husband out of the deal too. :)
  • dougii
    dougii Posts: 679 Member
    People that make comments like this are beyond IDIOTS. My baby daughter had a strawberry birth mark on her left cheek and absolute strangers would walk up and touch it and make comments like "what did she do to herself" or "how did you let her burn herself". Well 24 years later she is still my little girl, the birth mark is gone and she is happily married to a wonderful husband. Use the comments as motivation and IGNORE the %$# %$#)s of the world.

    After breaking my left leg in 3 places about a year ago I started on my fitness quest, against doctor's orders, this past January 10th - the one year anniversary of my quiting smoking. Exercising wasn't too rough but changing the amount and what I was used to eating was. Motivation and desire are the keys - if I can do this you can too! Keep posting whenever you are feeling like you need support and there will always be MFPers ready to help you out.
  • Don't let it bother you! I have had that happen to me twice in the past when I was almost 50 lbs heavier than I am today and I just brushed it off because really I was happy with my body. My weight didn't depress me and I had a loving longtime boyfriend that was attracted to me, that was all that mattered to me! I have started to lose weight for health issues and to get in shape before I get married and start having kids. Do not let other people's dumb comments or thoughts affect how you feel about yourself. As long as you are happy no one else's opinion matters!
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
    If it were me, which it wouldn't because I'm a dude, but if it were, I'd probably reply with some dark humor like, "nope, just a fatass" or maybe darker like, "nope, it was a giant tumor." Why? Partially for shock value I guess, but also because, you ask a stupid question...

    People have said things about me that hurt my feelings, but you know what? I really let myself go, and I have to turn the negativity into positivity - motivation, amusement, whathaveyou - in order not to cover up my pain, but to help me accept where I was, and to help drive me forward to where I want to be.

    You need to focus on the fact that you're making changes, and keep doing it. Don't get down on yourself - that will be detrimental to your success. And as others have said, people are stupid.
  • greenmm25
    greenmm25 Posts: 175 Member
    I am shaped the same way, way back when I was thin and only weighed 130 lbs and was asked if I was pregnant too, i was shocked, but now i that I am not so light I have to watch what i wear cause i look very Pregnant like 7 months along. but hey people shouldnt asume stuff like that but they do. Your working hard and keep it up. And your not alone.
  • mrscao
    mrscao Posts: 6 Member
    Hiiiii, ~ I sooo get it. I am 5'8" and my highest weight ever was 188 (+/- 5) at the end of each of my 5 pregnancy's. I had some health problems several years back that had prevented me from working out. Fast forward and here I sit at a whopping 272 lbs. My sister has realized great success with the help of this site and it has motivated me to be more faithful to it.

    Just gotta take it one day at a time =) Good luck with the JM Body Revolution!!! Keep us posted on how you like it. :laugh:
  • Aquamohawk
    Aquamohawk Posts: 5 Member
    I hate blunt Comments like that ! So sorry you had to go through that experience =( I know most women do but don't let this affect you ! keep your chin up this Journey is sooooooooooooooooooooo worth it ! =D
  • Kristena2009
    Kristena2009 Posts: 28 Member
    Your husband sounds like a sweet thoughtful man who thinks you are beautiful inside and out. Its great to have people who support you that you love. My mom told me I looked pregnant last summer and I had only gained 20 lbs or so.

    I actually know of a funny story about my aunt that always comes to mind.

    my aunt has struggled with her weight a while and she was a bit heavier when she and her 2 young daughters were grocery shopping. the girls were 3 and 6. She ran into an old friend from high school that she hadn't seen and since she had gained weight after high school since she was quite a bit bigger the man assumed she was pregnant and said wow contrats i havent seen you in so long. 2 kids and one on the way you must be so busy! ...she was so mortified that she didnt't correct him and just politely said thankyou. a year or 2 later she had coincidentally got on a dieting program and had lost a lot of weight when she was babysitting my other aunts baby. so the kids she had were a one year old, and her other 2, about 5 and 8. She ran into that same exact man in church and he assumed that it was her baby and congratulated her again. by this point she had dug herself in deep so she didn't want to admit her previous lie and even though she was in church she kept up the lie.....flashforward to a year and a half later she ran into the man and his wife again but this time she was only with her 2 daughters and not babysitting. The man said hey you remember my friend from high school, she has 3 kids now...wheres your other one? she said she felt terrible doing this in the lord's house but she just acted like the man didn't know what she was talking about and said she has only ever had 2 kids.

    I love my aunt for that story and I'm proud of her for taking control of her weight but its just a reminder that stuff like that happens and you can't let it discourage you.
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