Odd Facebook question

_binary_jester_
_binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
I have a friend (not a close friend. someone who I met twice but we interacted over facebook) who just died. He was really young. A tragic accident. His name also happens to start with an A, so his profile is still at the top of my list.
So what would you do?

Wait until the profile is deactivated out of respect...if ever?
Remove him now or wait?
Never remove him?
Get a permanent marker and black out his profile?
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Replies

  • SteveHunt113
    SteveHunt113 Posts: 648 Member
    If it were me, I'd leave him. Maybe someday I'd delete, but I would leave just for remembrance sake.
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 614 Member
    Sorry to hear that. It all depends on you. Personally I would probably delete them because for me I would feel a little depressed each time I saw his name. But if you like the remembrance of him then leave him on your list.

    Then again I didn't take my God Fathers name out of my address book for many years after he died and I still have my Dad in my cell phone and he passed away 2 years ago... I'm not a good reference I guess.
  • jamk1446
    jamk1446 Posts: 5,577 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that.

    I would probably wait a while but eventually I would delete.
  • terrellc1
    terrellc1 Posts: 231 Member
    A good friend of mine died, and his facebook page is still activated. It was nice to see all of his friends wish him a "happy birthday wherever you are now" or just stopping in to post a remembrance or funny story.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    This sort of thing has actually happened to me. It was someone I went to high school with and she died of cancer late last year. i had little contact with her off of facebook as I have moved very far from my home state, but it was still a shocker when she died.

    I still have not deleted her from my friend list, but I don't often look at my friend list on facebook. I assumed that eventually her family would delete the page or perhaps turn it into a tribute/remembrance page.
  • committomittxoxo
    committomittxoxo Posts: 339 Member
    Wow.. a more poignant post than I was originally expecting.. I'm not on FB so I have no idea but I have always wondered about this.... I'm sorry friend.. :(
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    sharpie.
  • SteveHunt113
    SteveHunt113 Posts: 648 Member
    A good friend of mine died, and his facebook page is still activated. It was nice to see all of his friends wish him a "happy birthday wherever you are now" or just stopping in to post a remembrance or funny story.
    I like this!

    A good friend of mine created a FB profile for her daughter who committed suicide. I've added her (the daughter) as a friend and we celebrate different occasions or her profile. We all remember on the anniversary of her death.
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,385 Member
    When one of my friends died I kept her page up for a bit, but eventually deleted when her sister started updating it.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Well, you could just "hide" him, without deleting him. That way, he is always there, but you will never see him. If you ever want to pop in, you can unhide him. If you unfriend him, you can never go back and look.

    I think it would be fun to go back and look at his posts and pics and stuff later on, maybe a year later or something. So, I would say not to delete. Just hide him for now.
  • BodyRockerVT
    BodyRockerVT Posts: 323 Member
    A good friend of mine died, and his facebook page is still activated. It was nice to see all of his friends wish him a "happy birthday wherever you are now" or just stopping in to post a remembrance or funny story.

    I did this too. Over the summer someone I knew committed suicide. He was on my FB list and I left the profile and it was uplifting to see people sharing things on his page. Stories about him, words for his children, videos/pictures of him doing what he loved. It didn't make the hurt any less but was nice to see the positivity.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    Well, you could just "hide" him, without deleting him. That way, he is always there, but you will never see him. If you ever want to pop in, you can unhide him. If you unfriend him, you can never go back and look.

    I think it would be fun to go back and look at his posts and pics and stuff later on, maybe a year later or something. So, I would say not to delete. Just hide him for now.

    I agree.
  • AliciaBeth78
    AliciaBeth78 Posts: 437 Member
    Using an extra wide tip sharpie, draw a big black box around his face on your computer screen and color it in completely?
  • MRC77
    MRC77 Posts: 51
    I went through the same thing about 2 months ago but it was someone I knew for a long time. He was young and has a heart attack while he was at work. I left his profile on my friends list for about 3 weeks after his death but then I deleted it. It was hard to see his picture everyday and know that he was gone. That plus all of the messages from his friends made it even harder.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    Sharpie.

    Seriously though I would keep it, it is nice to be able to go back and read the stuff they put - I have had this happen, it took me months before I went back but it was full of good memories - stories from other friends, pictures. It helped me with my grieving process.
  • netchik
    netchik Posts: 587 Member
    It doesn't get deactivated. Ever. My best friend died 3 years ago and occasionally Facebook comes up and says "write on Margaret's Wall..."

