Addiction

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beautifullyjaded
beautifullyjaded Posts: 107
in Health and Weight Loss
When i was in high school i took a health class. We did an entire subject on drugs, alcohol and addiction. They taught us that alcohol, meth, cocaine, crack, Ecstasy, heroin, acid, and ha ha even marijuana could become addicting there for making you an addict. they also told us that becoming an addict meant that you had to have that substance in your life to make you feel like you could live. But why i wonder did they never warn you that something you have to have in your life to live could be an addiction. I fully believe i am a food addict. i obviously need it in my life to live, but i also use it as an anti depressant, a social interaction, a boring fix, that little something extra on the side. I want so badly to think of food as nothing but fuel for my body and i want so badly to fuel my body with the best possible things out there, i also want my daughter to feel that way about food so she never goes through what i have. but i don't know how. My mother used food the same way i do so since i was little i was taught all the wrong things about food. i cant help it and now I'm starting to get bulimic tendency in my head. some times i tell myself oh just eat all that plus that cookie you can just puke it up after ward its really the taste you want, granted 99% of the time i do not give into that, i ignore it and grab the healthy stuff. but still, food is my addiction and i truly believe its just as awful and harmful as meth or cocaine crack ex heroin. it could kill me just like those drugs. yes i have lost quite a few lbs but lately....its gotten hard for me to go to the gym, and it seems to get increasingly harder to eat healthy. i can feel some of those lbs coming back on and i do not want that. i want to be thin and mostly i want to be healthy. i want to teach my daughter good food habits but how can i do that when I'm addicted to food, everything about it. the way it looks and smells and tastes. I'm in love with food. i really wish i had a workout buddy to go to the gym with...or something to take my mind off food when i am bored or depressed or anything that may make me look at food. i don't want to "yo-yo" but i am having trouble getting back on the "wagon". i don't over eat extremely and I'm not 650 lbs I'm only 200 and that's down 40 lbs but i still feel guilt every day, and every time i put something in my mouth. i wish i could get over this addiction....

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  • samantha115
    samantha115 Posts: 371
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    Im the same way. I feel guilt every time I eat. When I eat a healthy portion of regular food, I feel as if i just gain 5 pounds. I feel dirty after I eat sometimes. Im not going to lie, once or twice Ive given into those voices in my head, but I try to ignor them as much as possible. Ive also become a mojor calorie counter. I know your supposed to eat 1200 calories a day but Ive got to the point where I try and eat under 1100, but I strive for 1000. Once again if I do eat more than 1100 then I feel dirty. Its a terrible circle. I do want to lose weight and I do want to do it the right way but the voices always seem to be there. Just wanted to let you know you were alone.
  • azwildcatfan94
    azwildcatfan94 Posts: 314 Member
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    One suggestion, and I don't remember where I read it, to help you think of food as fuel... For at least one of your meals, try to eat the same thing. The more variety we have, the more we eat. It is something in our genes.

    So, for me, it is breakfast. But, I do have two that I eat. One until I just don't want it anymore and then I switch to the other. Right now, I eat 4 hard boiled egg white, chopped up and mixed with 2 TBSP of hummus on whole grain toast. The other breakfast I usually eat is oatmeal with cinnamon, dry roasted almond slivers (no salt), a TBSP of protein powder, and sugar free maple syrup. Now, I am not suggesting that you eat what I eat. But, figure out what you like and then don't think about the food, just eat it.
  • weightoffmom
    weightoffmom Posts: 61 Member
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    I am glad you posted this. I feel the same, I come from a family with alot of addiction problems. I have always known the dangers of drugs and booz 1st hand and have managed to stay clear of these crutches. But when it comes to food I must admit I have abused it and can answer yes to every question an addict would answer yes to when discribing his drug addiction.

    It is a struggle every meal, every day. :grumble:

    I am really trying to stay on track too....
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
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    Food is not the problem for most people. Like you said food is used as a salve. You always have to get to the underlying problem. You can develop a healthy outlook on food but then use something else like exercise as a salve then the exercise becomes your addiction.

    You should never feel guilty for eating. Food should be enjoyed. I don't think looking at food as fuel only is a healthy attitude either. In essence you are rejecting it. IMO that's like parents you look at their children as tax breaks and count down the days when year 18 comes.

