She won't shut up

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laughingnome
laughingnome Posts: 259 Member
in Chit-Chat
I NEED HELP!!!! My SIL talks constantly and nobody else can say a word. All her stories seem to start with her birth, she has to set the scene who was there who was where, how she felt, time of day, time of year etc. She doesn't know how to have a conversation it's like a lecture every body has to listen to her. There is no subject she doesn't know about or have an opinion on.

I always suggest my husband and his bro go out golfing, fishing whatever so they can get together and we don't have to see her.

Well the BIL had 2 kids with his first wife and hasn't seen them for 11 years, I found them on FB and they are now back in the family so I have to see her more often. I don't want to make a scene or embarass her ( her mom is the same way) but I can't take it.
HELP! We are having everyone up for Easter and I can't take another day of listen.

Replies

  • BigCat175
    BigCat175 Posts: 38 Member
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    Did you say you were going on vacation for Easter and ditching them? :)
  • grizzlymaze
    grizzlymaze Posts: 185 Member
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    Lol. My sister is getting married and my wife is going insane over this. My sister is going to be a bridezilla and my wife is matron of honor. Talk about stress on her and me. Im stuck in the middle of the two.
  • 2hungariangirls
    2hungariangirls Posts: 220
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    I had to read this again to make sure you weren't talking about my family. :bigsmile: GL!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    You want her to stop being a woman? smiley-confused004.gif





    smiley-scared003.gif






    In seriousness...there is nothing you can do or say that will change her and likely trying will do nothing but cause family tensions.
    There are just some things in life that will always be no matter whether we like it or we don`t.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Did you say you were going on vacation for Easter and ditching them? :)
    Winner of the internets!
  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
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    Take it from someone who talks a lot..........yeah, Mom calls me "motor mouth" (or used to when I was younger) affectionately of course.........main thing to do is to take her aside of the group. Don't be harsh, but I am assuming you already know that one, and be cool calm and collected above all else. Tell her that you feel that you really do want to listen to her and her stories, but to sort of cut it to the chase. Say that its such a big group and as much as you love hearing her talk (okay, so its family and while its not good to lie.......a little white lie isn't gonna hurt if it makes the person feel better), that you want to hear from everyone and not just her. That you are only around for a short time and barely ever get to hear from anyone else because she takes center stage.

    If she gets offended, just tell her you are sorry, but you felt that it was something that you needed to bring to her attention because you didn't want to end up fighting over something as small as this (and that, by no means, is me making it seem like you are making it into a bigger deal than it has to be.........its something to say to let her know that its not a huge ordeal for you, but you really wanted to try to work things out with her).
  • KarenLue
    KarenLue Posts: 94 Member
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    I think you may be related to my husbands family!!! lol My MIL was the same way! Drove me close to tears and I didn't care about anything she was talking about! But in her mind she was trying to make conversation with me. Who knows! They maybe thinking we're rude! "I just talk and talk and talk to her and she never says anything back!" lol but seriously I just sucked it up. Wasn't worth causing issues. And hoped other family members were around to help take turns listening.
  • Lindy901
    Lindy901 Posts: 71 Member
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    My opinion is, since you asked, you are stuck. I don't think there's any way to talk to her about it without it going bad. I know myself if someone brings up a personality trait of mine that they think I need to change, well, let's just say I get hurt so easily. Everything would so depend on her personality and your relationship. Maybe everytime she starts into her birth story interrupt and say you have to check the chicken in the kitchen, etc. Maybe she may get the hint if you interrupt her every time although I don't think that is a great solution either. Try not to :explode:
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    my precious husband is a big talker and i just ask him mid conversation "are you going to get to your point soon?"
    he usually gets to the point. i have explained to him i dont need all the details i dont need the background info unless i happen to ask. i think she probably thinks everyone needs all the details cause thats what she needs.
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 378 Member
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    My ex-MIL is very similar. I asked her if she was ok since they had such bad weather recently, and instead a yes or no I got a full explanation of her emergency plan, her mom's emergency plan, her sister's, every challenge they met, etc. etc. Drives me uppa wall - and I feel badly for her - but she still manages to get on my last nerve.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,120 Member
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    ruh roh. . . . . good luck with that.....I'm from a family of those.....*eyes-glass-over*
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
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    you could talk to her in private as others have suggested, it may work, it may not... because you're asking her to change herself , maybe she will be receptive and tone it down a bit but...
    you cannot control other people, only yourself

    you may just need to adapt to the way she is...politely interrupt her long stories so she gets to the point, direct the conversation to other people, ask other people questions before she has a chance to start a story and if she interrupts them interrupt her and refocus the conversation back on the other person (all gracefully of course)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    My grandma is the same way. I love her, but she talks and talks and talks. I think if you want to help your SIL you have to have whoever is related to her (not sure if it's your brother's wife or your husband's brother's wife) talk to her about it. My dad gets angry about it and asks her to hurry up. I don't think that's the right way and it doesn't work. You have to be nice about it.
  • BCKS
    BCKS Posts: 287 Member
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    You want her to stop being a woman? smiley-confused004.gif


    smiley-scared003.gif


    In seriousness...there is nothing you can do or say that will change her and likely trying will do nothing but cause family tensions.
    There are just some things in life that will always be no matter whether we like it or we don`t.


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Always enjoy your responses, no matter what the topic.
  • mlbazemore
    mlbazemore Posts: 252 Member
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    I wish I had the answer for you and I'm sorry for laughing so hard but my SIL is in town, she stayed with us for 3 weeks visiting her brother, she is the EXACT same way. EXACT same way, me being who I am I just listen, I don't try to argue with her even when I KNOW I'm right about a situation, IDK, if I had the answer I would give it to you and do the same...lol...good luck!!!

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