How can I help my friend?

Faye_Anderson
Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
I have a friend who is trying to diet, because she knows I have lost weight she is always asking me for advice. I have tried to direct her to MFP but she says it's not for her. Sometimes I cave in and tell her the things that have worked for me, i.e watch sodium, drink plenty of water, watch calorie intake, exercise etc, she takes it as a personal insult and then gets upset because she is really trying and no matter what I say to try to cheer her up she comes back with another negative comment about herself.
I know that she will have a couple of really good days of eating well but then weigh herself and get depressed because she hasn't lost as much as she expected and then binge, then the cycle starts again, she knows that I have spike days so she calls it her spike day but seriously can't understand why we're not at the same point in our journey.
We have had some really good conversations where she has told me she could be doing more and apologised for being negative and blamed it on being hormonal but it goes back round in a circle.
I really don't want to sound like I'm bad mouthing my friend on here, I really want to help her. What would you do?

Replies

  • whitneyann0
    whitneyann0 Posts: 327 Member
    Honestly....

    I'm not sure if there is anything you can do.
    I know that before I started on this journey, I didn't want to hear anything from anyone!
    I would be offended if anyone wanted to help me.
    In my opinion, it is something that I had to want to do for myself. There was NOTHING that anybody could say to me that would have made me do it sooner.
    I believe that a person has to truly want it for themselves and want to commit to it.

    That's just been my experience. :bigsmile:
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    She says she wants it, she's just not quite there yet x
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Just keep being a good example. Let her be miserable. You've told her your "secrets". Now she just wants to whine.
  • tortoise73
    tortoise73 Posts: 8 Member
    I agree with the person who commented.

    My advice is to :flowerforyou: ask your friend :flowerforyou: how you can help her! If she brings up her struggle again, say, "I really want to be here for you. What can I do to help you or support you?" Then you know! She may say to not bring it up, or to listen and not offer advice, or to share what's worked for you, or to go walking with her, or something different entirely.

    I think it's awesome that she has a friend like you.

    (I'm actually a psychologist IRL)
  • scott091501
    scott091501 Posts: 1,260 Member
    They have to find their reason to be committed. Whether that's MFP or WW or whatever. All in good time.
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    Advice is what people ask for when they already know the answers ;) I agree with the above poster who recommended continuing to take care of yourself and set a good example. You can't do it for her or want it for her bad enough. She has to be ready to make the necessary changes. But you are a very sweet friend for trying to help her.
  • slo02ee
    slo02ee Posts: 29
    She will not be open to anything you say until she's absolutely READY. It's hard to deal with for sure. I get asked for low carb advice all the time but no one wants to commit to a true lifestyle change so it never works! It sucks. :/
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