    Perhaps you can find a overeater anonymous/ or food addiction group in your area. People who have over come are the best people to talk to because they know where you are and can help you get to where you want to be.:flowerforyou:
  • jcope001
    jcope001 Posts: 5
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    ok, here's the deal. Find a power greater than yourself. There are 12 step programs for food addictions as well as other types of pro. help for the kinds of thoughts you are talking about. Reguardless what the scale says,our minds must feel healthy also.
  • cgrant71
    cgrant71 Posts: 8 Member
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    I have to admit that I also have many of the same feelings, in that I feel guilt after eating and obsess about calorie counting. I then fall off the wagon and sabotage all the progress I make. I find myself frustrated and feeling deprived when I have to count calories. This results in resentment towards my partner and my friends who can eat whatever they want. I become grumpy and pretty hard to live with. It's sad that the only way I can feel satiated is if I work out to burn an extra 5-800 calories, so that I can eat a sufficient meal and have my little indulgences. I am always thinking about food and feeling angry that I can't just enjoy life. How do you find that balance. I know that the food "addiction" is a symptom of underlying issues, but how do you finally concur the issues. I have been in therapy for 24 years now trying to deal with my issues and confront my demons; however, still can't overcome my issues with food and self image. I wish there was an easy answer to this because I would love to just find that balance, where I am healthy and happy.
  • kaliena22
    kaliena22 Posts: 45
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    The hardest part of the recovery as a food addict is that we must eat to live. Unlike other addictive substances that can be avoided for life.

    AAA teaches people to live with thier addiction one day at a time, once and alcholoic always an alcholoic ,each day is a choice to not drink. I think we have to see things similarly, each day is a commitment to yourself to your family to do the best job possible to control our food additions. And when we do fail, as we will, be kind to ourselves and commit to the next day, or even the next hour. :love:

    I have learned to have a food plan for the week. I use it to grocery sho, prep food and keep track of how much I am easting. I am learning what my triggers are, what sets me off and I try to avoid those situations, I know what foods are taboo for me, I just can not have them around. That makes sticking to my plan easier.

    Best of luck!:drinker:

    PS, a great nutrition book (oldie but goodie) is "eat to live not live to eat". Very technical book but they dicuss food combining and the science behind. Who knew Susanne Somers wasn't the first :laugh:
  • emom21
    emom21 Posts: 13
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    I'm glad you posted this. It's hard to be honest about it. I have the same reality. I watched my mother suffer horribly from food and exercise addiction, and I've been lying to myself that I don't have the same problem, but I have it and worse. I was thinking about it tonight, after another food stashing incident. I make an excuse to run an errand if I don't want someone to see me eat more, and then I go through a drive through. I stop and stash the trash. How sick is that? i get away with it because I'm not really overweight for my height, but the truth is I am. I know I am probably closer to 50 pounds heavier than where I would be really healthy at. But you're right, we can't get away with NOT eating.

    I don't have an answer for you, and we're in the same boat. I also have a young one that I desperately want to teach healthy habits to, but I'm not modeling it. I laughed when she asked for ice cream for breakfast, but it's not really funny, now that I think about it. (And no, I didn't give it to her!!!)

    I guess what's helping me right now is the number of members on here ... it's not a handful, it's A LOT. That means that there are lots of us who have some kind of food problem. And we're going to work through it. Together, and one day at a time.
  • ilike2moveit
    ilike2moveit Posts: 776 Member
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    I'm addicted too. Food is always in my thoughts and I think about it way too much. I'm hoping that in the near future I can go through the day without food being such an issue.
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
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    I read a book called God's Love Bank by Tony Roach and listened to a free seminar online. The underlying root of the problem as I see it was unforgiveness. I realized when I didn't forgive someone who wounded me that I closed my spirit (or the door to your heart). When you close a door not only can nothing/no one get in but you nothing can get out either. So you are trapped in a room with your hurt, anger etc. That is too much for most of us to deal with so we develop coping mechanisms-addictions.

    For me realizing that all people are broken helps me keep evil things people do (wounds people inflict) in perspective and makes it easier to deal and heal.

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