    At that point you have to laugh or you cry :ohwell:
  • christinerush
    christinerush Posts: 155
    Hi, I would just hide the profile for now too! Too early to be thinking of what to do yet! You might feel bad if you delete it as once its gone, its gone and there is no going back. At least if its hidden, you wont be upset as wont see his picture all the time!
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    It doesn't get deactivated. Ever. My best friend died 3 years ago and occasionally Facebook comes up and says "write on Margaret's Wall..."

    At that point you have to laugh or you cry :ohwell:
    Friends or family can have a facebook profile changed to a "Memorial State" to avoid this sort of thing from happening.

    https://www.facebook.com/help/?page=185698814812082
    When a user passes away, we memorialize their account to protect their privacy. Memorializing an account sets the account privacy so that only confirmed friends can see the profile (timeline) or locate it in search. Friends and family can leave posts in remembrance. Memorializing an account also prevents anyone from logging into the account.
  • RoboLikes
    RoboLikes Posts: 519 Member
    I had a friend who died and deleted him from Facebook because every time someone wrote on his wall it would come up on my newsfeed which instantly gave me a case of the sads. Now it's worse, he constantly pops up as "a common friend of x amount people you might know and want to add'. Now I wish I didn't delete it, because I miss seeing his pictures and dumb stuff on his profile or wall. Sorry for your loss, maybe wait a little on the Facebook action.
  • ryansgram
    ryansgram Posts: 693 Member
    I had a friend on FB that died also. I keep her on there. I even leave her birthday messages and i notice other people do too. Even though i cant see her, she is still my friend.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I had a friend who died and deleted him from Facebook because every time someone wrote on his wall it would come up on my newsfeed which instantly gave me a case of the sads. Now it's worse, he constantly pops up as "a common friend of x amount people you might know and want to add'. Now I wish I didn't delete it, because seeing his pictures and dumb stuff on his profile or wall. Sorry for your loss, maybe wait a little on the Facebook action.

    You can block people too. That' way, you'd never have to see this person popping up. I blocked my ex completely. We have common friends, and we can't see each other at all. Well, we couldn't. I've since deleted facebook, but that's a different story.
  • Beckym1205
    Beckym1205 Posts: 217 Member
    Well, my frieend's daugter died a year ago (the aniversary of her death will be on Monday) and I have har as a friend on my facebook. (In addition to her being my friend's daughter, she was a student at the college I work for, so I knew her that way as well). Well, her facebook is still active, and I still have her as a friend. I don't plan on ever deleting her as a friend. I look at it sometimes to see the pics of her and her baby boy and read some of the things people post on her wall. Plus, I would feel guilty for deleting her...
  • Dilfster
    Dilfster Posts: 416 Member
    depends on you. honestly, i would probably delete it-- even if it was my best friend. I wouldn't want to be reminded of it every time i logged on...but that's just me.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    A lot of families choose to leave the person's facebook up so they can look it over and remember the person. If you are going to miss the person, I would suggest leaving it so you can go and reminisce. If you know you won't want to see it again, you could delete the Facebook. A couple of kids from my high school died and someone must maintain their facebook because they accept new friend requests.
  • InfamousQ
    InfamousQ Posts: 266 Member
    I have two friends that happen to I never deleted them people still post on their page say stuff like "I was talking bout you today" or "I remember when we........"...I just leave the page.....
  • rkellyscoco
    rkellyscoco Posts: 6 Member
    Why would you remove him?????????? whats the point? like i dnt get why u would even be bothered by someone that died still being ur FB friends?!!?!!!
  • Moonbeamlissie
    Moonbeamlissie Posts: 504 Member
    I would keep him right where he is... He needs to be remembered!!!!
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    That has happened to me also but it was a relative. I couldn't delete him. :( But one day, I guess after having an inactive account, his picture disappeared but his name is still there. Maybe your friend has family who visits his/her acct? If so I wouldn't delete as your friend.
  • sumnerfan
    sumnerfan Posts: 244 Member
    See I guess I'm in the minority, but I have a friend that passed and to see people post on his facebook page was a little creepy to me. Especially when he makes 'new' friends. I just think that's strange. That being said, I didn't have the heart to delete him either. It just seemed rude. I know I'm no help.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    I had a similar situation, i decided to keep her page (i think its been deleted since i havent checked).

    EDIT

    Its still there....and whats actually sad is ppl wrote generic happy birthday posts on her wall last month i guess they dont realize well...yea...
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